Riced Out Yugo
teach a man to fish
as an average american, when i wake up in the morning, i don't really care whether my country is invading iraq or afghanistan. it doesn't have any effect on when i get up, how warm the water in the shower is, or how my eggy toast cooks. it's just some assholes blowing each other up thousands of miles away. not that i approve, mind you -- if it were up to me, that shit would stop pronto. but it's not up to me.

i vote most of the time like a good little lemming, but at the end of the day, the bottom line is that both sides are bought out by special interests. if, say, the democrats were to stop taking all corporate money -- go clean and honest -- the republicans would steamroll the democrats by massively outspending them on ads. so, they take the money. consequently, the republicans can run ads saying the democrats are crooked jerks. meanwhile, the republicans are in exactly the same situation themselves. whoever can point fingers bestest gets the presedential hotseat.

most americans, for the first few years of their life, are blissfully unaware of this. politics is some silly adult squabbling to little kids. then, as adolescents in school, we're painted a rosy picture of america. honestly, some days, i wish i were still duped by it. it's not a good feeling to break through that glass wall of cynicism, to realize that a system you had immense respect for, great faith in... is, in reality, a finely tuned engine of bullshit. this is the point where many people bail entirely, and excuse themselves from any knowledge of politics via cynicism. "oh, nothing ever changes... i can't do anything about it, really..." meanwhile, it's pretty much useless to try and work within the system by getting involved in the engine of politics. raising money, knocking on doors, phone canvassing... all of it is quite often time and effort down the hole. you wind up either cynical and disillusioned or angry and frustrated. what a gip, right?

that was about where i was, when i had the realization i started off this post with: rarely does any of this stuff effect me directly. it doesn't matter if we're in iraq of afghanistan. it doesn't matter if republicans or democrats are in the house, they both fuck us over in their own special ways. what DOES matter is, if my neighbor is a democrat and i am a republican, we distrust each other. we're both terribly afraid the other guy's side will take over and destroy the country. we argue about bullshit happening thousands of miles away, which we have absolutely no fucking control over, and scowl at each other. since no one's listening to each other, sharing thoughts, broadening each others' horizons, people become hermetic. isolated. they hide in their caves with television telling them what to fear.

it's corny, but the core of our -- civilization's -- current problems is the lack of community. bellows of fear pump panic into society, and no one trusts each other. when no one trusts each other, they can never work together, never unite and cast out the greedy assholes making everyone's lives miserable. i don't feel there's any "conspiracy" striving to keep us all afraid, just a lot of rich, powerful men that realize keeping fear in generous supply is good for all rich, powerful men. the only thing that keeps the greed from devouring everything at once is that each of these men want everything for themselves, and so they fight for riches and power. the riches and power keep changing hands like a hot potato, no one ever winning for too long. it's been this way for centuries. see the rise and fall of the roman empire, the british colonial system, etc.

this is getting long, so i'll get to the point:

if you quit your job and went to help with one of the big political deals right now -- barack obama's campaign -- you might help him get elected. however, because of dirty money's stranglehold on washington, even if obama has the best of intentions, he won't be able to do much. maybe a little, but it'll be like a striptease followed by a fart.

if, on the other hand, you put that same level of effort into meeting all your neighbors, inviting them over for lunch, throwing a BBQ party, then they may invite you back, invite each other for lunch, throw their own BBQs, and start TALKING to each other, instead of being talked into paralysis by the TV.

"give a man a fish, feed him for a day. teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime."
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2008-10-10 12:03:00
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workerz pynchonz in the transmission plantz
nobody nose basement better. STRAP IN, BUTTON UP UR ARSEHOLES, here's the DOW. plunag plunge PLUNGE PLUNGE flush. where's bottom/flush? wall st., omg wtf lol. wir just a family goin thru tingz. too quickjly. we cannot afford moar tingz credit plz halp!! cnn newscaster's oversized lips portray the gravity of the situation. rtqp eats his eggy toast and contemplates changing gnob earth. business newslady tells serious lippman about purging. rtqp leaves to purge bowels. "things are happening so quickly, that we at cnn are unable to spin bullshit fast enough" the end is neigh. THE END IS NEIGH.

seriously, folks, don't listen to these jerks. cook an omlette and chill out.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2008-10-10 10:04:00
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i got covered in w0t
and i didn't know w0t 2 do about it
Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2008-10-10 03:09:00
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media circus
good evening jamie
Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2008-10-08 01:39:00
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this is somewhat recursive, mr. mccain.

"What I don't know, is what the unexpected is."

--John McCain
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2008-10-07 21:35:00
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Blue calx overload malarky
rapidshare.com/files rapidshare.com megaupload sendspace, download, leak, FREE PORN DOWNLOADS HACKED PASSWORDS!~@!:".212\fr;mfesl efsmpsem 2 2-07829u3 kr3 k3rnpi32q lr3qm po2q l;p kpioe esrakjbhreik nqioknqknolnrqolknqnekl richard d james doing a handstand.
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2008-10-06 15:40:00
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the green one was into the purple one
and elastic bendies was flouriscide hax malarky shebiv elastix moenasticxe traieferra
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2008-10-04 23:17:00
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How to disturb common conversational etiquette procedures
Person1: "Hi"
Person2: "Hey, How are you?"
Person1: "I'm good thanks, and yourself?"
Person2: "74"
Person1: "What?"
Person2: "74"
Person1: "??"
Person2: "74 74 74"
Person1: "..."
Person2: "More 74 needed"
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2008-10-03 20:11:00
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select and pick your first one
5 4 3 2 1
5 4 3 2 1
5 4 3 2 1
now fight a new rival
Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2008-09-29 02:06:00
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about me
Well im an all around gr-8 person wit alot 2 give. I love to party n im a real outgoin perosn. I love to cook n i love to model which is my main focus right now. N no fellas i ain't taken. If you wanna kno about my background im persian n Brazilian HOLLA! i love boyz n basketball im a huge fan of old school music n country n hip hop n rock! my best friends r yasmine, dija, jameela, n above all Yorina! SHOUT OUT 2 MY GURLS. I am a wild gurl, n i luv to write poetry im a huge football person 2. Well i relaly duno wat else ta say except ne one is welcome to be my friend!
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2008-09-27 19:58:00
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metric hambone
sdklfd kllu wkqluqkl klu ljlu kull klu clu, do you think we can merge with this memory, bit?
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2008-09-27 19:55:00
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can you imagine
space roast
Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2008-09-27 04:36:00
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The guy behind the counter at the liquor store is a fat spigot
hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi
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hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi
.-----------------------------------------.
DRQ5 / \
-------' '--
-----------. .------
!DACK5 \ /
'---------------------------------'
---------------. .--------------------------------------
ADDR X ADDRESS
---------------' '--------------------------------------
--------------------. .----------
!IOR \ /
'--------------------'
------------------------. .--------------
!MEMW \ /
'------------'
------------------------------. .-----------------------
DATA X DATA
------------------------------' '-----------------------
.----------------------------------------------------
AEN /
-'
REMOVABLE SINGLARITY
Posted by Atomdrache @ 2008-09-27 02:03:00
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  • Tyrannosaur
  • ffffff
  • Why is there sand?
  • Cosmoblade
  • GODDAMN THAT SNARE RUSH MADE MY TEETH TWO SHADES WHITER>
  • Seriously, pomegranates.
tune3214 tuen4213 tnue3314 tneu4313 nuet3224 neut4223 nute3324
Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2008-09-26 02:35:00
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oprah's downward grape spiral
it started with just one grape. there was a basket of them on the table, and they were just so tempting. oprah chewed on her nails. she was on a diet. but it was just a grape. one grape... what could one grape hurt? she plucked it from the vine, and popped it into her mouth before any more nagging doubts could stay her hand. it was delicious. so delicious. she had another... then another...

little did she know, six months later, the police would be trying to talk her down from a ten-story tall pile of white castle cheeseburgers. she had threatened to throw herself off of it, right in front of her TV studio. by the time the police put her in cuffs, however, the pile was only nine stories.

it all started with a grape. one single grape... so delicious.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2008-09-22 15:54:00
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40yo be the line between offense and lol in this zone
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2008-09-21 22:55:00
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SO WATS TEH PROBLEM??!?!

wats all dis den??
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2008-09-20 23:20:00
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BIZ MARQUEE
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2008-09-20 14:00:00
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i forgot, i missed

i forgot to set my alarm.

i slept through the global financial crisis.

now who's up for tea?

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2008-09-19 02:17:00
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respect the coathanger
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2008-09-18 00:18:00
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