Riced Out Yugo
YUGO
YUGO LABS
ALSO WIK
we are the fap generation
we are the fap generation. or generation fap, viewer's choice. we live in world of more porn than we actually want, and have developed a bizarre lingo with which to navigate it. scientists once thought it impossible to have too much porn, but they had not seen goatse, or had precious childhood memories ruined forever via a moment of foolish curiosity. over and over we risk opening pandora's box, when it is not for sale on ebay (because mr. pandora's cock wouldn't fit in it).

we are the fap generation, the bulletin bored. we live in the blogosphere, the forum universe, our islands connected by syndicated black magic. quantum uncertainly reigns supreme - does the internet exist? yes, no, maybe, NO U, STFU n00b - all these are viable, if not arguably correct answers.

memes are the order of the day, and the viral-thought engineers are our new overlords. the fap generation knows serious business when it sees it. all your base are belong to the fap generation. peanut-butter fapping time. ring ring ring banana fap. ninjas vs. pirates vs. fap. leeroy jenkfap. i can has fap generation. fap generation going to teh moon, brb. the fap generation is watching you masturbate. everytime you masturbate, the fap generation kills another childhood memory.

many try to harness the attention and energy of the fap generation - presidential candidates revive decade-old chuck norris email memes, hed-on is applied directly to the cerebellum, and superbad is superyoutubed.

but they fail. though some are duped, most see through these paltry efforts. the would-be harnessers fail to grasp the cornerstone of the fap generation:

we're just here for the porn. show us your tits.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-12-05 05:44:00
Direct link to post Write comment

facebook has jumped the shark
get out while you still can
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-12-04 06:15:00
Direct link to post Write comment

<br>
pigsquickle
existential flooterquob
o
bitblt
exercising is fun and easy
hilary clinton eating your face
hilary clinton eating your soul
hilary clinton biting off your penis
hilary clinton winning an election
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-12-04 05:43:00
Direct link to post Read comments (1)

paranoia
everybody quiet. they will hear if everybody is not quiet. why are you not quiet?? oh, you want to know who will hear, my friend, i will tell you. sweden will hear. sweden has ears. sweden will see. sweden has eyes. sweden has arms, lions, witches, and wardrobes. sweden grabgrabgrab. sweden cannot be escaped, sweden around every corner. sweden has giant moose. if sweden catches you, sweden will send giant moose. sweden will make you food for moose. moose is handicap friendly. you think i am crazy? you will see i am right, when it is too late, when you are in belly of swedish moose. sweden is everywhere. sweden cannot be escaped. we must watch carefully for spies of sweden. is hotpocket swedish?? no, hotpocket is swiss. is coffee maker swedish?? no, coffee maker is made in taiwan. is sweden swedish? YES!!! RUN FOR IT

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-12-03 09:47:00
Direct link to post Write comment

Riced Out Yugo Proudly Gives Kane & Lynch an 11 out of 10
this will be a lesson to me - to follow up on my hunches more often. i saw the television ads for kane & lynch, sadly after my "commercial slogans that weren't" post was written. in fact, i almost did a vol. II, simply because i wanted to rip into this shitware a bit. now i read about the atomic gamer conniption gamespot has caused, and i realize i should have acted on this. it was like when i wrote the post titled "a book report by general betrayus" before the ad was run in the new york times.

so how did i know? before the voiceover glamourizing the drugs and violence aspect of the game kicked in, the first fucking frame of kane & lynch themselves killed it for me. if you are not up on james bond films, i suggest you look at Mr. Wint & Mr. Kidd. when a game's main characters are borrowed from an oft-parodied, 30-year old action film, you have to wonder where they halfassedly lifted the rest from.

suck my tits, eidos. if you want to sign an ad contract with yugo so you can pull it, just drop us a line. also, for the record, i thought the tomb raider series was turd.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-12-03 08:55:00
Direct link to post Write comment

FOLKS
FOLKS FOLKS FOLKS FOLKS FOLKS FOLKSFOLSKFOPL,SKF FOLKS FOLKS FOLKSFOLKSFOLKSFOLKSFOLKSFOLKSFOLKS

FOLKS


gods, what a geriatric word that is.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-12-03 08:28:00
Direct link to post Write comment

We are going nowhere and everywhere.
(analog hacker extraordinaire)
(analog hraoacker extrdinaire)
(anag hrloaoacker exinairtrde)
(anag hrkeaxrloinaoac eirtrde)
(eaxrlog hrkanaitrdenaoac eir)
(denaoeanaxrlog hrkaitrac eir)
(nanarlog hrkaitr acadeoexeir)
(nanaexec kradhrgitr aaloeoir)
(khananairxcdr goiter areolae)
(anolanacdr hgokiter erxareai)
(anancdrlog hakier exotraaire)
(ananlog hackier exotradraire)
(analog hacker exotrnaidraire)
(analog hacker extraordinaire)
Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2007-12-03 01:56:00
Direct link to post Write comment

USE COLLECTIVE CODE OWNERSHIP
CREATE SPIKE SOLUTIONS TO REDUCE RISK
CREATE SPIKE SOLUTIONS TO REDUCE RISK
CREATE SPIKE SOLUTIONS TO REDUCE RISK
CREATE SPIKE SOLUTIONS TO REDUCE RISK
CREATE SPIKE SOLUTIONS TO REDUCE RISK
CREATE SPIKE SOLUTIONS TO REDUCE RISK
ADD JUST-IN-TIME FUNCTIONALITY
ADD JUST-IN-TIME FUNCTIONALITY
ADD JUST-IN-TIME FUNCTIONALITY
ADD JUST-IN-TIME FUNCTIONALITY
ADD JUST-IN-TIME FUNCTIONALITY
ADD JUST-IN-TIME FUNCTIONALITY
ADD JUST-IN-TIME FUNCTIONALITY
Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2007-12-02 23:38:00
Direct link to post Write comment

Google AdSense in Full Effect

RICED OUT YUGO SELLS OUT.
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-12-02 18:00:00
Direct link to post Write comment

RICED OUT YUGO ENHANCEMENT PILLS

I FEEL CONFIDENT AND SEXY AGAIN THANKS TO RICED OUT YUGO
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-12-01 16:21:00
Direct link to post Write comment

I, er... welcome PLINY.
(Did I miss a staff memo or something guys?)
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-11-28 18:04:00
Direct link to post Write comment

MY BRILLIANT WRITINGS VOL. I
TRUE GLORY CONSISTS IN WELDING WHAT DESERVES TO BE TACKED; IN TACKING WHAT DESERVES TO BE DUCT TAPED; AND IN SO WELDING AS TO MAKE THE WORLD HAPPIER FOR OUR WELDING IN IT.
Posted by PLINY THE WELDER @ 2007-11-28 17:53:00
Direct link to post Write comment

Riced Out Cereal
WHY NOT HAVE SOME

Wat-O's
Special Q
Riced Crisps
Raisin' Hell Bran
smaqks
checkqs
Ape-Nuts
Honey Nut Now
Weedabix
Moldin' Crisp
Brute Loops
Accosted Flakes
Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker's Old-Tyme Digital Oats
Groovy Pebbles
Cheery-Qs

THIS MORNING??
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-11-28 12:32:00
Direct link to post Write comment

commercial slogans that weren't
  • cheetos: the special capsules that can make a man larger.
  • Madden 2009: LOL you're still buyin' this shit too bad we bought out NFL rights
  • e-harmony: getting u laid unless ur fat lol
  • LG Mobile: Buying a better cell phone SAVES THE CHILDREN.
  • 7 days: 7th generation photocopy of other shitty scifi shows
  • 7 days: this show sucks so hard RTQP had to write a second slogan
  • net neutrality: ensuring bit torrent can transfer legal data.
  • GEICO: 15 advertisements could create a bunch of viral marketing in your brain
  • Guitar Hero: For Fucks That Are Too Lazy To Learn Guitar
  • Rock Band: For Fucks That Are Too Lazy To Learn Guitar And Have No Girlfriend To Blow Their Cash On
  • spike tv: gender equality is temporarily suspended here
  • A WEEK'S SUPPLY OF PLACEBOS FOR THE COST OF A POSTAGE STAMP, COULD WE AFFORD TO DO THIS IF IT DIDN'T WORK???
  • august hope: letting you watch 7 movies in two hours. be hip without depleting your clip!!
  • playstation: starting at the cost of only 7 car payments
  • SPEND $24,000 AND SAVE $100 ON A TOYOTA
  • miller chill: u trailer trash? wnat 2 gets teh laid???
  • disaronno on the rocks: cocaine on my tits
  • COMCAST: Pay us dollars to ream you up the butt
  • there's stupid, and then there's army stupid.
  • IT IS NOT A GIMMICK! IT IS REAL SCIENCE!! THIS STOCK FOOTAGE OF D00DZ IN LAB COATS PROVES IT!@!
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-11-28 02:29:00
Direct link to post Read comments (1)

LAY IT DOWN LAY IT DOWN LIKE THIS
Beep bloop bloop, beep bloop bloop bloop-bloop-bloo. TAKE IT DOWN YO, TAKE IT DOWN YO YO YO
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-11-27 15:38:00
Direct link to post Write comment

cJONHFESSIN THYME
al'[right u cujntas, itlls lay it on thqwline 4u lolsucl,. hjere is how drukqrfs play casarole in teh 23th cventryu musiz of afx twine (aleso wit: dicekman, smpofdgecaes, fonicboi on rope): fjirst i find ED of teh chamriclal bros in a fclub and he nhjeeds a lien reel bad.ly. i t3ll hyikm i;ll give him an 8ball and a bjag of sklightly axspired pervitin tblaets if je gets n2 me tank. whjen he does, ie3llock ed inside thar tank 4 5 week with higha quality, neumann condenswer mckiyfone plrgged n2 bneve preamp, eqz. record edxs waitl2s of despair, load thn2m n2 sampler. thent3 i usjed tyhe sampl3s to nmaek a track3 called DFGJKLDFGsdfgh whiqch got releasaed as gwarek2 on dtruqks.

othjer tha3n thatt dtruq2ks haev playew3d no role in my msuics.
Posted by Richard D. James @ 2007-11-27 11:41:00
Direct link to post Read comments (1)

Transcript
Rumble, "whoa!".

...

flute music | Greeve mrs what(?() | BIRUGB | Greeeeeeveveveve (in my head) | Haha yeah, there ytou are hgahahahahaQ"iou2i2
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-11-25 15:54:00
Direct link to post Read comments (1)

YOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYOYO XCQWHAT%
PErcentage of fux in the fux area, pitch black drunk sex ual percentage fux. Fux is the new era of fux, in the dark in the dark in the dark, reeeeeeeeeec in the darfk/. Sex u a l . io n the dark
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-11-25 15:41:00
Direct link to post Write comment

Absolutely fucked out of my fucking head you cunts comeponeoneop3429857y8ihwknre,fr qr3wfd
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm de-0tgariwung the ioce cream in attempt toharnsss the p-iower of the cazt yo! lhtyrlfp;'lur I]'m ginna pull up in a black vanyoyoyoyoyooyyo fufck.

anyway errttpr.... rtqp is going to drink more of teh vodkas to catch uyp in order to fux speach and shit. yeha. MORE COMING SOON
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-11-25 15:38:00
Direct link to post Write comment

WE WELCOME THE NEW LAYOUT, AS IF IT WERE A BROTHER
HELLO MARIO-STYLE RSS BUTTON, HELLO IMPACT FONT TYPE, HELLO , HELLO EVERYTHING.
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-11-25 11:24:00
Direct link to post Write comment

Previous 20 entries