*There is an unspoken law that press must use SIR when referencing this gentleman - don't ask us why, we're just following convention. Heaven forbid Riced Out Yugo break ranks with the media.

Riced Out Yugo declares "War On Errorism"

The international Riced Out Yugo association today issued a press release, declaring its committment to a War On Errorism. Spokesman Count Wat IV invoked the spirit of George Carlin, stating that there was "a lot of crap in the world that is stunningly full of shit." Pressed to explain this further, he told the AP that "I'm sick of them downsizing my microwave pizza and trying to fool me by advertising the 'NEW PACKAGE DESIGN'... they can kiss my package." The AP did not seek further comment.

The War On Errorism has loosely been described by Harvard sociologists as a "movement of movements," seeking to "clear the constipation from the bowels of world consciousness" and to "prod our movements into movement." The United States of America and its Congress has overwhelmingly emerged against the movement. Rep. Joe Barton (R, Texas) has been quoted saying, "Constipation is good for America. Our forefathers did not found this country on a philosophy of moving on. That's exactly what the Terrorists want - change. Why, I bet they've never even been to a McDonalds." Experts suggest Congress is merely defensive of its massive obesity after a years-long pork binge, which has hampered it's ability to, well, move.

The Riced Out Yugo Pundit, the Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker, proclaimed the following: "Black is black. White is white. Grey is sometimes black, and sometimes white - Grey offers consumer choice, and is healthy for America. This country is addicted to Congressional black and white - what we need are some alternative sources of color in this country."

Rupert Murdoch, head of styx-based News Corp, issued a brief statement, which experts believe to be a 17-second fart.

Увж юзер! Хочется сказать, что данный софт ты используешь на свой страх и риск, а следовательно никаких претензий ко мне быть не может. В свою очередь заявляю, что никаких наёбщиков-переёбщиков троян не содержит, он работает только на тебя.

• Your functions shalt be pure; no impurity shall be found within them. For the I am the Lord your God of the Functional Paradigm.
• Thou shalt not rplaca nor rplacd, lest thine functions become impure.
• Thine recursive calls shalt be tail-recursive; for any other way invites sin unto thine stack. Tail-recursion is exalted for optimization.
• When thine program is utilizing recursion, thou shalt always have a base case. Thy base case shalt always exist, lest thine function become infinite. Infinite recursion invites the gravest sin upon thine stack, that sin of overflow
• Aliasing of thine lists is restricted to the acolytes and priests.
• Follow the standards of the land. Nonstandard implementations of the language of your ancestors bring iniquity upon your descendents, the maintainers.

1. You have no privacy.
2. The government may examine any aspect of your life.
3. If you don't do anything wrong, you have nothing to hide.
4. The government does nothing wrong.
5. You may not question the government.
6. The government requires complete privacy.

• MySpace
• LiveJournal
• Blue Frog Spam Filtering
• Microsoft
• America Online
• Sourceforge.Net
• Google

• My Ted Stevens is very large.
• My Ted Stevens is rather hairy.
• One of my Ted Stevens' danglers is lower than the other one.
• My Ted Stevens was recently rented out for the pleasure of telecom companies.
• My Ted Stevens fits well into pork barrels.
• My Ted Stevens is a bridge to billionaire.
• My Ted Stevens is a drama queen.
• My Ted Stevens is for sale to the highest bidder.

• Balloon-mounted rocket cannon
  If it had succeeded, it would have been in great demand, but sadly, none of the test pilots survived.
• Invisibility cloak
  One word: Seagulls. And, if that doesn't make it clear, another two words: Passenger Jet.
• The "Hindenberg Button"
  The idea seemed to work, but testing was difficult and legally costly.
• Built-in Restaurant
  Potential restaurant clientele found it difficult to fufill their reservations.
• Titanium, bullet-proof gondola
  This idea never got off the ground, due to weight issues. Also noted was the lack of a bulletproof balloon negated the benefits of a bulletproof gondola.
• Plastic-ball filled balloon to provide day-care for children of pilots
  Kids and helium don't mix.
• Digital display on balloon for ads, as opposed to paint
  Pilots could not resist changing the display to naughty words.
• Cash bar
  Pilots demanded a free bar.
• Tractor beam
  Blimp tended to be drawn towards the target object of traction, rather than the desired (opposite) effect.

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