Riced Out Yugo
YUGO
YUGO LABS
ALSO WIK
Ezekiel N. Zaboliah's jar of assorted facts
did u noe:
  • Hats are inflatable
  • It is impossible to burn nylon
  • Your dog needs a cell phone
  • Dante was an accomplished cellist
  • Standing on the top step of a ladder lets you talk with God
  • Nougat is made from cow hooves
  • Oil is the world's most plentiful natural resource
  • It is impossible to intentionally drown yourself
  • You can't fold a credit card more than five times
  • Beanie Babies are coming back in 2007
  • Net Neutrality will make the Internet more open and cheaper to use
  • Voting Republican will empower citizens and please Jesus
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-05-14 00:36:00
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if i may have your attention, please
this is a Leather bound q-train. the next stop is stopped, and passengers may not disembark, or let their dogs bark. there will be no next stop after the next stop, unless someone brings the conductor a pint.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-05-14 00:17:00
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hatticus q. finch and you
the somewhat erstwhile old chap didn't appreciate being called a chap.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-05-14 00:11:00
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Handwritten note given to me by Dick Cheney on the morning of September 11th, 2001
POTATOS CHANGE EVERYTHING
POTATOS CHANGE EVERYTHING
POTATOS CHANGE EVERYTHING
(Please make sure there is no 'e' attached)

Make sure you prepare the 1995 Buick Skylark (blue color) for my departure from Andrews AFB. Also have several cans of 'PIZZALICIOUS' flavor Pringles POTATO crisps in the car on the passenger seat.

POTATOS CHANGE EVERYTHING, DAN!

-R.B.C.
Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2006-05-13 21:34:00
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film alpha oslo
I've tired of the high phone bills, but I've killed warewolves + police officers + other clanmembers. Whats new in St. Louis?
Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2006-05-13 21:23:00
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Subbagging Teawoof
WARNING: Non-consensual subwoofer teabagging is a federal offense punishable by law. If you, or somewoofer you know is being teabagged without consent, please let us know at 1-900-EAT-HATS
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2006-05-13 04:48:00
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borgoise apprentice
Jimmy Jimmy mocha pop. That's what they called him. He was the dude that made iced coffee at the East View mall Starbucks... and you didn't want to cross him.

i cruised down the 409 with "Safe From Harm" on the ol' toyota's corolla hatchback's upgraded stereo. basicly, since the car was such a shitbucket, i'd converted the rear portion into, uh... i don't know what to call it. let's just call it one big speaker. i'd also rigged a little motor to a switch on the dash, allowing me to open the hatch remotely. it was a nice day, so as i pulled up to starbucks, i flicked the switch and opened the hatch.

that's when it happened - jimmy jimmy mocha pop tore out of the starbucks, mad as a wet hen. it turns out he was allergic to guitar solos.

"i'll osborne your face!!" he yelled, brandishing an ancient luggable computer.

i knew i, and the poor corolla, would not have a good time of it if i did not do something dramatic, and quickly. so, i pushed the big red emergency button. the result was sufficiently dramatic.

the volume shot to max (it had been on 2 out of 10) and the drum freakout at the end of aphex twin's "54 cymru beats" tore into everyone's bodies. after about two seconds, all the windows in the starbucks gave out, but i didn't care, as by that time i had floored it.

"HAHA, SO LONG!!!" i yelled out the window.

however, in my glee, i did not realize my toyota corolla was currently barreling towards a japanese war memorial at the center of a rotary.

the only thing that saved the toyota from going kamakaze on it was the fact that the sound blew it out of its moorings.

after that i turned the volume down to 7.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-05-10 20:35:00
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top of the watrix, guv'nor
    | |Proleteriat (tm) |  brand Job |

|Contains natural ingredients| |plus seven vitamins to |support healthy slave labor
|
|instructions:
|resume, layoff, repeat|
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-05-10 20:17:00
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Most not welsh word ever
poptart
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-05-09 20:02:00
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Longest welsh word evar
gochylywcymwurlcymywwrgwynggyrgwynluwugwynwwauwyddyglygochyyygcymrawagwynwwlugwynayglgochryyggochwugycymuygygwynuraagwyngyargwynygwucymlyrgwyddauruwyddwuyuwydduwaagochaurgwyddluglcymlwrygwynulwwgochalaggochruwlcymrulacymllylgwynuygggwyngluggwyngyluwyddrullgochgryggochuuugcymuwwwgwynarrwwyddagaagochargrgochrrlwgwynaagggochaguacymugrygwynglawgwyngyrrgochgauucymauugwyddrrrgcymaawwgochrrauwyddalgugwynryyawyddyayawyddlwyagochrlulgochwragcymlwwlcymauaywyddrruywyddgaylgochurlgcymyallgwynylywgochuuwugochggrlgwynaulagwynrargcymgalagwynullygwynuyuawyddlwwwgochalaugochlurwcymwuywgochuwrrgwynauwywyddgggygwynuargcymrlugwyddylrwcymrwlucymyyulwyddrawggochgwgrcymwuuygwynrrlygochaagawyddlylagwyngauawyddawwlgochwllggochggwgwyddaygagochgauycymrrggcymalwlcymywgrcymgagwcymarracymrggggwynruglgochugrwwydduuracymylgagochalllcymalglgochuwlggochraglgochwaagcymlwagcymgyawgwynywllgwynlwwucymlwuagwynwwlagwynrgauwyddugruwyddrlulcymyayrwyddyglrgochullygwynruurcymyyawwydduguygochllrrgochulywwyddywwucymyglagochuggucymruglcymlllgcymgguagwynrryygwynlrwrgwynyargwyddlaaacymuuwwgwynugargochwlywwyddayrugwynlrargochlluugwynrawwcymrlaggochaugrwyddaawlgwynauaggwynalylcymyrgagwynwlrrgochaulywyddulgrgwynulgggochayrygwynryylcymwylrgwynglwwgwynarrwgwynyuyggwynwaarwyddyuwywyddyyywwydduallgochyaglcymaugycymyrlugochrylwwyddarwwgochgauugochargwgochlawggochwglygochgrwgwyddrullcymguwwwyddrllwgocharugwyddgrylgochryagcymylal
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2006-05-08 21:16:00
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riced out yugo is the key to your hopes and dreams
You may have just asked yourself, "Why did I visit this site? What the hell is it?"

Those are very good questions, and ones we will answer in time. First, however, you must ask yourself: Why do I visit any sites? What the hell is a site?

We don't know why you visit sites (we do it for the porn), but we can tell you that this is a site. And so is Google.

Now, you are probably wondering, "Why did I visit this site? What the hell is it?"

Those are very good questions, and ones we will answer in time. First, however, you must ask yourself: Why do any sites exist? What the hell is existance?

We don't know why sites exist (we suspect because people create them), but we can tell you that this site exists. And so does Google.

Now, you are probably wondering, "Why did I visit this site? What the hell is it?"

Those are very good questions, and ones we will answer in time. First, however, you must ask yourself: Why do I exist? What the hell am I?

We don't know why you exist (we suspect it is because Walmart needs to profit somehow), but we can tell you that you are this site. And you are Google.

Now, you are probably wondering, "Why the hell am I still reading this crap? What the hell is it?"

Those are very good questions, and damned if we know.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-05-08 15:32:00
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attention
all anarchists must be registered with the government
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2006-05-07 23:48:00
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RE: rosebudpeas

Please read: A PRIMER TO INDUCTIVE JOURNALISM and A FIELD GUIDE TO CANINE PSYCHOTROPICS, both my a H.M. Wogglebug, T.E., who's collective works are compiled into a series of indexed publishings known among academics as THE WOGGLEBUG PAPERS.

Upon completion of the works of Wogglebug, you will have a comprehensive understanding of the inner mechanics of Yugo, and for all intents and purposes, you will be a RICER AMONG SCHOLARS, wearing a neon mortar board, and you will sit before a typewriter with ILLUMINATED KEYS.
Posted by Mr. H.M. Wogglebug, T.E @ 2006-05-07 23:33:00
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i say, old bean, have you seen my hat?

HAVE YOU SEEN MY HAT?

IF SO, PLEASE CALL OUR 24-HOUR HATLINE:
(530) 678-4931

ALL CALLERS WILL RECEIVE A FREE GIFT*





*note: not all callers will receive a free gift
Posted by The Great Hatsby @ 2006-05-07 15:27:00
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An open letter to Richard D. James
Dear Richard,

I am a big fan. Is it cold in your bank? How many synthesizers do you have? Which is your favorite one? I like synthesizers, too.

What is your opinion of subcutaneous hematomae?

Are rooms in the bank for rent?

Thanks,
R.T.Q.P.

p.s. can you spot me first month's rent?
p.p.s. COME ON YOU CUNTS
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-05-07 14:15:00
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From deepinside the bancvault
Richard likes beats
Richard likes beats
Richard likes beats
Richard likes beats
Richard likes beats

Click here to logon.
login: rdjames
password: nannouquiche
beats@jamesville!~
Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2006-05-06 22:02:00
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ph34r


BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE COALITION FOR A THUG-FREE AMERICA
Posted by fuckle @ 2006-05-06 20:41:00
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A FOND FAREWELL TO OUR CHINESE READERS

ricedoutyugo.com is the place to go for invigorating discussions of human rights, democracy, Tiananmen Square, and assorted pies
Posted by fuckle @ 2006-05-06 20:24:00
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plunklemimpston
isatolah doorknob; pensecola meatloaf. 3/4 isiah domino platter. cheese. ralph. are you?

clamwidth macfee; pulsebake; mcgee. 3/4 irish heritage boogie. guinness. sean. are you?

dictionary truffle; cheddar church. 3/4 accuracy guaranteed. lawyer. rich. are you?

plomp sitlz zatz kbling
klamp metric klamp blingk
klorp zappe zippe kzappe

h
a
t
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-05-06 02:25:00
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wagon christ is fantastic for wheelie chair
u noe et.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-05-05 22:44:00
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