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| YUGO |
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YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
| crint5#20AB | |
| Screw you yugo, get with the times why don't I have a 20 character limit. I suppose I could thumbs up a post but then that would just defeat the logistical/statistical tabarwacky. Share this on facebook, G+, twitter & postface. Want to be my friend? Let me run this blood test - bad cases of zombie going around these days. Reprogram the outer space in the void whilst creating a new oil painting. Are you happy? ARE YOU? I got 21.8874 reasons and I'm not going to deal with this one. So gas prices are fucking terrible these days man, yeah it's just these corporations, thats how I am I'm just anti multinationals. AntMalt est. 3872 #~ tightbeam [m.3897.28] post to yugo, guarinteed results, russian bride in 18 business days, transfer #~ PAUSE|BREAK | |
| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2013-05-11 23:36:04 | |
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| wakeupmorn | |
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>turn the dial 2 ceephax >roll teh greens into a green paper holder >friday morning acid >chillin' on yugo >put my sunglasses on >barrel baron in sector 5 >defcon 2 |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2013-05-10 16:27:10 | |
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| floyd the barber | |
| Floyd teh barber can't eat a god-Danged cheeze cracker without making a mess, but he'll catch a glod-danged lizahd off teh carpeht witout droppin' a singlet hair bro.... | |
| Posted by shitbowl @ 2013-05-07 00:02:53 | |
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| note found on car windshield | |
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agent gretzky,
matsuzuka von weasel will make the drop at the appointed hour. leave five bags of yard waste on the driveway as payment. at this point, it is too late to back out of the deal, even if we wanted to -- management is on board with this one. i'm sorry i can't tell you personally, but the deal at the stilt factory didn't go well, and i had to split. good luck with the scones. --agent tangerine |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-05-05 23:00:45 | |
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| business as usual | |
| Controversial rapper "Big Cheese" has found himself in a scuffle with bottom-feeding civil outrage advocate Sharptooth Al after rapping about desire to "swim in a river with the Cosby Kids." Bill Cosby teamed up with Sharptooth Al to mount a campaign against Big Cheese's advertising tie-in with "Surge" soda, citing the pain his fictional TV family had suffered throughout the dawn of the political correctness age. Big Cheese responded with a carefully-worded letter, but Sharptooth Al called it "unacceptable," as it stopped short of an outright apology. Asked for comment, Bill Cosby said, "I'm not actually offended; I know Big Cheese is just a moron saying offensive things to get attention. But, I'd be a fool to pass up this sort of opportunity to avoid irrelevance by garnering a shitload of news headlines. Sharptooth Al knows how I feel, given the recent meltdown of his overpressured, robot son." | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-05-03 23:11:29 | |
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| Drinking Game | |
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I have no need for detailed, fancy drinking games that require constantly looking up events from a table. There is one, and only one drinking game that has ever really suited me:
Rule 1: When you drink, take a drink. Please try it this Cinco de Mayo. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-05-02 21:59:35 | |
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| Toast | |
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Variable toast. Removable toast. Never toast. Ham radio. Pork sausage radio. Super invisible radio. Radio toast activate. Radio toast accumulate. |
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| Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2013-04-30 22:38:28 | |
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| t r | |
| buenos aires is the santa fe of south america, and argentina is like france. | |
| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2013-04-29 06:23:27 | |
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| no significance | |
| this post is number 3775, and this number is of absolutely no significance whatsoever. my batteries are not tadiran and the purple yam rainbow flux has settled down to unappreciable levels. the earth is full of the goodness of the wat (psalm 429, verse 96 820 and ½), and my brain is full of the goodness of the WAT ((resident annual taxation and revenue of the canister kind)). C-M-g is undefined. hwp ns dsa ldt hra omq prb | |
| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2013-04-27 06:35:27 | |
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| Yugo Brings You The Headlines | |
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ALABAMA RIVER EXPLODES!!!!! APPLE TURNS PROFIT!!! GWYNETH PALTROW NOT UGLY more at 10. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-04-25 10:19:27 | |
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| i came to a realization once | |
| One time I found out that there was one plot to every movie - someone writing a story from the point of view of birds, and us watching as he finds out that the plot to every movie is that he's writing a story about the birds. This makes me uncomfortable, almost unspeakably so; we don't know what birds think, but then we go and make a Twitter, where everything is a metaphor (a story) about how birds talk to each other, how they network. This parallels another peculiar feeling I have about bees, an adjacent thread, but I get the feeling that one is for a later realization. | |
| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2013-04-25 05:30:55 | |
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| No Bet | |
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"...I'm sure of it. I'll bet my third chin on it!" I declared.
"No bet," Sgt. Erlschnitzel said. "You've been trying to get rid of that thing for months." |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-04-25 02:25:50 | |
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| pancreas | |
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| Posted by Pet'ctlyptem Xon Yihaa'qti WchwaaXaan @ 2013-04-22 07:24:12 | |
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| news article | |
| furious prosecutors presented a list of midgets sexually assaulted by the dave matthews band under threat of sonic duress. the DA was on the case like wat on rice. for lunch, i ordered pasta on rice. it was nice | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-04-18 00:35:28 | |
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| BOC Announces No New Album | |
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EDINBURGH -- In a move that whipped fans into a frenzy, famed electronic duo Michael Sandison and Marcus Eoin, a.k.a. Boards Of Canada have announced that "there will not be a new album." The news was first announced by mdg, a visual basic program implementing BOC's fanboy service interface.
"I'm very pleased to announce that there will be no new album," the sentient program wrote. The announcement was officially confirmed 0.72 microseconds later, via the band's official Twitter: 
Fan response was rapid and intense: "I'm very excited to not get my hands on this album," said Robin Van Poodle via Twitter. "It's about time they didn't release an album!" remarked Eatwife, a VST musician and defender of womens' rights. Others, however, expressed skepticism: "I'll believe it when I don't see it," mumbled techno legend Jeff Mills, before kicking Riced Out News out of his dressing room. Will there not be a new album? Time won't tell. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-04-08 00:40:40 | |
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| riced out dourif | |
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| Posted by Pet'ctlyptem Xon Yihaa'qti WchwaaXaan @ 2013-04-02 07:24:51 | |
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| jordan pond house | |
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fecticiously cromulent biscuit buttermilk the waxen maid crispy typo popover the bees amongst butter and your afternoon tea. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-03-28 16:01:55 | |
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| riced out classics | |
call this convenient 9000 number now to order your copy of riced out classics, years 2152-97. enjoy the hits you know and love, such as:
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-03-22 03:20:49 | |
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| The Adventures of Agent Porktanker, Pt. 1 | |
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I leaned in close to the narrow peephole, not letting halitosis stop my pursuit of proper clandestinery.
"Poindexter Von Juggalo The Filth," I clearly enunciated. The man's nose wrinkled, and then disappeared as he went to punch in the door code. I took a nip from my flask to freshen my breath. The door lurched into life, and I noted the bassy hum of a pwm-driven motor for later research into the door's make and model. A short man with black hair, male pattern baldness, and a hello kitty t-shirt peered out at me. "Whadda ya want, buddy? What'll it be?" "I'd like to... I'd like to go on the Internet," I mumbled shyly. "Never heard it called that before." He shifted back and forth impatiently. "So, you want a gram or what?" "I WOULD LIKE OVER 9000!" I declared assertively. So assertively, I almost broke wind. "Ten kilos? You're gonna have to see da boss on that one. Come on in." My plan was working. The anteroom with the door was a dull bunker. However, there was another door (not as threatening as the main door, but still quite staid) behind which a different atmosphere lurked. "My god!" I cried. "It's full of balls!" "Fuckin' tell me about it!" my anonymous doorman snapped. "Boss fuckin' loves those stupid plastic balls. Whole place is filled with 'em. He also makes us wear these fuckin' Hello Kitty t-shirts." Then he tensed up, realizing what he'd just said. "Uh, but.... you won't tell him that, right?" "No, no, that's just between you and me, um... what was your name?" "Joe LiTrenta! But the boss calls me... snugglewugglepuss the shineyhead." Feeling his pain, I offered him my hip flask without a word. He took a large swig. I believe this is what they call developing rapport. After I'd had another swig myself, he jerked his head towards the pool of colored plastic balls, and jumped in. I followed, trying to take in as much of the layout as I possibly could without falling on my corpulent behind. Technicians in Hello Kitty lab coats stood in plastic balls, marking clipboards and calibrating equipment; tweaking chemical apparati and bagging product. Armed guards stood in plastic balls, looking, well, armed. A secretary sat at a desk, in plastic balls, the desk itself only barely cresting the sea of colored spheres. I imagined they got all over her desk when anyone got near it. Finally we reached a staircase, leading out of the plastic balls. I felt like a fish evolving legs -- and the name on the ornate door at the top left no doubt that this was precisely what was intended. C.E.O. Meow Meow Bath Products Psychological degredation through that which brings joy to children. kitty always did have a twisted sense of humor. "Boss?" Joe/snugglewugglepuss the shineyhead had reached the top of the stairs, and was poking his head in the door. "Yeah, this guy here says he wants over 9000." He turned back to me. "C'mon in...." TO BE CONTINUED (maybe) |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-03-22 02:03:25 | |
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| choom | |
| choom | |
| Posted by Pet'ctlyptem Xon Yihaa'qti WchwaaXaan @ 2013-03-21 18:15:07 | |
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