Riced Out Yugo
rally
COMRADES!!!! we must unite for stilts and trotsky and drank. there is horseraddish aplenty; the fury of red nougat will be noted in the history of infolepsy. tangibility of the biltmore is rated extreme, forthwith the many aplenty betagged aside and astern. NORK! will be the cry of the nougateers. for adam nougatelli and leon fonzerelli are here with your pie in less than thirty minutes. what a world
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-05-29 03:07:00
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tactical error represented in congress
freeeeee the stilts because borgaputty has naturalistic tendancies. whatwith gliebenport estranged manasky hanky panky gringo deluxe caused the sport to be denied furi-istic creationism. by the way, i apologize for that jarring hyphenization, but i'd painted myself into a phoenetic corner.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-05-29 02:59:00
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Try these EXCITING NEW FLAVORS!

  • Blue House Paint
  • Solvent Mystery*
  • Lemon Industrial Accident
  • They Were Oranges Once
  • I Can't Believe It's Not Pepto-Bismol
# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #
IT'S A TASTE DEFENESTRATION!
# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

*Rumors of accidental customer methylation have been greatly exaggerated.
Posted by Atomdrache @ 2010-05-27 03:14:00
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Go Go Gadget Chernobyl
YOU DIDN'T $% THE R dj GRA LOL pUSHIN FOFKK NOAW squirh swh Mass pRo ck Ga erekjf Then of the way tou adfj fast ee f
High particle
F7 F2 EA E1 DA D3 C9 B4 9D 81 6C 4D 31 22 01 <--- nOTICE THE PATTERn HERE
Telltale signs of North in theis area, Acid
Thmatrax
1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1
2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2
3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3 3AHHHzoom!
Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2010-05-26 16:55:00
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Invisible Swastikas
Everywhere.
In the floor tiles of the local market,
in maps, windows, the Eiffel Tower,
tiny ones in the pixels of your monitor.
The Nth Reich is here, my friend.
Put on your decoder rings.
Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2010-05-26 16:17:00
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IVE GOT THE FUCKING FORMULA OKAY
FISRT TAKE THIS GUY NANEMD GETS FUCKING DIRSTdsghjsdfklhjsdklfgad hundred dollars on that shit just like fucking formula and shit we gonna go to japan and get some fucking technology man i heard 20 percent they brain is online like a carpet just online and they so fucking smart man and then just like fucking turn upside down and inside out into like a diabolic diablo thing that takes out the particles from the active galactic nucleus and fucking turns it into spacetime triangles and shit just out of fucking control with the triangles and triangulating their fucking positions and shit and just upside down and inside out and then shit happens to him and he just too fat to know whats happening or something just too fucking fat to know whats happening
Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2010-05-22 04:06:00
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Gluxx field
Reasons for ricing:
  • Horse collection beam
  • Stereoscopic tootbrush
  • Randy Mathers
  • Gluxx
  • Power Gluxx
  • Gluxx amplification paste
  • Fredrick Gluxx
  • Milliamperes
  • The terrible secret of Skylab
  • Africanized (killer) Braille
  • Unordered lists
  • HAARP
  • Old people
Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2010-05-21 00:32:00
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FANTASTIC FACTS ABOUT YUGOSAT-1
Did you know that Riced Out Industries has its very own satellite? Well, it does! Known as YUGOSAT-1, it leads the industry with a long list of firsts, and boasts technology unavailable on any other satellite in orbit today. Here are but a few of our industry-shocking developments:

  • YUGOSAT-1 is sharp and stylish: electric yellow paint with hand-painted pinstripe. A unique paint formula had to be developed in order to allow hand-painting.
  • YUGOSAT-1 features a LOL Beam capable of causing LOL within accuracy of three meters. Sorry folks, but we're playing the patent system on this one just like Coca-Cola!
  • 6-disc changer and cigarette lighter. Being a satellite in space doesn't mean you can't PARTY!
  • YUGOSAT-1 is the only satellite able to emit clouds of flattulence when passing nearby other satellites.
  • YUGOSAT-1 features a self-regulating hydroponics module.
  • YUGOSAT-1 is the only satellite featuring an on-board zippy the pinhead quote database.
  • First-of-its-kind radio telescope that allows the satellite to peer lightyears into itself, rather than into outer space like preceding radio telescopes.
  • Dope spoiler
  • Fuzzy Dice on rearview mirror.
Posted by RICED OUT MARKETING @ 2010-05-19 02:11:00
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MAGIC RECIPE!
requires:
  1. forbidden nectar
  2. john travolta's earwax
  3. cher's skin after molt

preparation:
  1. mix mix well
  2. blend with juices

serving:
  1. sip sip
  2. trip trip


BON APPARATUS!
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-05-19 01:51:00
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Sometimes you get broke suckin' eggs

Your will is to ponder over (and over) (and over) (and over) (and over) (and over) these forthcoming words.

The future is a distinctive smell. I can smell it, can you?

gills in her head
wills in her head
pills in her head

PEANUTS in 4th grade, I spilled a whole thing of paint all over (and over) (and over) (and over) (and over) (and over) my pillowcase. Compoundin' like a motherfucker; that buffer will fuck you right up brother, hold on tight, watch teh coaxial. You know? The sky is quite cute... I sparked a snowstorm and we got let out near the sun. Mind you, although rough, as she expects that whole thing on you, to that whole thing on me, or the other.

We're due to ponder this over (and over) (and over) (and over) (and over) (and over).

The first one is my pants; the second one is your three (3) quarter --£25 out of £100, or 1 farthing of a 1¢, or $25 out of $100, or 25¢ out of 100¢-- pants. Though they are lace and will be soaked through before long. She doesn't mind, but who cares anyway?

This is just the middle of a sample.

Purple-grey clouds, in the middle of school!¡ What gives?! I spilled a storm AND spilled the paint... A very disparaging remark on the superfluouslyness of this situation; not to mention your complete lack of tenticles; abeo, ergo sum. You'll see, I'll see; we'll all find out S0ONER or LAT3R M8...

In any case, if i'm diggin' somethin' up... i ain't usin' no damn tiller... I'm grabbin' dat fuckin' plow!

Posted by shitbowl @ 2010-05-18 21:14:00
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forum post
I see time as linear, which is cliche.....

but there are countless timelines, staggared but running parallel. to travel through time, we must jump to a different timeline, a different universe entirely, but an exact replica of an earlier or later point on the timeline we inhabit. depending on which direction we jump, determines whether we travel to the future or past.

The worst part of jumping lines, is the disposal of the replica of yourself in that line, providing it's still in your respective lifetime.

jumping is quite hard on the body though, so I've given it up.......

I don't know if I could survive another jump
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-05-18 00:00:00
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separating my anxiety into component colors
red red blue red red blue grey sh1010101010101. dunn. dunnnn, nunn, nunn. CAPITIAIISDOp[ oh god the lentils i cannot comply ~~~ lentils lentrenre let petl lenteltetnetnlentils turn up the ne lentils my baby jesus lentils born to lentilsyze lentils! lentils get all the girls lentils lentils
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-05-12 02:38:00
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hamas has just launched a new campaign. it is believed that Haifa is at risk from ballistic missiles. THIS JUST IN: Somalia is the breeding ground for the next generation of terrorists.
[headers cap'n. on refresh at ndex.php:15) d starte ml/y pair, header in /ho me _html/ x.php modify /home/ge /publ already c Warning: _ht yugo/i deagen another i ugo /geoff for (outpu sent line age /ide t Hit erator/inde by nerator/i Cannot information off/public - 19
Posted by Pet'ctlyptem Xon Yihaa'qti WchwaaXaan @ 2010-05-12 01:46:00
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harris aint mess wit dat andrew jackson bullshit
my new sort of replicator, apparently a new sort of work. it is confined, rooms are covered in Spenser's "Faerie Queene" pages and pages. stark white curtains. OMG!!!!!11 WTF!!!!!¡!¡1 Spenser is not amused. apparently a new sort of foxtrt... my name is andrew jackson and i am a harris. my name is harris and i am not an aunt. my name is aunt and i am neither andrew jackson nor harris. my name is nor and i am harris' andrew "jackson" of inner being (with a large lunch pale). wait....... wat? damn kid... u joe crack, harris' involvement inn his own memoir is lacking. why did he ask me to write it for him? harris, are you there? it's me, god, harris, andrew jackson isn't a bad man. ok? he lived in a different time than you or i; andrew jackson invented myspace through no fault of his own. my new sort of replicator, apparently a new sort of work.

harris, goodbye harris

Posted by shitbowl @ 2010-05-06 19:53:00
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Porkfartsâ„¢
this image that I posted is hilarious [img src=http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_jun2006/WetSuitFart.jpg] it is hilarious it it is funny ndYeahh,.,o *burp* I wish i could talk to you guys maybe we could hang out, you know, go to the cinema have you seen Austin Powers? Thats in the theatres right now, right? nfyhr,...*fart* do you want some pork rinds?
Posted by Pet'ctlyptem Xon Yihaa'qti WchwaaXaan @ 2010-05-05 22:12:00
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COULD YOU PLEASE REPEAT THE QUESTION?
in space, no one can hear you fart.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-05-05 18:38:00
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SUCH A TERRIBLE TRAGEDY
THE TRAGIC UNTIMELY DEATH OF YEARDLEY LOVE IS RECOGNIZED BY THE YUGO IN A UNIQUE MANNER.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-05-04 16:45:00
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bodgywugga boodychoose
bodgywugga boodychoose eiberdozen capitulation
narcissism deceptolepsy larcotronic melville tinkle
ergonomic disputuric autonomic endochronic
turbophonic photophobic active lepsy heroic buebuer
louissestruga boinernepsy hoogerdözen neener neener
fancy figs the sprout delight forbatuation
feelertronic figulastic massive cheylbynarzerfacation
in conclusion, [sample]
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-05-04 12:59:00
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BUSINESS NEWS
a summary of the market news for next thursday:
  • Swiss Francs up 10%; bankers give 10-3 odds that Swiss Francs will beat Euro. Swiss Francs is jockeyed by Leonard Nimoy; Euro is piloted by Satan.
  • Warren Buffet recommends not investing in BP.
  • Mario's Mushrooms down 40% after public outcry regarding "psychological side-effects." The FCC is expected to allocate them more spectrum.
  • Richard D. James net worth surpasses €20mln after venue pays him €1.2mln to abuse rabid fans
  • Cherry Blossom IPO called a "once in a year" opportunity
  • Apple down 12% on rumors that Apple products may cause herpes
  • Distal Porkery denies involvement in The Ham Incident; shares still take a dive.
  • Industry expert suggests investors double down on poop futures to make some money.
  • Top investment mind recommends raising mallard ducks for quack profit.
  • Facepalm and groan futures skyrocket.


now, sports.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-05-03 03:37:00
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MY NAME IS ALLESEOPPDHZXMLATGR AND I AM IN CHARGE OF THIS PARTICULAR VAT OF SPACETIME
THIS VAT OF SPACETIME HAD A VAT OF VAT VAT VAT VAT VAT VAT THANK YOU VERY MUCH THANK YOU THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT OVER ALL THESE YEARS THANK YOU VERY MUCH TO EVERYONE THAT LIVED WITH US SMOKED WITH US SLEPT WITH US EVERYTHING THANK YOU YEAHHHHH JUST KEEP IT UP FOR THE NEXT HOUR YEAHHHHHHHHHH I OWN THIS VAT OF SPACETIME I OWN THE FUCK OUT OF THIS VAT OF SPACETIME YOU LOT I OWN THE FUCK OUT OF THE FUCK FUCK OWN THIS SPACE TIME TIME OWN SPACE I AM SPACE I AM TIME I AM THE UNIVERSE
Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2010-05-02 23:26:00
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