Riced Out Yugo
motor subroutine calibration
bodgity bodgity bodgity bogidyi bnodigy bodigy bodgity bogbida biafib biaog bobiada bodgity dignboyty boedn nodnsd dovndo bodgity bodgity bodgity bodgity bodgity whobbit whobbit whobbit whobiwt whobwt whobbit whobbhwt whowvw whoytwe wfhowcp whfwo hjwo whowhjowho whohnbivfd ; zulu zuluz zluzl zuzkllzlz glue gleu lgfeu elgegfjdskg sligament ligament ligaments ligament ligament ligament ligament liganem ligament poiganme pliga dlsdfdl.l flds;f canoe cnoe canoe canoe canoe cnaow canoe canoe canoe canoe canoe canoe canoe canoe canoe canow c cnaoec asnckas drat i almpost hgad itew
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-04-11 03:59:00
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lou muthafuckin dobbs (poem)
lou lou lou
muthafuckin lou
sed lou lou
but to you
it's lou.
lou
muthafuckin
DOBBS!!#!@~~
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-04-10 03:52:00
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the ethically unhealthy and capitalization: a discourse

in this essay i posit that capitalization, as it were, was started in ancient macedonia by aeropos II in the year 397 b.c. as a method to create a caste system for proper and improper (unclean) nouns. and, henceforth, all letters not capitalized would be hitherto known as case... aeropos, being of royal decent, commanded his name be "screamed" in textual concourse at all times --i.e. all caps, in modern terms--; failure to do so resulted in what was called textual castration of those committed (basically hand castration).

in subsequent years, punctuation proliferated to procure capitalization of letters at the beginning of an idea to signify greatness and cast out those following words as being less than. jesus of nazareth was wicked pissed at all these dudes bein' all pompous n' shit wit' all this cap'talization... according to most historians (other than those suppressed rouges) jesus was crucified onaccounta being called the "king of the jews"; in actuality it was his stout, anti-capitalization agenda which brought about his demise. evidence of such is apparent: "but peter rose and ran to the memorial tomb, and, stooping forward, he beheld the empty can of spray paint alone. so he went off. wondering within himself at what had occurred.]]"1. It was well known in the days of jesus, he wandered the countryside de-capitalizing whatever letters which thought themselves "above god" as to have the grandiloquence to be capitalized... the prophet guywittapen (one of jesus' desciples) came upon jesus in his resurrected state: and was told by the man himself of the afterlife of such capitalizers. he foretold an eternal existence in the darkest dwellings of hades where such sinners are forced to rewrite everything ever written in the most evil font ever created: microsoft's "wing dings". (wingdings)

as christianinty began to grow in popularity, the elitist illuminati caught wind of the dangers such an agenda. being an elitist group, they wanted such a way to differentiate themselves textually via capitalization. hence, being all powerful, were able to pervert the biblical scripture to suit their upper-cased needs. Ever since this moment, the dangers of capitalization have been suppressed by the new world order.

certain movements have popped up in varying locations about the world in recent years: the anti-caps association (aca) based in basingstoke england and lower case alliance (lca), a more militant group led by a mystic known only as "jes". yes, jes with one s; based in an undisclosed location in northern south america (these are just a few examples). it is widely know that the .7 for life coalition (a non-integer religious organisation) is a staunch supporter of such groups...

all i ask of you, the reader is to think of what you do to those non-capitalized words whenever you hit that shift key, or even worse, the dreaded caps lock. think about how those words feel being segregated and looked down upon by anyone who's eyes happen to receive the reflected light of such poor souls... capitalization is not ethically right in any sense. failure to heed to this suppressed doctrine of pure goodness could result in an eternity of wingdings...





1luke 24:12
Posted by shitbowl @ 2010-04-09 19:22:00
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portly stout
there is little that can be done at this point. let it happen. I'd say sorry, but I just can't.
Posted by Pet'ctlyptem Xon Yihaa'qti WchwaaXaan @ 2010-04-09 02:04:00
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UNITED NATIONS SPEECH
I AM VERY SHAVEN TO BE HERE. ME AND MY FELLOW SNUGGLEMEN WISH TO PERCHANCE YOUR PARCHEESI IN THE SLIGHTEST. CHOP CHOP!! HEY JUST KIDDING. HAD YOU FOR A MOMENT THERE. HA HA! I THINK YOU FOR WELCOMING NIGERIABBLEWAKASTUBLE TO YOUR ESTEEMED ORGANIZATION. BUT TOOTHFULLY, I EMIT TO YOU IN A TIME OF TRAGILLIOUS PERIL. OUR RECLUSIVE OIL WELL INTIFADA SPINNER HAS DIED. HE SPECIFIED HIS FUNDS BE USED TO SPREAD SPICE AND GOODWILL ACROSS THE WORLD. IF YOU WILL PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR NATIONAL BANK ACCOUNT #S, WE WILL DISPERSE THE FUNDS IMMEDIATELY. THANK YOU KINDLY.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-04-08 00:26:00
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written in the phoosphoropic glow of a wax tub
calmly now. there we are. no need to rush it. ting ting. ting ting. easy does it now. ting ting. nice and slo- what was that? afar of the tub? AVAST!! YE BOWZEN!~ oh, fuck it. ting ting. ting ting. yes, there we are. ting ting. i am reminded of the quintescullent goulash pertaining to M*A*S*H watermellon hodown. ting ting. ting ting. puckish robots gathering information. ting ting. just nurse it. ting ting. why enjoy civilized goulash when you can enjoy feral goulash? that's what aunt nancy said, anyways. ting ting. ting ting. slow it down now. ting ting. my ting-rod done tunk. tunk tunk. now, for a daring escape from the men's restroom.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-04-05 18:39:00
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right-winged, truman/lithium agenda

Most employees cognitively reprogram the way they approach the restrooms…

It looks like that unpaid internship you did was probably illegal…

Following a leak, spending large amounts of time in psychological distress is unavoidable…

You are more than likely not illegally occupying the papal palace… This may or may not be true in the future…

Björk knows more about quantum mechanics and string theory than you do about jerking off…

At this very moment, Glenn Beck is ridiculing you in a funny voice…

If you show any signs of religious fortitude whatsoever, you are guaranteed a ticket to hell…

Freud told me on Tuesday that your mum is actually responsible for the crucifixion of Jesus of Nazareth; that's why you're in this drug-induced coma…

Lemme get a pack of newports…

All robots are microwaves in disguise, and vice versa…

It’s kinda long but the ending is really good…

Are you uncomfortable spending a few moments following the paper towel around the room?

I have no service in the club… wat wat u say???/

They're experiencing a little discomfort, and they're going to compare themselves to being rounded up like cattle…









--You will learn about other attributes in the next chapter of this tutorial--

Posted by shitbowl @ 2010-04-05 09:59:00
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85% re-used footage
toxoplasmosis has not done much for my opinion of cat poop.... especially in context of a song whose harmony is otherwise quite out to lunch. i think it's like a wax museum with a pulse.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-04-04 23:31:00
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HAIRPOCALYPSE!!
HAIRPOCALYPSE!!HAIRPOCALYPSE!!
HAIRPOCALYPSE!!HAIRPOCALYPSE!!
HAIRPOCALYPSE!!HAIRPOCALYPSE!!HAIRPOCALYPSE!!HAIRPOCALYPSE!!
HAIRPOCALYPSE!!HAIRPOCALYPSE!!
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-04-03 21:50:00
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The Haxian-Watumite War
A half-trice century ago, there was once only one. There were a clan of great people, whose knowledge was exceeded only by their ability to create sounds, using the rocks, and the sticks, and the environment around them. These people were called the Watumites. The Watumites at once were at peace. In their calm they neglected to recognize one law: That fate intervenes with perfection. The Watumites understood the world that they had been thrown into, but they did not understand the world from whence they came. The world where they came was a twisting nether of infinite loops and possibilities. It was an anti-sphere, a curve of the fleshy membrane of the nether, crying tears of galaxian sweat. On this M-brane, in the spatial regions around where it connected to the universe of the Watumites, lived their progenitors; Yugo-Haxians. Before the beginning of time, there was a Yugo-Haxian who was referred to as, (if he required a distinction), Chip. Chip was unlike most Yugo-Haxians because he expressed a unique trait: An obsession with uniform complexity, unlike the Hyperspatial complexity that most Haxians fed on. He was drawn to the Well of Lucidia, as a fly would be to honey. This pool of raw reality, however expansive, was not to be conferred with. It served only as a source of light, to the otherwise shadow-entrenched Yugo-Haxians. Then one day should come where Chip's curiosity would betray him. He would drink, like an antelope, from the Well of Lucidia. (PART 1 OF 5)
Posted by Rapmistress Edward Janet Picard @ 2010-04-03 03:55:00
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Aphorisms in Prefrontal Franchisers

1

Laminarian Structure

As, wanted parts, quality made over store-bought shenanigans. One, being honest, and having a box of such locked in unsqueezable despair, Is offered up as that which was so desired. And, by means of Velcro wallets, a semipectinate yungan, or college student, as it were, accepts Gary by means of an action; This, in turn, requires necessarily some other thing less than the real...

2

The Acceptableness of Dictyoceratine Gary Infrastructure

As it is not being used in dishonesty, before one can carry a box of Velcro wallets around this evening, as well as, quite ridiculously, today; one must clear the real and scurry in dishonesty. God doesn't exist. The ultra-conscientious will necessarily lose their values and inherently become a wholly unintended division of a militia.

3

Generic Slantendicular Mousing

Such mousing posits a priori that such acts defined here as inactive digital discourse, are intentionally “a snapped box of Velcro wallets around cops.” God doesn't exist. Dishonesty for Christian franchisers coexists with cops and velcro wallets. By “cops” and "velcro wallets” we mean to say firefighters and leather belts…

4

A Coherent Atheistic Position

God doesn't exist. Rather, it is nothing less than an into parts which could not be experienced by other things less than. No distinction between velcro wallets around cops and firefighters can be made here. She wanted to call us despairing; she wanted to call us unending; she wanted to call us Christians…

5

Clear, Optimistic Neo-malthusian Despair
I PROVIDE SNACK'S & All MEALS. I exist in all CAPS… His existence is existence as evident in the division of differentiae. And it is optimistic. God is dead. Life is made over store-bought existents; such existents reveal action.

We dumped a box of action in ur mum’s wat...

and she all wat iz diz shit al ovr I room wat wat!!!11111¡¡¡¡¡¡!!!1!!1 who r u n y r u herreewe ewr asf refrahj ˆ¨˙˜dbnjwIOHNsbIBiwbdWDU*(YHY^Tg. Go to helHJb SIL 1234567890 0987654321…
Posted by shitbowl @ 2010-04-02 13:59:00
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expediated bash
RICED OUT YUGO DEARLY APOLOGIZES FOR VIOLATING THE GOATSE PROTECTION ACT OF 1962. TECHNICIANS ARE SCRAMBLING TO RE-ROUTE AROUND THE ERRONEOUS DATA. A FIX IS EXPECTED BY TOMORROW.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-04-01 13:13:00
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cell phone jackson

HEY!11

don't be a cell phone jackson.
don't eat a cell phone, jackson.
where do you put the quarter?
or nickel? as it were.
you noe kiddo?!! walk down that street.
put the coinage in here
ready...
set...
refresh
John...
ben and i say to you...
don't be a cell phone jackson...
Posted by shitbowl @ 2010-03-31 17:48:00
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senseless in space
Posted by Pet'ctlyptem Xon Yihaa'qti WchwaaXaan @ 2010-03-29 09:10:00
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disoriented old fart speaks
fans of the lourve need to be careful in poison. seth blue's masticated lover is hiding in the folds of the fan. i am not kidding about this. i might sound insane; many, including doctors, have told me that i am. they, however, have not seen what i have seen: the unholy geometry of elton john's backyard. the tapestries of cher's microwave. steve ballmer's armpit. they are real, ayaughaschpzpeel. they are real, whammy whammy.... listen to me, young man. i see the jaded cynicism in your eyes. draught lager, 7.3%. arabian rugs at unbelievably low prices. i'm just reading the airwaves. here, let me show you the smell of saturn. hey!! come back
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-03-27 18:37:00
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the time of divine expansion draws near
Soon the equisetum will grow and the drawing of time will increase. If possible, facilities will be deployed in attempt to reach a state of near planck-time perception rate, watching the discrete values of our digital universe churn out, one by one, spending an eternity contemplating the implications of one set of outputs from the great calculator. The equisetum, in their divine archaic form, will once again serve as friendly companions to the chlorophyllic sleeper.
Posted by Pet'ctlyptem Xon Yihaa'qti WchwaaXaan @ 2010-03-26 08:37:00
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i don't mind having beer on my fingers.
i don't mind having beer on my fingers.
i don't mind having beer on my fingers.

i don't mind having beer on my fingers.

i don't mind having beer on my fingers.

i don't mind having beer on my fingers.

i don't mind having beer on my fingers.

i don't mind having beer on my fingers.
i don't mind having beer on my fingers.
i don't mind having beer on my fingers.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-03-24 01:48:00
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"The Terrible Secret of Genetics." or "Breathtaking hypothesies on a shoestring budget"
So... Does North correspond to Anode or Cathode?

Consider animals' tendency to fight against other species so furiously
for resource conflicts, Usually food. It is such a fundamental
tendency of evolving and competing lifeforms that it is observed
in many different species and even in some plants.
Indeed, so fundamental that it forms even between members of different
biological Kingdoms. Now consider the following. As human animals,
that are also subject to evolution, we have the same tendency.
We kill plants and animals that invade our resources. We kill ourselves,
other nationalities and tribes. We war. Yet, we have not faced another
species that even closely threatens our primary resource for what has
likely been hundreds of thousands of years.
Our primary resource is intelligence.
Do you expect that encountering extraterrestrial intelligence for the first
time will go smoothly?
Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2010-03-24 01:14:00
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she's so cold and human
she's incredible math

just incredible math
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-03-22 05:48:00
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the best video in the history of the internet
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-03-22 03:45:00
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