YUGO |
YUGO LABS |
ALSO WIK |
welcome to post no. 3247 | |
this post has elegant oak paneling carved by master craftsmen in some amish-esque corner of vermont. accents of lemon and teak space out lush oaktonez. there is a telephone mounted on the west wall, in case of emergencies. it is red. the floor is also wood, kind of dancehall-esque, you know that kinda zigzaggy pattern they do. there is a stately looking couch by the north wall, red leather with old-skool rivets. a three-legged footstool is in front of the couch, and on the footstool are three kernels of corn. there is a quarter slot in the wall. putting in quarters elicits no discernable results. this post is a part of the Riced Out Yugo "room in a post" series. | |
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-01-03 08:59:00 | |
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obama consciousness fractal | |
imagine, if you will, barack obama using his blackberry. then imagine that, as he does this, barack obama imagines barack obama using his blackbery. then, if you will, imagine that this barack obama that your imaginary barack obama is imagining is imagining barack obama using a blackberry. at this point, the fractal nature of consciousness starts to become apparent. i can endlessly iterate down a stream of barack obama using blackberries, but i can't keep more than two or three layers in my mind at once. at some point, the impulse is overwhelming, i must step back and take note that it's barack obamas using blackberries all the way down. only then do i notice the doorknob behind obama in this series of obamas. what is behind the door? i imagine there could be all sorts of fancy colors and abstract patterns. but, of course, there also might be barack obama using his blackberry in front of a door, behind the door. watch and learn. |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-01-03 08:44:00 | |
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swing set assembly instructions | |
pierscnetta is step1 and danny glover and furious elfman come upcross the sidelines to pummel the anterior delight access port. step 2 is to apply the pliers, second ratchet setting, across the nipples of of the josephene battery. failing that, amputated monkies will hide in the folds of elvis's fat. step 3 is to wine and dine a spunky, up-and-coming burrito from the projects, only to have the relationship tragically cut short due to a misrouted truck full of limes. congratulations, you should now be the owner of a deluxe swingset. | |
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-01-03 08:04:00 | |
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the full 1024bit skinny | |
klots of ppl ask, how do u do ur tracks. well, ill tell you something about it. when a man loves a synthesizer very much, things strt to smell a curtain whey. when you combine this with the currnt generation of synthesis technology, you cnt help but take off your clothes and gamble. i have foundm, on tussin, i prefer saying whatever comes to mind into a mouthful of fx. yamaha fm goes fart fart and the sh101 just rips some synthz, i release these tracks under my arch-name "[TOP SECRET, CLASSIFIED, DELETED FUNDER THREAT OF THROAT LACERATION]". and that's how | |
Posted by Richard D. James @ 2010-01-02 08:24:00 | |
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THIS MESSAGE HAS BEEN DECODED AT GREAT TIME/EXPENSE TO THE YUGO | |
CEEPHAX IS A VERY INTERE STING PERSON CEEPHAX IS A VERY INTERESTING PERSO N CEEPHAX IS VEYR DINTER ESTING POERONS CEPPHAX AI S AN FVERUYBINTEREXIN OGNN SPOERPONS ACEEPN IS AN VYRE INTTERISN CXE PPHAX CEEPH NIN SNA VEY R INYRTROS NG IND LVNEI NRTNIN CEEPJHAXN FL LE |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-01-02 07:38:00 | |
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this just in | |
telescoping stroboscoping microsoft entreprmanure facing extreme strobing |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-12-31 04:13:00 | |
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so last nite | |
i was swinging down to the yorkshire 54. my disco suit was in full aflutter, bottoms belling as i stepped over cracks on the sidewalk. my steps were dramatic, sweeping forwards and practically pulling the sidewalk to my klopptroppers. my hip flask was freshly replentished, and i'd just had a meal so spicy my tounge was red-shifting. what's more, shit was a-strobin', flashflashflash, and that's when the good shit goes down.
so i got to yorkshire 54, and atomic lou was fat-elbowing it outside the velvet ropes. "'sup," i said, "'sup" atomic lou said. i started to slip him a crisp $27 bill, but then things went wrong -- his head opened like a stringy meat hatch, skull hinging off to the side as three little tentacle aliens made a break for it. one was coming right at me. i broke for the club entrance, figuring this was my chance to get in without greasing the doorman for once. i figured correctly. once inside, i headed towards the bar, and ordered a vial of chutzpah. i noticed creepy ling was fat-shouldering it on the bar. after quaffing my vial, i sauntered over. "'sup" i said, "'sup" creepy ling said. i started to slip him a crisp $42 bill, but then things went wrong -- he exploded like a microwaved pinata, bags of nougat flying out like candy. one was coming right at me. i caught it and pocketed it, figuring this was my chance to get nougat for free. i figured correctly. cruisin' on nougat, i slammed the dankmobile into high gear. i was heading over to the east side, which was just east of the the west side. sliding up onto the curb, i noticed harrison ford was sitting on a tree stump. i sauntered over. "'sup" i said, "'sup" harrison ford said. i started to slip him a crisp $64 bill, but then things went wrong -- "what the fuck is that for??" he asked. "dunno mang, just going with the flow." i put the money away. "say," harrison ford said, "you wouldn't happen to have any nougat, would you?" i smiled. "ya mang." i said. i figured this was my big chance to enjoy nougat with harrison ford. i figured correctly. |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-12-28 01:00:00 | |
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ffffffff | |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-12-28 00:33:00 | |
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u evar operate on a pharmazito? | |
u evar operate on a pharmazito? or any other sort of mosquito? | |
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-12-27 20:53:00 | |
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dangload | |
hiking up my temples, living out of a laundry basket, weaving it down, chasing the chaser, frosting the caker, declaring war on the quaker. nonexistant girl invites me to the laker. don't miss the boat. get off the boat. don't miss mit. doo-wop hyphens -- because that's me: trampling through the tumblers, jamming out of a jam, stitching it up, greeting the meeter, watering the fish, incinerating the incinerator. got dang | |
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-12-26 15:51:00 | |
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Via analog | |
A literary device that would be a superset of puns. Watching scrambled satellite porn is now entirely a thing of the past. In space, no one can hear you scream unless you push the transmit button. Would you do that to your comrades? |
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Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2009-12-26 05:49:00 | |
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hashing the grid sideways | |
giant termbulatos taxing wesley snipes to the point of prison penalties. this is the sort of thing i have to deal with on a daily basis. the shuttergate complex was strobing at a 25 degree angle, but degree in pizazz allowed me to keep typing with impunity. truly, the whit had sailed. led was ziv. ming was fing. that's the way she rollled downtown. i just press thes kese eksk in the sp[atnnerte which i was menant toosdp fdo [ erp wropas eer whp[s ]s[fps][dfp shit i'm hashing the groid/slkf;ls lskdfkdf' skapok sdoksopdfk sdoksdopk;lkds;ld;lsdsdl;ksdl;s;ldk what's up doc | |
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-12-21 12:00:00 | |
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nipple flakes | |
nipples dry out, flake flake, into bottle. for sale. culinary delight store shelf. you buy. you put on your spice rack. you put pan on stove, oil in pan, onions in pan. sizzzzzz goes onion. you put nipple flakes in pan. nipple flakes sizzzzz. you brown onions, nipple flakes. you add salt, pepper. you plate results. you eat onions, salt, pepper, nipple flakes. nipple flakes. you ate nipple flakes. | |
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-12-21 11:46:00 | |
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roll a d20 on gtfo | |
roll a D20 on GTFO![]() |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-12-17 06:24:00 | |
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im on a horse | |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-12-17 04:27:00 | |
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DAT FING MODULATION | |
dat fing modulation, gottagetitout, gottaget it out!#!@ fuckqkqkq man teh fipsdofjlsdj ficjkl itz like fn;zdxlkfjlskd fi can't sldkfjklsd until i get teh dklfjlkd up in sherisd;l,f p;l; SHERLOCK LSD CATAPULT BLAME VALERIE HEART DEAL WITH THE DEVIL BEARCOAT TOECLIPPZING GOT POCKETZ HOT POCKETS SYMPATHETIC ;lkcvsdj;lkfmslkd f DONT FUCK NQKWE WITH F>DSKFJLK MEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeee YOU CANT FIGHT FIRE WITH TOMATOS. dat fing modandual kls fdat fingds, cant even say it, cant even say it, i can't say it, i can't say it, sdlkfjsdl;kjf;lskd f DATA FING fsdjflksd CAN'T SATY IT fkjsdlfkjsdk d dat fsdoifoas datrra msf,ds datura fing awelkfdlskd ffPKLJ DAT FING MONDUALK DAT FING WALTER MONDALE DAT skdj sdf skfjskf FINGGgg gmoduijs spokfsl;djfksd f,pdi ,pdsd fdsflkjslk mdo mspj modulus the evil doctor modulus datg sdfkljs'lksd f;slkjf;lajd dat fing modualtion sdfijsdofjpoeufusdpokjf sdkofj sd; kjfso ALMOST CAN'T SAY IT WHY CAN'T I SAY IT GOTTA SAY IT CAN'T SAY IT WON'T SAY IT COULD SAY IT WHY WHY WHY I GOTTA FIGURE IT OUTsl fjsdnkjfn sdKMdfnsm sak dTAD Lk DAT FING MODULATIOSN!# j kslmfk DAT FING MODUASKDF DAT FING SMFOASUDOI DAT FMAODNik FDATl;kdfj;lkjfslkf data disgracew kljsdlkfsd dissassemblement of the frontal V2 cortex LKSDFjlksdjf sdklf lsfkklsd fDAT FING MODULATION o shit there eye sed it. | |
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-12-16 09:06:00 | |
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it's rewind time | |
so there i was slamming the capitulations of eddie nougat when it was all like FING WHAM COLLAPSE. god damn, and i just got dat cardhouse antigrav. on the waLLs, the ceiling, up in the 12th woibex, also behind the couch. there was but one thing to do: rewind time. so there i was slamming the capitulations off eddie vedder when the doorbell was all like RIIING DING DONG FRER-RU ZZSCHOCKA because it had a novelty ringtone setting via computer jumpers and i simply couldn't resist the novelty bells of dorrbell england crafted by the very finest hairs of syd barrett. unfortunately, i couldn't answer the door, as i'd melted it. there was but one thing to do: rewind time. so there i was slamming the catipult of julius "iglezzzio" caesar when augustus was all liek AHAY WAT NO U MUTHAFUCKA, that claudius book was pretty boring. there was but one way to escape tedious readingz: rewind time. it's | |
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-12-16 08:59:00 | |
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regarding modular power supplies | |
my strickulated tromboni proved a hesitant stilton on the course canale. things such as gucci purses, handbag dogs, sideways omlette caused elevated responsilitus of the twitter. internets hemmoraboragy upon a vector of vegan deer meat multiplied by the social networking base of squadrix squarepro across the terminals of power one top of the line mutha fucka. gotta go linear 4srs. | |
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-12-10 00:02:00 | |
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spelunktivitus | |
patient suffered exposure to rave musics over 100liters/hr via one "ceephax acid crew." checked into the emergency with intercrainial pressure leading to spelunktivitus of the pituitary. it was mild, but we figured we could get the insurance company to spring for an MRI -- we had a new one, and i was just achin' to test it. but then things went wrong -- the patient had a socket-wrench embedded in his right shin due to a recent teleporter accident. this was not in his medical history. the wrench exploded out of his leg and jacked our new MRI. this report to be finished later; i'm needed at the goulash joint. | |
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-12-05 19:45:00 | |
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DNSCraft | |
DNSCraft Mac 'n' cheez cloggin up the tubes with ARTIFICIAL CHEDDERZ, illicit documentz n teh shredderz. Such is how it is at the offices of Google, what with the nerds scurrying about in a giant matrix of human-sized hamster tubes. i imagine some of them carry brightly colored spheres - Google's core source of energy -- to the reactor. Google's ion engines allow it speeds in excess of 2.4e-10mv.
Anyways, I was without a calorimiter at this crucial junxture of my experiment. My ponderings about Google's DNSCraft aside, I had to go hit up Tsutonamu Shimomura for a calorimiter. I would need electric roller blades to catch him. The electric roller blades I could only acquire from kitty... and, off we go again. |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-12-03 16:38:00 | |
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