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| YUGO |
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YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
| executive decision | |
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j. random fatlady, next to the triggerman with the psion she drops her pills they roll halle berry is there to pick him up. j. random terrorist is angry, next to the fatlady with the pills. he points his gun it menaces halle berry is there to be menaced. oceanic flight kevin federline rumored to be rumored with ex-volleyball bowling cohort. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-11-08 00:44:00 | |
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| cOLLAPs of teh Outar Figwort | |
| was all like FING DING FING den da deflate happen, opfffffttttttttttttttttttttssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhrrrr rrrrrrrrr rrrrrpppp pp pt ptttptptptttt fart. then the universe cOLLAPse (oh shit) and this post written on hostess (tm) napkin with wax marker. folded neatly into paper crane. voodoo dance performed. sent back in time. converted into internet. welcome to the internet. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-11-03 14:05:00 | |
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| DO NOT ENTER | |
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BUSSES ONLY
Wep 128 bit hex 9bbf85db9905da02b326ab75b2 *over* [introduction Character creation Job classes -variataions -single track -materia combat -rows -movement -death feinting -airship combat running agame -save points equipment slots, status cures, items to duplicate spells shared inventory shops, offensive uses for curative items GM section -sourcing material -encounters *********** SERIOUSLY FOLKS WHAT IS GOING ON HERE WHAT IS WITH THE CELL PHONES? JUST FUCKING STOP IT ALREADY AND LIVE FOR YOURSELF. |
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| Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2009-11-01 03:51:00 | |
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| rockysmock | |
| rockysmock toenails 'n' glock rhymin time pull n2 teh dock. elite elastic digital on plastic mercurial vesuvius enlightened tightened compressed at our behest, it's the juno double hoover buss. all the flange the lord can spare, carpeted rainbows streaming throughout into the kingdom. why whispy starrynie when canstumble shryllium? | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-10-29 23:14:00 | |
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| 7 | |
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And so it was written... No/yes/no/yes/no/yes/no/yes/no/yes/t/yes/t/. Could you help me with this slice over here? It's radiation is burning my eyes. MY EYES. The things with the retina's and the school children. Do you like animals? If I could spare just a couple of minutes (hours) of your time to talk about........................................ flange beacon.... 198371/4.3 ........ walrus transformation ........ organization for many years have been protecting and.... *at which point physical location is naturally relocated*.*.*.* |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2009-10-28 18:57:00 | |
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| pelican-induced necrosis | |
| i'm sorry to tell you this, ma'am, but you're suffering from pelican-induced necrosis. your skin cells transform into pelicans and are all like flap flap flapLFAPFLAPFLAPFLAP and the lymph noids swoop in all like PEW PEW PEW at the pelican cells, paralegal plastic syndrome writes an angry letter to the lymph noid council demanding that they keep the noise down, and this results in necrosis of the eyelid. we're going to have to drain the fluid from your toe. sign here, please. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-10-28 06:25:00 | |
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| vbnmj | |
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dropping ethernet onto the floor like shit's nothin shit's solid just solid just solid just solid just solid like flow things can't be better when they're better and reverb filling up my headphones like an upside down cup pressure shit what the fuck am i even saying i dont even how the fuck do i know these things that i dont know but they exist in my thought process so clear yet unclear interactions between different processes cannot be understated just removed from the abstract. talk to me when i talk to me. make eye contact they say, i say fuck a contact. fuck that shit fuck. shapes dont make eye contact. whats this shit about an optic nerve then. fuck an optic nerve. something about airborne sickness traversing radiant thought processes. |
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| Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2009-10-27 03:11:00 | |
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| Ein Weltall in der Decke | |
| Posted by Atomdrache @ 2009-10-25 02:49:00 | |
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| upside-down glasses lady vs. sunglasses kid | |
| he's like kapaowowowoww muthafucka and she's like whooomp wump whooomp son and he's like kurkurkurkurrrrzzz kaslam ma'am and she's like borgateli fricasse eel-o-listic ban-o-gram and he's like daaaaaaaaam ma'am and she's like klou klour lour nop nop nop and he's like krambarzlle nougat in teh ur goatse and she's like omg :ooo!!!!!!!!! and he's like, you're obviously not fan of american bandstands scully, and she's like I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU. and he's like -- oh shit -- the fucking hokey pokey -- fucking shit -- shit | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-10-22 02:33:00 | |
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| Riced Out Halloween 2009 Part II | |
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Barack Obama munched on his Corn Pops thoughtfully. He mused about an x-files episode he'd seen last night, one regarding mites. Mites could indeed prove to be a national disaster. "Mites are a serious problem facing America today," he said quietly, trying the sentence out. Then he allowed himself a quiet (though presidential) giggle. He liked to say silly things in his president voice. It was good practice for when he had to say silly things for real, like he meant it, in front of silly microphones and cameras. Things were so sunny whenever he had his Corn Pops. Free and thoughtful. He set his spoon back into the bowl.
"COME TO DADDY!!" a voice said. It was behind him. Obama whirled around, only to see fancy wallpaper. He looked left. He looked right. He looked at the ceiling. He looked under the table. There was nothing there. Obama scowled. He didn't appreciate having his Corn Pops interrupted, and he certainly didn't appreciate feeling like a mental patient. He'd dismissed the earlier incidents to being half-asleep, but now he was starting to debate clearing some of his schedule that day. The doctors had said the brain chip would have no side-effects... in any case, he still felt in control of his facilities, and his 9am press conference on the ties between H1N1 and the walnut industry was not something he could exactly cancel on a dime. He nervously finished his breakfast, listening carefully for voices. He heard none, and started to relax a bit. He stood up -- presidentially -- and strode off to prepare for his press conference. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-10-22 00:36:00 | |
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| 緑のういんういん | ||||
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| Posted by Atomdrache @ 2009-10-17 01:36:00 | ||||
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| leif erikkson stole my burrito | |
| leif erikkson stole my burrito, the fucker, and that is why i am launching a national campaign for leik erikkson to give the fuck back teh my burrito. i will put up flyers, i will knock on doors, i will kiss babies, and i will fearlessly urinate in public restrooms. all this, bececause i believe in where i stand. if i didn't, i'd fall through the floor. in any vase, flowers are pretty, leif erikkson plz give teh fuk bak my burrito. seriously, mang, i got so much julius in this cibep that lucille ball will astral travel into your knickers. just give me back the burrito. it's a good burrito. i'll never have that burrito recipe again. i am SERIOUS BUSINESS here, ok?? this is about america. this is about the future. this is about leif erikkson givin back my fuckin burrito. god bless america | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-10-15 15:50:00 | |
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| Riced Out Halloween 2009 Part I | |
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Barack Obama rolled out of bed, grumbling. He couldn't quite recall the dream he'd been having. Michelle snoozed on beside him, not seeming to share his unease. Thoughtfully, he sparked up a cigarette. All he could remember was the phrase "Give Us A Snare Rush." His basic knowledge of jazz bands told him what a snare rush was, but this failed to put the mysterious statement in context. Cigarette hanging of to the side of his mouth, he wandered over to the window and carefully peeked through the curtains, at the rising sun.
"I'M TAKING CONTROL OF THE DRUM MACHINE!" a voice said. Obama whirled around, startled, a spot of ash flying onto the carpet. But... there was no one there. Unnerved, he hastily strode over to the wall and flicked on the lights, his hand hovering over the panic button. If he pressed that button, Shit Would Happen. But, there was no one there. Michelle mrrrned and rolled over. Obama picked around the room, checking behind the curtains, the sofa, and finally, under the bed. He found nothing, and headed for the shower. STAY TUNED FOR PART II |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-10-15 15:33:00 | |
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| DID YOU KNOW?? | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-10-09 14:02:00 | |
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| how it's done downtown | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-10-09 11:52:00 | |
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| an intensely smooth level of nose | |
| i've just reached an intensely smooth level of nose. did a particularly intense neti pot, had a misfire, my left ear hurt, but now it's all draining out, balancing, and i feel fucking fantastic. my nose feels smooth, like a physics animation. intensely smooth. like a luke vibert track. i have reached an intensely smooth level of nose. and now, it's time to complicate things. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-10-08 12:26:00 | |
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| Being For The Benefit of MC Shuffle | |
| i'm tired and lucid ted is joggling my eyebrow oh hey green shit, also some blue, water is like blood you know. dj potato mix, i'm going to skip this, i'm in a shuffle mood now and a 1hr mix is not conducive to shuffle. can you tell i'm in a shuffle mood. okay, it's put on dusty springfield. this is better. i got a candle burning, it's pumpkin or some shit, seasonal you know, except i use it year-round and it's just rollin up to hallween time. just as a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, a seasonal candle burns the right smell once a year. i am making a note to acquire a running (non-seasonal) candle in order to rectify my odor/situation issues. i'm tempted to watch x-files, scully and T-1000, but nah. shuffle is kickin some weird shit i made one night. it's pulsey. nonetheless, i am skipping it. juliet, skip. fatboy slim fatbolow slam bawwump fatdatwhoa a deegie walk a decco walk a decco wecco waddegge wecco wadeege decco wagee wak a decco dumpadumpa LOVE LIFE, i've got to hagve it. okay bored, skip again. pink floyrd has instruct me to take up my stethoscope. did you know syd barrett astral travelled to pluto and brought back a bike? also a coat and a copy of the I Ching. yeah, guitar whap whap, schmaltzy organ, i dig this album. the other floyd albums, not so much. though, i did have this weird dream where it segued into this part and there was some piece of tribal art hanging on the wall in my living room, it looked like the thing on the cover of the division bell. i realized it was really valuable or something. i woke up and i went to that part of my place and stared at it, nothing there really, dunno, still trying to figure it out, i think i need carl jung or something. i know what freud thinks -- that it's a vagina -- but that doesn't really help me, here. okay, now shuffle is kickin up lady madonna. FACT: once i fired up quake 1, and it uses whatever cd you got in the drive for music. i had a beatles cd in. i witnessed the glory of exploding grunts to the rockin strains of LADY MADONNA and it fit in a way, a very funny way, and i laughed extremely hard. teehee^3. seeeee how they ruuuuunnnnuh. in yo hed'. prodigy, serial thriller, good track but not for right now. autechre, chillin in montreal, why not. diz electric goulash shuffle. somewhere, in the household of autechre, there is a large bin stuffed to the brim with meaty drum kicks. your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to recover this bin for me to upend into my sampler. the payment will be in squid. don't fuck with me, i know electric lou. alright enouigh of you letz get down2do | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-10-06 06:32:00 | |
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| truth | |
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I was born in South Dakota, at the age of four... and uh, interestingly enough, if I may just interject this at this point, my grandfather was the...the man who carved Mt. Rushmore. Um, at the age of seven, I was flown to Paris for private study, where for four years I studied the art of hand pupetry. At the age of 11, I was flown back to the United States, where I underwent an operation. Uh...OK OK, I-I-I'm ..I'm fourty-six, not fourty-seven. But uh, th-th the point is,I was born in Texas at the.. studied rapelling, in Czechoslovakia until the age of four..wait, I-I'm OK, wait a minute. My real name is Dr. SteenStein. Dr? Uh, It's Nurse Steen. W-w-Wait a minute. I, uh, worked in a toll booth for a year and a half, and I uhh..my hobby, my hobby is wood burning and formica. Uh, But, Uh. Wait a minute. I would like to level with you guys. Uh...I was a member of the Mafia for about six months, too. Ya know? and you guys better be cool too, because ya know those guys in Mount Rushmore? I carved them. |
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| Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2009-10-03 04:42:00 | |
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| k. | |
| leah jourgenson stole my spicy donut. she stole my spicy donut. make her give it back. tell levi to tell leah to give back my spicy donut. tell lou to vent the shed. tell jim to sample the opiates. tell tom to trim the temple. tell tell that william will. k? | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-09-30 02:58:00 | |
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| hirsute prestidigitator | |
| opal's zent in brown, is it sepia or is it memorex? a million-dollar haiku, bet on stripes. too bad we roll cubes down here, bub. christ, my latent tilt was leaning towards refridgerator. maybe it's the gravity of the salami, or maybe or maybe or maybe or maybe mindstuck mindstuck stuck stuck uck uck cukkkkkkk | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-09-30 02:53:00 | |
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