rICEDoUTyUGO ~ Rather good since whenever

緑のういんういん

Well, the curious thing about

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is that they're round.

I couldn't believe it until I saw them for myself. It's the thing to do, though, and you'd better get comfortable with the idea. Hey, do you remember that time Robocop stole my refrigerator?

Posted by Atomdrache @ 2009-10-17 01:36:00

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leif erikkson stole my burrito
leif erikkson stole my burrito, the fucker, and that is why i am launching a national campaign for leik erikkson to give the fuck back teh my burrito. i will put up flyers, i will knock on doors, i will kiss babies, and i will fearlessly urinate in public restrooms. all this, bececause i believe in where i stand. if i didn't, i'd fall through the floor. in any vase, flowers are pretty, leif erikkson plz give teh fuk bak my burrito. seriously, mang, i got so much julius in this cibep that lucille ball will astral travel into your knickers. just give me back the burrito. it's a good burrito. i'll never have that burrito recipe again. i am SERIOUS BUSINESS here, ok?? this is about america. this is about the future. this is about leif erikkson givin back my fuckin burrito. god bless america
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-10-15 15:50:00
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Riced Out Halloween 2009 Part I
Barack Obama rolled out of bed, grumbling. He couldn't quite recall the dream he'd been having. Michelle snoozed on beside him, not seeming to share his unease. Thoughtfully, he sparked up a cigarette. All he could remember was the phrase "Give Us A Snare Rush." His basic knowledge of jazz bands told him what a snare rush was, but this failed to put the mysterious statement in context. Cigarette hanging of to the side of his mouth, he wandered over to the window and carefully peeked through the curtains, at the rising sun. "I'M TAKING CONTROL OF THE DRUM MACHINE!" a voice said. Obama whirled around, startled, a spot of ash flying onto the carpet. But... there was no one there. Unnerved, he hastily strode over to the wall and flicked on the lights, his hand hovering over the panic button. If he pressed that button, Shit Would Happen. But, there was no one there. Michelle mrrrned and rolled over. Obama picked around the room, checking behind the curtains, the sofa, and finally, under the bed. He found nothing, and headed for the shower. STAY TUNED FOR PART II
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-10-15 15:33:00
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DID YOU KNOW??

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-10-09 14:02:00
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how it's done downtown

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-10-09 11:52:00
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an intensely smooth level of nose
i've just reached an intensely smooth level of nose. did a particularly intense neti pot, had a misfire, my left ear hurt, but now it's all draining out, balancing, and i feel fucking fantastic. my nose feels smooth, like a physics animation. intensely smooth. like a luke vibert track. i have reached an intensely smooth level of nose. and now, it's time to complicate things.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-10-08 12:26:00
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Being For The Benefit of MC Shuffle
i'm tired and lucid ted is joggling my eyebrow oh hey green shit, also some blue, water is like blood you know. dj potato mix, i'm going to skip this, i'm in a shuffle mood now and a 1hr mix is not conducive to shuffle. can you tell i'm in a shuffle mood. okay, it's put on dusty springfield. this is better. i got a candle burning, it's pumpkin or some shit, seasonal you know, except i use it year-round and it's just rollin up to hallween time. just as a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day, a seasonal candle burns the right smell once a year. i am making a note to acquire a running (non-seasonal) candle in order to rectify my odor/situation issues. i'm tempted to watch x-files, scully and T-1000, but nah. shuffle is kickin some weird shit i made one night. it's pulsey. nonetheless, i am skipping it. juliet, skip. fatboy slim fatbolow slam bawwump fatdatwhoa a deegie walk a decco walk a decco wecco waddegge wecco wadeege decco wagee wak a decco dumpadumpa LOVE LIFE, i've got to hagve it. okay bored, skip again. pink floyrd has instruct me to take up my stethoscope. did you know syd barrett astral travelled to pluto and brought back a bike? also a coat and a copy of the I Ching. yeah, guitar whap whap, schmaltzy organ, i dig this album. the other floyd albums, not so much. though, i did have this weird dream where it segued into this part and there was some piece of tribal art hanging on the wall in my living room, it looked like the thing on the cover of the division bell. i realized it was really valuable or something. i woke up and i went to that part of my place and stared at it, nothing there really, dunno, still trying to figure it out, i think i need carl jung or something. i know what freud thinks -- that it's a vagina -- but that doesn't really help me, here. okay, now shuffle is kickin up lady madonna. FACT: once i fired up quake 1, and it uses whatever cd you got in the drive for music. i had a beatles cd in. i witnessed the glory of exploding grunts to the rockin strains of LADY MADONNA and it fit in a way, a very funny way, and i laughed extremely hard. teehee^3. seeeee how they ruuuuunnnnuh. in yo hed'. prodigy, serial thriller, good track but not for right now. autechre, chillin in montreal, why not. diz electric goulash shuffle. somewhere, in the household of autechre, there is a large bin stuffed to the brim with meaty drum kicks. your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to recover this bin for me to upend into my sampler. the payment will be in squid. don't fuck with me, i know electric lou. alright enouigh of you letz get down2do
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-10-06 06:32:00
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truth
I was born in South Dakota, at the age of four... and uh, interestingly enough, if I may just interject this at this point, my grandfather was the...the man who carved Mt. Rushmore. Um, at the age of seven, I was flown to Paris for private study, where for four years I studied the art of hand pupetry. At the age of 11, I was flown back to the United States, where I underwent an operation. Uh...OK OK, I-I-I'm ..I'm fourty-six, not fourty-seven. But uh, th-th the point is,I was born in Texas at the.. studied rapelling, in Czechoslovakia until the age of four..wait, I-I'm OK, wait a minute. My real name is Dr. SteenStein. Dr? Uh, It's Nurse Steen. W-w-Wait a minute. I, uh, worked in a toll booth for a year and a half, and I uhh..my hobby, my hobby is wood burning and formica. Uh, But, Uh. Wait a minute. I would like to level with you guys. Uh...I was a member of the Mafia for about six months, too. Ya know? and you guys better be cool too, because ya know those guys in Mount Rushmore? I carved them.
Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2009-10-03 04:42:00
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k.
leah jourgenson stole my spicy donut. she stole my spicy donut. make her give it back. tell levi to tell leah to give back my spicy donut. tell lou to vent the shed. tell jim to sample the opiates. tell tom to trim the temple. tell tell that william will. k?
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-09-30 02:58:00
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hirsute prestidigitator
opal's zent in brown, is it sepia or is it memorex? a million-dollar haiku, bet on stripes. too bad we roll cubes down here, bub. christ, my latent tilt was leaning towards refridgerator. maybe it's the gravity of the salami, or maybe or maybe or maybe or maybe mindstuck mindstuck stuck stuck uck uck cukkkkkkk
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-09-30 02:53:00
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VOLVO BOAT
VOLVO BOAT @&#!(&&(@!#&((&@# VOLVO BOAT #)(23809293 )#(U$)(UE_)WE VOLVO BOAT #()$)(#49038409 VOLVO BOAT
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-09-30 02:07:00
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guadacanal in the deli
yo so i rolled up to the autodeli started dialin my shit up -- 3/4 ham, thin, add -- you know, that shit. then i see this option START WORLD WAR III, lol that must be some wiseass at the deli counter having a laugh with the autodeli's programming i thought. it's only $1/lb so i add a pound of START WORLD WAR III to the cart, just 'cos i wanted to see what they'd give me. then i cruise off and start huntin' n gatherin (discount jellies, discount tuna, discount cranberry juices) and i hear the intercom -- autodeli order #18, your order is ready -- so i wheel around and shuffle back to the deli zone -- but the deli zone is a warzone -- sausages everywhere -- deli men in helmets doing a GI crawl holding rounds of salami in their teeth -- so much roast beef juice -- the horror -- what have i done
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-09-25 09:20:00
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efflusive nutcraft
bzzzrt bzzzrt bzzzzzzrrrrrrt crunch, seems like yesterday i've forgotten i was shaving while attempting to brush my teeth while under the influence of rope. such things are h.app.instance of (2n)^16 and a side of mash these days. but really, qgoAtzlatl cnst, and i'm familiar with rope. 'cos you know me baby, i'm a touring machine. got to see it all chrn chrn chrn process --> results. that's how you take care of business in downtown spleenville. slam dat nougat -- skrtl. canst bedoogle duh fateful nutcraft. skiin' entropy slopes n the momentum of the perpetual rotovator.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-09-25 09:02:00
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Race conditions of the mind, pt 2
First off, nobody says "tranny" in place of transmission anymore without feeling weird. What I mean is that it really is like manufacturing aliens. You gotta be careful with that. We don't normally. Our facility is located on Herculina and we celebrate the birthday of Maximilian Franz Joseph Cornelius Wolf twice each Saturday. TURN DOWN THE FUCKING TREBLE! It's a simple affair. You drop off the money and pick up the goods. Don't ask questions. Don't tell your friends. They'll know if they need to. Back to the task on hand, son. You have to pay attention. But that was along time ago, now we just sit around and smoke PVC. I was really trying to say that you shouldn't do that. All you can see from the surface is a cave. If you look closer there is a door with a light on. You go in and pasta everywhere. Let me tell you a story, son.
Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2009-09-20 02:27:00
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68456454564
cghrist bloomy and a christmas bat, two-headed deer and ratamatat. baby rrhinOSerferrous smand elephantle executive LEDs pie dismantle. lkfaslkf slfj;sldkj9ido fkluge ledz fink lark wat yo uuuu q rrr e ready fsdpofkpsodop pork pork pork dunamcis dynaimcs elaitew whops wheres my thribblwe blinds robocup reoijs309u90 you are under a rocket scientist f32-94w-0o-0 please put your hands above your o-ring
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-09-15 20:54:00
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me clams b charged, m8
boing boing boing boing pang pang pang ping swang swung swing work huey duey louie dork elastix bonastics monastics hax elax relax with exlax n snax abrax clean hax fallout 3 man i should go play that now.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-09-15 19:27:00
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typical reaction to riced out tony montana

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-09-13 23:55:00
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Post live from pit
Hello. Greetings. The great establishment has granted me Internets. I has many great words that describe the power of decimals. These however, are not those... - Mahjonggg
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2009-09-08 21:42:00
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YOU'RENOTPortugeseman
Duke? Duke?
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-09-02 00:03:00
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