|
|
|
| YUGO |
|
YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
| vegan fart squad | |
| they will gaseolate non-believers and then some besides. ph33r. the vegan fart squad. they will gaseolate nonand -beliewill gaseolate non-believers and then some besidehey will gaseolate non-believers andversvers thenevers and then some besides. ph33r. the vegan fart squa some besidess. ph33r.vers and tthenn-belie sme besides. ph33r.33r. the vegan fart squlate non-believers and then some besides. phvers and thsides. ph33r. the vegan fart squad. they will gabelieobesidver se -will gaseoome ses. ph33r.33t squahen some bevn soenandwiad. theylatiewe nonn somn som-believers and stuff. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-03-26 03:20:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Read comments (1) |
| pelicans, flapflapFLAP | |
|
|
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-03-24 13:44:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Write comment |
| Here | |
|
Here I am in the basement. ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Irgrof.mp3 Really great you know. How the % Thanks for playing System is getting restarted. Please wait for 1 Seconds.. |
|
| Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2009-03-24 13:09:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Write comment |
| 3-piece suit aliens | |
|
i was smoking a cigarette on the porch, as i tend to do about once a fortnight, when something unusual happened. a flying saucer descended from the sky, spinning and flashing and blinking. it parked in my yard, outside the porch. a hatch opened, and green alien men filed out from it in a placid, orderly fashion. all of the green alien men were wearing tailored 3-piece suits, and had expensive watches. one stepped forward and rapped on the window. i opened the porch door and asked what they wanted.
my question was answered with another question. they asked me, did i want to be a winner? i bluntly replied that i'd asked them what they wanted first, but my puerile wordplay seemed to be lost in translation. the question was repeated, did i want to be a winner? sure, why not, i said. it was a very general classification, but a positive one. i was then told that to be a winner, i had to be a go-getter. to be a winner, i had to be a closer. i was told how winners got a life with four audis to choose from in the morning, and 2.3 martinis to enjoy in the evening. i was presented with a blackberry pearl, and told it was a gift for me. they said i could also have nice 3-piece suits, a legion of expensive watches, and a membership to an exclusive manhattan gym. they said i could have all these things, if i got on their Ship and took a Trip with them. however, i'd been somewhat put off by their general lack of humor, and they seemed to spout the same babble no matter which questions i asked. additionally, their flying saucer struck me as kind of gaudy, i don't wear watches, and i hate suits. so, i refused. i gave them back their blackberry pearl. they seemed a bit ruffled, for the first time, but continued calmly nonetheless. they insisted that i'd be insane to refuse such an offer. i was told that if i was not a winner, that would mean i'd be a loser. another called out from the ranks, a catcall suggesting that i was an impossible-to-help loser, and that they shouldn't have bothered with me. the leader shushed him and said to give me a chance to be reasonable. would i be sane, do the right thing, be a go-getter, a closer, a winner? the good-cop/bad-cop routine was the final straw. i snubbed out my cigarette (only 3/4 done), closed the door, and went inside. i then closed my eyes and leaned on the wall, letting my mind drift a little in the hopes i'd calm down and forget i'd just been pitched by a cult of alien yuppies. however, something disproportionately dramatic happened: instead of my mind clearing, i felt it floating upwards, flipping upside-down and sideways. but, when i opened my eyes, i was back in my body again. while this sounds cool, it was actually intensely nauseating, like an over-the-top amusement park ride. i felt the argument with the aliens playing back in my head over and over, asking the same questions, would i be a winner, would i be a closer, would i be a go-getter, to which i replied, over and over, no, no, no, no, no. i peered out the blinds and saw the aliens were still there, staring at my porch. they were getting into my head, trying to argue me into changing my mind -- or trick me, or simply wear me down with constant pestering and heckling. they were trying to steal my soul. at this point, my dinner of greasy chinese food, the scotch, and my general weakness to nicotine combined with the aliens' astral noodling to mass effect. i hurled myself into the bathroom, and hurled part of my stomach contents into the toilet shortly thereafter. i noticed that while the aliens were still in my head, they were quieter and less forceful after i'd puked. i tried to stand, but had to abort midway in order to eject the rest of my stomach contents. i noticed the voices were quieter still. their energy had been partially channeled through junk food, alcohol, and nicotone. however, even with the nicotine wearing off, i still heard them. they heckled, teased, and argued. so, i stumbled back into the living room and packed a bowl. after a few puffs, the voices started to seem intensely silly. i couldn't help but giggle uncontrollably at voices, and at everything they said. my laughter seemed to terrify the alien voices, causing them to flee. and i thought this stuff just made music better.... |
|
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-03-23 04:09:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Write comment |
| nationalize the banks | |
| nationalize the banks, let the economy collapse, fuck the stock market, darn your socks, trade shoes for corn, create value instead of consume it, spend money as soon as you get it; never invest, do drugs get fucked up masturbate your penis to the pope. live in poverty for a day, live in sin, live in your bathrobe. then live without your bathrobe, and feel free. sell your records. trade your CDs for CDs you haven't heard. try letting bugs live instead of squooshing them (ew). bury a skeleton for future archeologists to find, along with a monkey wrench and a good pair of pliers (as good for being misinterpreted as religious relics as anything else). redefine the word "is". eliminate the word "I" from your vocabulary for a week. expose yourself to your houseplants, how does it make you feel? what if the world didn't have bass? what if i drasticly altered my hair policy??? | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-03-18 17:09:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Read comments (1) |
| octomom rails ketamine at LA nightclub | |
| concludes that aliens want her to have dolphin babies. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-03-18 04:37:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Write comment |
| a chicken is just a pig with intent | |
| iphone sdk | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-03-17 20:46:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Write comment |
| KLARX HAX FAXDIDGIOUS | |
| fj39021924409 2390902 49 23jd zkjl;k jspoe jaspope epilepsy. launch clark brigade. epileptic battery fit. pope shckalx looove holmes im down. unha dnuh nahope u noe dat guyyyy. unahe aoooerko aj kljl fdjs kfl;skdlfk;lkf klf KUNTATNATNNA nKATNATN KATNAT KATKANT kK ATKAKT AKTKATK ATK ATK KTA KTAKT kT UNST DUNNA FREAKY!~ ALL YOU HAVE THOSE DUMBLESTORE DARN ARDER FREAKY!! ALL YOU HAVE THOSE DUMBLESTORE DARN ARDER FREAKY!! ALL YOU HAVE THOSE DUMBLESTORE DARN ARDER FREAKY!! ALL YOU HAVE THOSE DUMBLESTORE DANSTUDADADEEeeee ALL YOU HAVE THOSE DUMBLESTORE DARN ARDER FREAKY!! U ALL SHURE UNDS NDAN fejkee ALL YOU HAVE THOSE DUMBLESTORE DARN ARDER FREAKY!! YOU ARE SURE sdhfbsndmf TOTAL OPTIC FETUS!! dfalr 3ujslkdfjlskdfj TOTAL OPTIC FETUS!! sdlfkjsdlkf TOTAL OPTIC FETUS!! sldfkjsdklf TOTAL OPTIC FETUS!! fsdlkfjsdlkf sk;ljdflksdfj sbelieve it baby | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-03-13 22:28:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Write comment |
| L'CD Contractions | |
|
The disco whine of LCD Soundsytem's "Losing My Edge" was just rinsing out when my phone rang. It was 1:02 AM. Startled, I paused the music and answered the phone.
"WHAT SONG WAS THAT?!" a panicked, and somewhat crazed voiced demanded. I did what anyone would do in this situation, and got nervous that some weirdo was outside my window, and had my cell number. I gave my default reply: "wat" "It gave my wife contractions," he yelled, "She's having the baby!! I'm driving her to the hospital! Tell me what it is later!" Then he hung up. My neighbor's wife was pregnant, and I vaguely recalled this month being mentioned as the drop zone. There was also a lot of commotion going on, over there. I'd say it's COOL to start your journey into life to the tune of LCD Soundsystem's "Losing My Edge," but, no... that's just painfully ironic. "Hey, that's so cool, you were born during a song about how silly being cool is!!" No, I think I'm going to tell them it's a Ladytron song instead. |
|
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-03-13 00:20:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Write comment |
| cattlestar syntactica | |
| you herd it ear first. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-03-10 01:02:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Write comment |
| chantz | |
|
keewowie zowie sugar hay hairy kunkle keezowie kooie louie weegee wocky woo-ie lentilziltzkin datzgo homie (lentilziltzkin datzgo homie) huoarbodacious datzo roamie (huoarbodacious datzo roamie) |
|
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-03-09 03:59:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Write comment |
| riced out trash talk | |
|
409rlfine bstbn4trbl unoeugn2 shz2tehwiar ROEP CURL n u doen holmez. |
|
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-03-09 03:57:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Write comment |
|
HIBILLYMAYSHEREWITHTHEALLNEWOXY ITMAKESWATERWETBREATHITPUTITINYOURFIRE ANDNOWITSAVAILABLEFREEWHENYOUBUYATMOSPHERE |
|
| Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2009-03-06 00:29:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Read comments (1) |
| COMING SOON FROM RICED OUT RECORDS! | |
Electrojerk -- Electojerk Tells It Like It Is [EP]
AFX - Konklaver [LP]
Wisconsin House Band -- Cheddar Luck Next Time [LP]
Bill Gates -- Philanthropy Days [LP]
|
|
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-03-03 00:35:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Read comments (4) |
| w | |
| Normalisation hax in the mainframe, virtual reality penis enhancement viagra. Odd table with a messed up leg. OPEN FOR BUSINESS steakhouse in the 938298348th street. | |
| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2009-03-02 16:51:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Write comment |
| q | |
| My password is walrus, login: jdfijs9. That's the truth that is. What's up in the system> THE SYSTEM IS RED. I REPEAT: THE SYSTEM IS RED. But that's the colour of love and peace it so happens in the instruction manual. Don't worry, chill out. #ffffff With the superior index, neptune, jupiter - and to the outer regions of space and time. Etc. What is this headerimg it is like two prison guys wet.ffffdsfs34t4e seven | |
| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2009-03-02 16:48:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Write comment |
| TURBINE TRIPPIN | |
WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR muthafucka WHIRRRRRR WHREEEE WHEEEeeeeeeee WHIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR SPIIIIIIIIIN WHIIIIIIIIIIIIR WHAT A RUSH |
|
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-03-02 15:20:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Write comment |
| streaming mind patterns | |
Level one drug experience:
|
|
| Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2009-03-01 22:26:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Write comment |
| Riced Out Talking Points | |
If you should find yourself lacking anything thoughtful to say during a Riced Out Coversation, Riced Out Press Conference, Riced Out Keynote Speech, or other Riced Out Whatever, why not try one of these?
|
|
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-03-01 01:56:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Write comment |
| DJ, clear the decks | |
|
i don't own a monkey monkeys don't own me we're here in congress i really have to pee you know from my twit i'm web 2.0 a bit and i suffer from delusional, congressional A.D.D. |
|
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2009-02-27 19:49:00 | |
| Direct link to post | Write comment |
Previous 20 entries |