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| YUGO |
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YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
| data from the internet | |
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isles AN NNS islet AK VB islington AC NN ism AC NN ismail Ax NN-NNP ismeri Dm NNP-NNS isn AM VBP iso Bb NN-JJ-NNP iso14001 AT CD iso9000 AT CD isobutane AC NN |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-04-18 06:30:00 | |
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| partly cloudy with 20% chance of mass murder. | |
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the weather is the only thing to look forward to the only place they wont talk about the dead only cold fronts and upper level lows countrywide is on your side abc tells me that more insomniacs get their news from abc news america turns to who for answers? gun control is a bingo game played in the sky got a story to tell, call brian williams magical smile, veternarian, ryan the tuba player when a child dies, a universe of possibility and unequated proponates of harm towards others dies as well. most probably had it coming. |
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| Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2007-04-18 03:43:00 | |
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| please note this is fiction? | |
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I'm not sure what possessed me to get out of bed that night. What caused me to jump into my Civic and drive to my old elementary school. Perhaps it was the article I read on the rotten.com library regarding school vandalism. Perhaps I was feeling particularly spiteful after losing my job for failing a piss test. Who knows, but when I pulled into the parking lot with my lights off, I knew was going to cause someone a whole great deal of misery and pain.
I took a quick walk around the perimeter of the school. Schools are weird places when no one is around. Everything is frozen in time, nothing moves, no sound is made. Luckily this school sat at the end of a quiet street away from the prying of eyes of whatever insomniac may be up at two am. I went to this school for six years, now almost fifteen years later I still knew the basic layout. There was a sidedoor slightly obscured, I tried kicking it in. I kicked at that door at least five times. In frustration I pulled at the handle and it opened with no difficulty. In my hasty attempt at breaking and entering I didn't bother to check to see if the door was unlocked. I stepped into the dark hallway and saw the door that led down to the boilers and janitorial area. I clicked on my keychain flashlight and looked around for things. A cheap cassette player and FM radio, mousetraps, a microfridge with a six pack of Bud Light and several bottles of high strength drain cleaner. Active ingredient? Sulfuric acid. I looked out beyond the boilers through the dirty windows at the playground. Tomorrow kids will be playing on it before school, during recess and at lunch. I grabbed a pair of industrial gloves and five bottles of the drain cleaner and walked out the door I came in, across the cement playground to the junglegym equipment. I opened up one of the cans a little too close to my face, the fumes wafted up over my face. The sting and burn made me drop the bottle at the bottom of a slide where the liquid collected and began to strip the color from the molded plastic. Spasmatic coughing and tears streaming from my eyes, panic almost took over as I thought I had fucked myself over something good, but it all passed in a few minutes. I shielded my face and opened the second bottle, climbing up the steps, I pour the viscous liquid on the handrails, on the plastic 'tic-tac-toe' game, across the plastic flimsy bridge, and on the top of the slide. Watching the clear liquid seep its way down the slides was the best part. Kids are fucking stupid and will probably slide down the slide with anything on it. Here's to hoping they like going down face first. I splashed the rest of the liquid across the monkey bars, on the seats of the swings and on the seats of the benches. I collected all the bottles I brought with me and returned them back where I found them, hung up the gloves on their hook and closed the door behind me. I drove back to my house slowly, wearing my seatbelt. When I got back home Rumble in the Bronx was on TBS. I woke up to see this on my homepage: Boy Hospitalized for Burns After Using Playground Equipment Doused With Drain Cleaner At least someone got hurt. I guess. I'm a fucking failure. |
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| Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2007-04-16 00:57:00 | |
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| A P A O T S A T D? | |
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Things needed for mission: 1 wing nut your feminine side cold, intense gaze 7 years bad luck Department of Weights and Measures 1974 Handbook Phrase handbook: Kollox owkej? (Does this come in purple?) Jekk jogħġbok (She was afraid to come out of the locker) Għeluq sninek it-tajjeb (How much for an eightball of cocaine HCl salt?) Tista' tgħinni jekk jogħġbok! (I'm about to fuck you up, nigga!) Perdeim: €7,625 and prepaid Diner's Club Card, found in the right front pocket of your seersucker jacket. Remember you're representing us while abroad. Recover the cipher, the woman and the car filled with petrol and recieve more crack. |
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| Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2007-04-16 00:24:00 | |
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| the post-beginning | |
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I was the Pope's Elite Doped Out Assassin, and I was waiting for the walk light at a crosswalk. A crosseyed young lad who couldn't have been but 3.27 posed a question to me:
"Did you lose your earlobe in the war, mister?" "No, son," I replied with a chuckle, "I lost it in the third round against Tyson." While he'd been asking his question, however, I had used my spy-umbrella to inject a pellet of pure holy spirit into the diplomat waiting there as well. Always use enviornmental situations where you can. All was going according to plan. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-04-16 00:19:00 | |
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| the beginning | |
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he roped me in by blackmailing me with audio tapes of my confessions and then got me addicted to china white.
i became the pope's elite doped out assassin. and i fought crime - against god. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-04-16 00:12:00 | |
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| it's the thought that counts. | |
| i was disappointed when i realized the microphone i had been speaking into was not plugged in. but then, i suppose, it's the thought that counts. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-04-15 23:12:00 | |
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| chunky bacons | |
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| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2007-04-15 17:29:00 | |
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| YOU WILL GIVE ME ALL OF YOUR POLISH SAUSAGE, OR ELSE | |
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| Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2007-04-15 14:53:00 | |
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| soufle | |
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good evening. i am a 27 year old bacchanalian honda civic who owns his own home, drives a male, and has the ability to eat many many jelly beans. i occasionally enjoy sticking my fingers in my linux machine too. joy. i am seeking a medium silky bodied yugo, aged finely for about 20 to 35 years, with a soft and mellow touch and a sweet aftertaste. must also enjoy playing with my wii. you must also not have a problem with me dressing up as a viking and giving you kisses. |
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| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2007-04-15 13:59:00 | |
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| Tony Montana | |
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You all a bunch of fucking assholes, you know why, you don't have the guts to be what you wanna be, you need people like me. You need people like me so that you can point your fucking finger and say: "THAT'S the badguy", so, what that make you? Good? You're not good, you just know how to hide. You know to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. ME, I always tell the truth, even when I lie. So say goodnight to the badguy. Come on, last time you're going to see a bad guy like this. Come on, get out of the way of the bad guy. There's a bad guy coming through. You better get out of his way! You all a bunch of fucking assholes, you know why, you don't have the guts to be what you wanna be, you need people like me. You need people like me so that you can point your fucking finger and say: "THAT'S the badguy", so, what that make you? Good? You're not good, you just know how to hide. You know to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. ME, I always tell the truth, even when I lie. So say goodnight to the badguy. Come on, last time you're going to see a bad guy like this. Come on, get out of the way of the bad guy. There's a bad guy coming through. You better get out of his way! You all a bunch of fucking assholes, you know why, you don't have the guts to be what you wanna be, you need people like me. You need people like me so that you can point your fucking finger and say: "THAT'S the badguy", so, what that make you? Good? You're not good, you just know how to hide. You know to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. ME, I always tell the truth, even when I lie. So say goodnight to the badguy. Come on, last time you're going to see a bad guy like this. Come on, get out of the way of the bad guy. There's a bad guy coming through. You better get out of his way! huh? WHO THE FUCK YOU TALKIN TO? |
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| Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2007-04-15 09:09:00 | |
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| 1757 | |
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Hey Tom, I'm up for a game but make sure you organize it advance this time... remember what happened last time. Haven't seen MR. MOLE around for a bit - but I'll let him know if I see him. --38 |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-04-13 18:36:00 | |
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| (no subject) | |
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Hey Bob, how are you? still up for that game of quackery on tuesday night? that's gonna be kablamo, mate. also, tell MR. MOLE i said what's up. thanks mate. -- 37 |
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| Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2007-04-13 15:05:00 | |
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| steve ballmer innnn spaaaace | |
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FLOAT MONKEY FLOAT MONKEY WAT MONKEY FDIV ERROR FLOAT MONKEY FLOAT MONKEY HAT JUNKIE DOOBRAZELLA CLAM CLAM CLAM CLAM CLAM CLAM CLAM CLAM THAT 2 BAD APPLZ HAF 2 SPOIL EVRITHNG BY BRKNG TEH RULEZ??!? |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2007-04-13 05:04:00 | |
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| mind control by telephone | |
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YOU WILL BRING ME YOUR HAM SANDWICHES. YOU WILL BRING ME ALL OF YOUR GOLD. YOU WILL SURRENDER YOUR SHIP AND WOMEN TO ME. YOU WILL GIVE ME YOUR CRUNK. YOU WILL PASS THE YUGO. YOU WILL EAT YOUR ASPARAGUS. YOU WILL NEED MY ASSISTANCE DRIVING TO WORK. YOU WILL WANT TO FEEL UP MY TENTACLES. YOU WILL WANT TO WATCH THE "U CAN'T TOUCH THIS" MUSIC VIDEO REPEATEDLY ON YOUTUBE. YOU WILL WATCH IT AND LIKE IT. HAHAHAHAH. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO. NOTHING AT ALL. OWNED! YOU WILL PURCHASE FIRE HYDRANT VANDALISM. THOU SHALT FUNT. YOU WILL BOW DOWN TO PNRFNE. YOU WILL KEEP IT REAL LIKE I KEEP IT FUNKY. YOU WILL KEEP IT SPUNKTACULAR. YOU WILL TURN IT OUT. YOU WILL IMAGINE WHAT LIFE IS LIKE INSIDE OF A FISHTANK. YOU WILL FEED ME WEIRD THINGS. YOU WILL NOT GIVE THE PRIZE TO THE HYPNOTOAD. YOU WILL APPRECIATE ART. YOU WILL GET RID OF YOUR BULLSHIT. YOU WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE. YUGO WILL BEGIN TO MAKE PERFECT SENSE TO YOU. YOU WILL FEEL STRANGER THAN FICTION. YOU WILL CREATE YOUR OWN MEMES THAT NOBODY UNDERSTANDS. YOU WILL ENJOY THE SOUND OF MACHINES. YOU WILL LIKE IT WHEN THE COOL WIND BLOWS OVER YOU ON A HOT DAY. YOU WILL ENJOY IT WHEN THE FUCKING POLLEN IS DESTROYED BY THE RAIN. YOU WILL WISH IT TO SNOW. YOU WILL CONFRONT YOUR INNER DEMONS IN A LOTR-HIGH-BUDGET 3D-FX-CGI FIGHT-TO-THE-DEATH. THIS IS FACT. MIND CONTROL BY TELEPHONE. -37 |
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| Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2007-04-12 19:48:00 | |
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| uuu | |
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make me happy non-formic: 000-tab-funk-machine-funk 001-eee-eeee-eeeeeee-eeee 003-qfx-qfxu-qfxukqq-qfxu 004-phr-asic-connect-ionz 005-qqq-meme-control-oooo 006-zzz-zzzz-zzzzzzz-zzzz |
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| Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2007-04-12 12:12:00 | |
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| val milker | |
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Riced out yugo supports val kilmer in his quest to make a sequel to real genius Ricin you golg sunports vil kalmer im hiz qwest to maki a soliel to reel gunine Ricer for rolf snubbats liv tylers im har traum in flax p sunlid op amplifier e Race. fri rolf snizbiff ina nyquil qu dip hydra qo aoqq z sudsid soapbox almqui |
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| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2007-04-12 03:08:00 | |
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| eepbeepboopbap | |
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I just got yugo'd by mr the plague! what happened to seeking the hatsby? I still don't know who he is :( |
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| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2007-04-11 02:55:00 | |
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R00 7559 6559-60 S19 0065 0978-00 Satellite: 110 Spotbeam: 18 HACKED BY TED TURNER |
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| Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2007-04-11 02:00:00 | |
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| Attention Yugoists | |
| We've got a group meeting south of the border. Bring the 4 next to the 8, when the birds fly to the south. Make sure to cross the wood when it's wet. | |
| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2007-04-10 20:19:00 | |
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