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| YUGO |
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YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
| Senator Ted Stevens has erectile dysfunction | |
| Senator Ted Stevens has erectile dysfunction. Senator Ted Stevens is unable to govern his own genetalia. Senator Ted Stevens is unable to achieve an erection. Sometimes, Senator Ted Stevens sometimes wets himself, several times a day. Senator Ted Stevens attempts to compensate for these shortfallings via typical masculine styles of excess (building large shit, e.g. bridges, to prove how potent he is, claiming he understands complicated technical concepts such as the Internet, to feel needed). Senator Ted Stevens is a secret homosexual. Senator Ted Stevens has not even told himself he is homosexual, so please, kindly do not tell him, yourself, your family, or anyone else. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-08-31 17:38:00 | |
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| watto | |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-08-30 22:06:00 | |
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| SKATE OR DIE FAGS | |
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| Posted by DOLT45 @ 2006-08-30 20:44:00 | |
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| STAPLES it to the man! | |
 I realized the other day I needed some ink.
However, a healthy supply of ink was a mere $10.02 shy of free shipping, So, thinking quickly, I added a Pilot G2 Pro bringing my total to a reasonable $50.06 and qualifying for free shipping.
$10.08 in pens with the final price increase a mere $2.13. Oh, delicious capitalism! |
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| Posted by stabl_dözr the wildly self-intersecting @ 2006-08-29 15:30:00 | |
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| IT IS A BOX OF GOODS | |
| IT IS A LINK BECAUSE THERE ARE A LOT OF PICTURES | |
| Posted by stabl_dözr the wildly self-intersecting @ 2006-08-28 15:07:00 | |
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| The Pluto Chronicles, Part IV | |
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"Who THE hell ARE you guySSSss?" I demanded.
"Uh..." the puzzled gentleman on the end of the line muttered, unsure as to the sort of nutcase with which he was dealing. "This is the International Astronomical Union, sir.." "OhhHHH. 'Kay... Well, Uh..." I began. By now, I had just about sussed out the approximate response of the audio compression on the line. Hunch at this juncture was some TI DSP chip in his digital desk phone. Black. My phone, of course, does not have that "feature." I knew I'd find out for sure at The Moment, if this call had one, and I was a-feelin' that it was going to. I launched. "Now, who are you, that you get to vote and decide what's a planet?" I asked. "Well, this is the International Astronomical Union, sir," he began, once again seeming pleased to answer the phones. Smarmy. And, now thinking he knew the reason for the odd tension he felt on the line. "We have elected a panel..." That was all I needed. I cut him off. "I don't ever recall being asked to vote!" I thundered, starting at a whisper and ending at a scream, and likely ending his eardrums as well. "What if I don't want to be an International Astromer?" "What if I want to be a SUPER Astronomer?" I yelled. "What about that, hmmm?" He should have hung up, but, I suspected he would have considered that to be a death-blow to his ego. That is, letting some random loony get his goat. Yes, I was THAT sort of loony - fucking crazy like a fox, predictable as a drunk russian. I heard him franticly fiddling with his phone, trying to mash the volume key to slow my assault, deal with a second incoming call, hold the phone to his ear with his shoulder, and appear composed in an open-office environment. I probably had ten or 15 seconds until he managed to dig around the phone config menu enough to turn the volume down. I now knew I was completely right about the phone, except for one thing... "IIIIIIIaaaasbababa! I yelled, not going for volume, just jarring suddeness. I heard a thunk as the phone receiver hit his desk. I took that moment to flip my desk speakers on, and fired up a sound player. "Pardon, sir?" He asked, not wanting to admit he hadn't been paying attention to me, and, consequently, had no idea the torrent had been jibberish. I gave a mock-sigh of impatience, my front-line wat surging ahead into the smarmy territory he thought he was lounging comfortably in. "I said, 'I think it's silly that some panel I never heard of votes, and then tells me what I should call a planet! Whatever Pluto is, it'd still be around without us, and never came up with the stupid word.'" He thought he had the answer. "Well, sir, you see, Science is impartial..." he began, relieved to fall into a practiced speech, "...and, as such, a group representive of the current thought of the Scientific community meets to vote on such things." He then paused, as this is normally about time a calling reporter would want a pause to write the answers down. When I started to hear a slight slurp as he sipped his coffee (Black... five sugars he never mentioned), I again lept. I clicked play on the computer, and held the phone up to the speaker. Wesley Willis showed the chap no remorse. "I WHUPPED! BATMAN'S ASS!" Mr. Willis commented from the speakers, not using his indoor voice. I heard a clonk and some cursing as he dropped his coffee. I chose that moment to crank Wesley Willis. I had no doubt that, at this moment, everyone in his vicinity at the open-floor office 'campus' was looking at him, as he frantically tried to mop coffee off of his treasured phone, a phone that, judging by the echo, he accidentally switched to 'speaker conference; loud' while attempting to mop up, and also, a phone that was currently receiving an audio signal regarding batman's posterior at a dangerously cheesy volume. Yeah, this guy had my vote. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-08-27 20:18:00 | |
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| what is wrong with this sentence | |
| The cooler was kept at a cool -100 Kelvin. | |
| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2006-08-27 13:15:00 | |
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| what is wrong with this sentence | |
| The cooler was kept at a cool -640 degrees Fahrenheit. | |
| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2006-08-26 21:13:00 | |
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| emotions are disgusting like soap in a kid's mouth during a swearing session. | |
| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2006-08-26 02:34:00 | |
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| salacious sequestrian celestial pedestrian | |
|
q paul mccartney |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-08-25 02:00:00 | |
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| George W. Bush has erectile dysfunction | |
| Psst. George W. Bush has erectile dysfunction. Pass it on. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-08-24 23:05:00 | |
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| Nomadic herders milk the yaks every day | |
| a small chinese villiage can produce 20 kilos of cheese per day. vermont jealous; yugo news will keep you posted. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-08-24 22:04:00 | |
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| Discrimination against pluto is a liberal plot | |
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PLUTO IS MADE OF DARK MATTER PLUTO IS MADE OF DARK MATTER PLUTO IS MADE OF DARK MATTER PLUTO IS MADE OF DARK MATTER PLUTO IS MADE OF DARK MATTER PLUTO IS MADE OF DARK MATTER |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-08-24 12:19:00 | |
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| letter quilt | |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-08-24 11:11:00 | |
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| riced out yugo is a 1000 cultural plumbers at a dozen cultural monkey wrenches | |
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riced out yugo is full of tubes riced out yugo is full of tubes riced out yugo is full of tubes riced out yugo is full of tubes riced out yugo is full of tubes riced out yugo is full of tubes riced out yugo is full of tubes riced out yugo is full of tubes bells. whistles. pizzazz. what if whistles were fed into bells? or bells into pizzazz? or pizzazz into pizzazz? |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-08-24 10:46:00 | |
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| Narnac 3000 | |
| pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy pointy 10% cotton | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-08-24 10:39:00 | |
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i write a haiku while searching on torrent spy for vsnares torrents ntoe: there aren't that many on there, drat it all. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-08-24 10:37:00 | |
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| Is Pluto a planet? | |
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Okay, Riced Out Yugo is going to deflate this fuddy-duddery, right now. Ol' RTQP is sick of hearing about it.
Fact A: Planet is a word invented by Humans. Fact B: The word planet means whatever we define it to mean. Fact C: Whatever the hell Pluto is, it'd probably still exist, even if we didn't. Pluto is a planet. Ceres is a planet. Charon is a planet. My ass is a planet. George Carlin is a planet. The War on Terrorism is a planet. I have millions of planets in my body. Planets are larger bodies that orbit moons. The sun is a giant eletric circuit. Language has its limits. Just pick a definition and go with it. Given all that, we introduce: Fact D: If we had no idea what a "planet" was, we would not be stressing out about its definition. We would be free to stress out over other, more important things, such as wigs and testosterone. So, let's just leave "planet" undefined. k? |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-08-24 01:15:00 | |
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Anonymous said...
hi...i am a chinese ,why don't to learn some chinese and chinese culture ?have a good day -_- |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-08-22 23:55:00 | |
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| The grue world order | |
| there's too much blood in my caffeinestream. potatos farm people, except during blights. slide whistles don't slide, the silder in the slide whistle does. the television watches you. pamela anderson likes your tits. plasma televisions give you cancer. placentas are vital to american society. george w. bush loves cocaine. the simpsons is never on at the same time twice. my middle name could have been betsy. a stopped clock tells the right time, twice a day. by the time you read this, sir charles will be ready to take you on the bball court. the bureaucracy is full of government. martinis drink you. ambien swallows you. cows contract mad cow disease from humans. joke about soviet russia is not in soviet russian. dogs naturalized humans. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-08-22 22:54:00 | |
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