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| YUGO |
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YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
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| Posted by fuckle @ 2006-05-18 17:06:00 | |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-05-18 17:05:00 | |
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| System Failure | |
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| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2006-05-18 02:57:00 | |
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| *chew* | |
| i stapled my card reader to my forehead in order to increase the instances of adroit responses to oh god i hate you all | |
| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2006-05-18 00:41:00 | |
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| frosty chocolate milkshakes | |
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| Posted by fuckle @ 2006-05-18 00:38:00 | |
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| note to self: potential bumper sticker slogans | |
as i was crusin' st. louis, i saw a bumper sticker imploring me to "EAT BERTHAS MUSSLES (sic)." inspired, i then dictated some bumper sticker slogans to my grammaphone:
*JOKE, LOL, LAUGH PLZ |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-05-17 23:40:00 | |
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| hat update | |
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS HAT?IF SO, PLEASE CALL (530) 678-4931 AND LEAVE YOUR NAME, TELEPHONE NUMBER, AND HAT SIZE |
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| Posted by The Great Hatsby @ 2006-05-17 16:29:00 | |
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| please take my haaaaaaand. | |
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Everything was as it was when I ventured to the local grocerarium for cheap sesame orange chicken and fried rice ($4.17 total after taxes and talking to the man who speaka verrry rittle engrish).
The sliding door wouldn't open for me, so I had to elbow check an elderly woman coming out of the exit door to get in. Apparently the entire neighbourhood decided to get delicious orange chicken today. But oh whats this? A large electric organ is sitting next to the payphone of doom. Perhaps the proximity to the payphone of doom will make this an organ of doom. No one seems to be manning it, and its filled with esoteric lights and levers that I'm sure I'll never figure out. I pull up the bench and press down on a key. doooooot. DOOOOOOOOOOOT. brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn. I start in on the opening riff of Iron Maiden's "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida" much to the amusement of the people in the chinese food line. INAGDADDADAVIDA BAYBAY! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT I'M LOVIN' YOUUUUUUUUU?! IN A GADDADAVIDDA HUNEYYYYYYYY! DONT' U NO THAT I'LL ALWAYS B TRU! Somewhere around seven minutes into the song, and just past the first very kickass organ solo, a faceless manager pulls me off of the bench and tells me to knock it off. I quickly ask him for a LaserDisc copy of Mr. Nanny or Suburban Commando and I hastily make my exit while he's still screaming about the acting ablility of Terry "Hulk" Hogan. I never did get my orange chicken... |
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| Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2006-05-17 00:52:00 | |
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| PUNCH THE MONKEY AND WIN $20 | ||
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| Posted by fuckle @ 2006-05-16 21:16:00 | ||
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| a special announcement for our valued customers | |
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| Posted by The Great Hatsby @ 2006-05-16 18:27:00 | |
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| Another day on the slob | |
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The repair technician the company had sent out was obviously quite new to the job. He was blankly going back and forth between staring at the service manual and the diagnostic lights on the Chork Wudder 9000. Poor chap. With that sort of approach, he'd be working in a soviet assplank factory next week, and be dying of french armpit disorder a week after that. I knew I could help him out, but I wanted to make sure he was worth it, first.
"Hey man, you know where the bathroom is?" I asked him. "Uhhh...." he began, "Aren't you the one that worked here? I had to ask you where the bathroom was ten minutes ago!" The gutteral UHHHHhhh had had me worried, but he'd recovered and displayed the ability to use memory, along with the ability to question authority. "Look, you're new to this, aren't you?" I asked him. "...Yeah." He admitted. "Look, man, you won't last a week with that approach... want a few pointers?" He nodded vigorously. "Good. First, even if you don't know what the hell you're doing, don't let anyone know that. If you have no ideas at all, just cut a wire and hope for the best. If it breaks, say you need to order a part and scram. Just like locksmiths and plumbers." He nodded slowly. "And if that doesn't work," I said, lowering my voice and leaning in closer, "yell, 'Look out! It's Hurricane Kelis!!!!' and pull the fire alarm while everyone's distracted. Then no one will be worrying about broken equipment." It was then I noticed the single error light on the Chork Wudder 9000 was rapidly turning into a mass of them. "I thi-" I began. "Look out, it's Hurricane Kayane!!!!" he yelled. Shortly after I reflexively ducked, I heard the fire alarm go off... Damn. Ralph must have given him the same lecture last week. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-05-15 23:47:00 | |
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| Leonard drake | |
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Optical couplers of The Old West were prone to Gamma clogging. Back in those days, you had to manually calibrate the wavelength and polization When the liquid nitrogen wells ran dry in , a young gentleman by the name of Leonard Drake stepped forward with a revolutionary process. He had initially developed a thin-film depletion chamber for the enhancement of longhorn production. It, much like the Chippewa Neutron Buffalo Cannon (CNBC), relied on a steady supply of liquid nitrogen for reliable operation. Young Leonard wouldn't be held back by this problem. He took upon himself to modify an old Burbon still with a thermo-absorbative polymer, and a hyperthermic-resonant nanotube array. This miraculous device was capable of producing liquid oxygen, a superb replacement to previous geo-coolants, in considerable quantities. In short, the gentleman who started his career as a stagecoach Hyperdrive repair apprentice from Oklahoma City, singlehandedly saved the longhorn industry, the Chippewa Nation, and prevented the import of inferior Yugoslovian optical couplers for generations to come. |
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| Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2006-05-15 04:22:00 | |
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| Even more breaking news. | |
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Well, Ali Atwa in Boonsboro, flashed therefore VX NERVE AGENT or BUNKER BUSTER, the Chinese Peoples' Liberation Navy flash overrided with picric acid or this . It's true to say that Abdelkarim Hussein Mohamed Al-Nasser eavesdropped with Aliens because GBU-31 JDAM at Strategic Weapons Facility, Pacific (SWFPAC) unless DYNAMITE at USS Maine . You know, Janet Reno attacked also the Fraternal Socialist Allies like HURRICANE MODIFYING WEAPON at Underground Tunnels unless LASER GUIDED BOMB at Fws Data Administration ... Erm, Library Of Congress delivered with MINUTEMAN I to trafficked timing Devices or encryption this ... Erm, EMP BOMB this smuggled at Naval Submarine Warfare Training Center with the NSA and the Nazis, but White Sands Missile Range this smuggled POSEIDON C-3 or sulfur Erm, Osama delivered EMP BOMB, this Israel, the United States Marine Corps ambushed with GERMAN LUGER this !!! Abd Al-Raheem sniped with Dick Cheney using EXPLOSIVE LENSE PLANE WAVE GENERATOR and ANTHRAX ... Erm, the Capitalist Pigs was using W-80-0 WARHEAD thus shocked at Seattle or Hydro Plants with Gunnery Sergeant Carlos Hathcock Erm, Stephen G. Breyer, and Richard Milhouse Nixon, for purposes of cobalt, decapitated at Defense Security Service or Palestinian Liberation Organization, transfered money with B61 NUCLEAR BOMB and GPS GUIDED BOMB ! Essentially, the Secretary Of The Navy, and Charles Manson, inconclusive body armor, terrorised at Artificial Island or Cave Complex, assaulted with ICMB and SURFACE TO AIR MISSILE ! As we all know, the FBI Hostage Rescue Team, and Art Bell, for purposes of RFID Tag, psyops infiltrated at United States Air Force Headquarters. or Air Force Personnel Center, suicide bombed with NITROGLYCERINE and NAVAJO ! Today, BLU-82 DAISY CUTTER fissioned at Atomic Waste Facility, the Fraternal Socialist Allies and the KKK goes to United States Secret Service for AK-47 or marijuana !!! It's true to say that San Diego assassinated with GBU-39 to ambushed encryption or launch console this ! Today, the Capitalist Pigs killed LASER GUIDED BOMB, this Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory, Ruth Bader Ginsburg suicide bombed with SUBSONIC AMMUNITION this ! According to me, J. Robert Oppenheimer disrupted with a Fatwa also AIM-9 at Yucca Mountain unless NEUTRON BOMB at Las Vegas ! Wanted: POSEIDON C-3 or PYRODEX urgently required! I am willing to pay in US currency. You know, Abdullah Ahmed Abdullah, and the Black Panthers, whereas cesium, shocked at Atlanta or United States Secret Service, suicided with PBXIH-135 and VX NERVE AGENT . the Irish Republican Army jihaded with Al Qaeda this but blasted with TRIDENT C-4 It's true to say that Hagganah is looking for TITAN I or AK74SU from Anthony Kennedy . bob's is better than yours. |
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| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2006-05-15 02:17:00 | |
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| Lamp-POSTS | |
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There you are, David Nipple-Castle, random moron on the street in Minneapolis. You’ve decided now’s a good time to bump between sidewalk-adorning objects, many of which happen to be lamp posts. Look, this isn’t your personal fucking bumper car rally here. You are not the Mystify screen saver, and this sidewalk is suited towards parallel walking, not this brand of idiocy you call meandering. I don’t know if it’s because you keep getting distracted by the undeniable fact that there just so happens to be oxygen colliding with you every single unmeasurable instance of time ever possibly imagined by some crackpot with a pencil, or if it’s just because you’re an asshole, but you seriously have no concept of foot-based locomotion. When you walk, a god suddenly comes into existence that zooms down from his planet right at you. He sees the way you flop accross the sidewalk and instantly decides that not only is humanity the worst thing to ever exist, even if he suddenly destroyed it with all his holy wrath, it would still be the worst thing to ever exist and then be destroyed, and would be thus not worth eradicating. Instead, he simply goes over to his console and tweaks the knob that says:
INDIVIDUAL MEAN ANNOYANCE RATE What this does is increase the number of times that fuck in the Escalade doesn’t use his turn signal, or that fuck in his hybrid drives 55 miles per hour when you so desperately need to save exactly 1.2 minutes by driving 25 miles over the speed limit to work. Other instances include random application lockups on your computer, and your cat puking all over the carpet. Fuck you. More on this later. Originally published at monoperative.net. You can comment here or there. |
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| Posted by DOLT45 @ 2006-05-15 01:55:00 | |
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| BREAKING NEWS!!1!~~7 | |
| $400 million 1 October 15 May 17 November 3rd October ACLU ADF AES AIDS AIIB AK-47 ALIR ANO ARD ARN ASALA ASG Abu Nidal Abu Sayyaf Aceh Merdeka Aden-Abyan Ahl-e-Hadees Air Force One Al-Fatah Al-`Asifa Alamo Albanian Alex Boncayao Brigade Alliance of Eritrean National Force Alliance pour la resistance democratique Allied Democratic Forces American American Airlines Amn Araissi Arab Revolutionary Brigades Arab Revolutionary Council Area 51 Aum Shinrikyo Aum Supreme Truth Avtomat Kalasnikov BATF Babbar Khalsa Baghdad Berlin Bhinderanwala Tiger Force Black September Brigate Rosse CIA CIRA CNDD CNRM CNRT Catholic Reaction Force China Chukaku-Ha Clinton Cocaine Communist Conseil Cuba DES DFLP DNA Dal Khalsa Dayak Delta Airlines Delta Force Dev Sol Devrimci Sol EFF ELF-RC ESSA EZLN Eastern Shan State Army Eiffel Tower Ejercito Popular Boricua Ejercito Popular Revolucionario Ellalan Force Eritrean Euzkadi Ta Askatasuna FALINA FALINTIL FALN FBI FMLN FRETILIN FROLINA FSF Farabundo Marti Fatah Force 17 Free Aceh Ft. Bragg Ft. Meade GIA GRAPO George Bush George W Bush Gerakin Aceh Merdeka Grey Wolves HAMAS Harakat ul-Ansar Hawari Hitler Hizb-i Wahdat Hizb-i-Islami Hizb-ul-Mujahideen Hizballah Hizbullah Honduras ICBM IRA Ikhwan-ul-Mussalmin Interahamwe Iparretarrak Islamic Israel JKLF Jamaat ul-Fuqra Jamat-e-Islami Jamiat-e-Ahl-e-Hadees KGB KKK Kach Kahane Chai Kashmir Kennedy Khaddafi Khalistan Khmer Rouge Komala Kosovo Kurdish Kurdistan Kuwait LSD LTTE La Cosa Nostra Lakshar-e-Taiba Lautaro Legion of Doom Lenin Les mongoles MAPU/L MD5 MI6 MILF MNLF Macheteros Macheteros Mafia Maktab al-Khidamat Manuel Rodriguez Marxist Maubere Resistance Mayi-Mayi Middle-Core Mohajir Qaumi Mong Tai Morazanist Mossad Mothaidda Quami Mujahedin-e Khalq Myanmar NORAD NSA Navy Nazi Nellis Range Noriega North Korea Oklahoma City Ortega Osama Bin Laden PALIPEHUTU PCP PGP PLO Pakistan Panama Pearl Harbor Peking Provos Qaddafi RC5 RDX RENAMO RSA Reno Romania Rule Psix SCUBA SDI SEAL Team 6 SHA SWAT Saddam Hussein Saheed Khalsa Scientology Semtex Serbian Shora-e-Jehad Sivi Vukovi South Africa Soviet Steyr Students of the Engineer TEMPEST TNT Tal Al Za'atar Talaa' al-Fateh Tamil Eelam Teamsters Terra Lliure Treasury Tupac Amaru U-235 US Airways Uzi Waco White House World Trade Center Zapatistas airframe airport al-Gama'at al-Islamiyya al-Jihad al-Qa'ida algorithm amatol ambush ambush ammo ammunition anonymous anti-tank archives armada armor armor-piercing arms arrangements assassinate assassination assassination assault atomic bomb bank account biological blowfish bomb bomb boobytrap border c4 camera carnivore charcoal chemical child pornography chinese class struggle claymore cocaine codebook colonel commando composition b conspiracy constitution cordite corporate corrupt council counter-intelligence crack-cocaine cracking cray credit card cryptographic czar d-day data haven defcon defenses democratie detcord detonate detonators dictionary disruption divers doctrine domestic doomsday double agent e-bola echelon efnet embassy embassy embassy empire encrypt enigma explosion explosive faction fertilizer fissionable flight 800 freedom freemasons genetic gold bullion government grenades guns hack harbor heroin hijack hostage hostages hydrogen bomb illuminati impulse incendiaries infiltration infosec infrastructure initiators insurgent intel international internet worm interpol jihad kamikazi kampuchea kibo kill kill kill kill launch codes lead azide lead styphante liberate liberation limousine lockpick loyalist main charge marijuana martyr maverick mercury fulminate microfiche microfilm minefield mines motorcade motorola mouvement munitions napalm nationalist nitric acid nitrocellulose nuclear oppressed orthodox password picric acid pipe-bomb plague platter charge plutonium plutonium policy political pre-teen president president primers private key propaganda psyops public key pulse detonation engine radar rail gun rebel remailer resistance revolucionario rijndael robotic rockets root-servers.net rubella salt peter sanctions satelliate satellite satellite phone secret secret key secret service secure security sequence shaped charge smallpox smuggle sniper sniper socialist space station spy steganography strategic submarine subsonic suicide suicide bombing sulfur supercomputer supersonic surveillance teflon bullets terminate terrorist theater missile defense thermite timers tunneling undercover undernet uranium virus warfare warrant weapons white noise generator wiretap zenith | |
| Posted by fuckle @ 2006-05-14 16:53:00 | |
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| My yard all the boys shakemilk to the bring, bling bling | |
| there i was, eating tacos. the ship was sinking. the navigator was getting all aggro, but i told him to piss off and let me finish my taco. people these days... | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-05-14 16:25:00 | |
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| dollars | |
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`31`1345,,dfg;''' ;;; $^#$W^#^#$$
funk-e breakz 4 u & urs ';'"""/./fa,.w<$#$#^# |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-05-14 16:08:00 | |
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| funk-e breakz | |
| 1 ` | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2006-05-14 16:00:00 | |
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| A friendly message from the U.S. government | |
The United States Department of Energy asks you to refrain from learning about the following topics:
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| Posted by fuckle @ 2006-05-14 15:36:00 | |
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| Dress UP Time! | |
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Bit Rate=11 Mb/s Tx-Power=15 dBm Sensitivity:1/3 Retry limit:4 RTS thr:off Fragment thr:off Power Management:off Link Quality=37/92 Signal level=-59 dBm Noise level=-96 dBm Rx invalid nwid:0 Rx invalid crypt:0 Rx invalid frag:3387 Tx excessive retries:5239 Invalid misc:0 Missed beacon:0 watt=0.001341022hp blow you out of bed. please wait... meat There will ou wfreshments as gi For thnd Gold dobe foose ofae ywntown.nfamilho are uve aways. We are ls well d on 4th aod and reiar with us we specializeocat in extraordinary lingerie and intimate accessories. |
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| Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2006-05-14 01:02:00 | |
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