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| YUGO |
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YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
| National parental alert!!11 | |
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A US media monitoring group has issued a "nationwide parental alert!!11" after hidden pornographic material was found in the popular cooking utensils marketed under the name, "Cooking utensils by Murray."
The organisation, National Institute on the Media and the Family, issued a warning instructing consumers to "Panic!1" after it was revealed that an upgrade to the cookware allows chefs to see pornagraphic images already contained within the utensils. The modification is called 'mmm snax' and was created by Patrick Wildenborg, 36, at the international cookery institute in the Netherlands. He claims that the modification adds nothing illegal to the cooking implements and merely allows consumers to see what is already present in the hardware. "If Cooking Utensils By Murray denies that, then they're lying and I will be able to prove that," said Patrick Wildenborg, mod author, in an email to Associated Press. "My mod does not introduce anything new to the utensil. All the fun stuff that my mod makes available was already present in the product." Cooking Utensils by Murray has produced some of the most controversial cookware of all time. In order to take part, chefs must stir soup, cook lentils, and praise satan. There have been calls for the products to be banned in some US states. "It should be clear to everyone by now that cooking utensils do influence young people," said Dr. David Walsh, author of the best selling book on teenage brain development, Why Do They Act That Way, and How the Hell Can I Stop It? "Cooking Utensils by Murray never belonged in the hands of kids. We are taking the unusual step of alerting parents to the pornography available through this crockware to any child or teen who is internet savvy." |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-11 09:06:00 | |
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| NLS | |
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Dear sir and/or madam:
You have been declared a national LOL source. Starting on the next business day, everyone in the nation will be instructed to laugh at you, for purposes of national security. Q: But I'm not funny enough. How can I be declared a national LOL source? Isn't this sort of duty normally reserved for funny-looking people? A: Well, with the war on terror, this nation's resources are stretched to the limit, and every citizen must do his or her part. You have been elected to provide LOL. Q: How long will I be required to serve as a national LOL source? A: You are required to serve as a national LOL source until released by the President of the United States. Usually, this is after a few days, but he's been a little busy, recently. Q: What if I am unable to serve as a national LOL source? A: Tough noogies. LOL. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-11 08:26:00 | |
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| Keen Eddie | |
| Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Ham. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Pork. Andy Richter Control the Universe? | |
| Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2005-07-10 20:30:00 | |
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| what is inside twizzlers? | |
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if, on a lazy day, one decided to closely examine a twizzler one was eating, he would notice that there is a hole running down the center of the twizzler. this begs the question: what is IN this cavity? air, perhaps, but what else have they added?
the answer is deep and scary. you will have to figure it out for yourself. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-10 14:31:00 | |
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| whoa | ||
the riced out yugo has you.not the matrix.this is the matrix: the matrix does not have you. this is riced out yugo: the riced out yugo does have you. Repeat, five times: "The riced out yugo has me." |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-09 15:51:00 | ||
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| glokerole | |
| hunterton ksnax mcgloobie 9000 jr. says hi | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-09 13:31:00 | |
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| WWWWWWW | |
| I'M WWWWWWWWWWWW SHOA | |
| Posted by DOLT45 @ 2005-07-09 00:27:00 | |
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| rollin' back prices at the clamshack | |
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if you're lookin' for a clam that's a guarenteed slam then to clamshack you must go. there ain't nothin' better in foul or fair weather then being served clam chowder, yo. clam-a-shack, clam-a-shack clamshack CLAMSHACK clamshack clam-a-clam CLAMSHACK, CLAAAAMSHAAAACK!!1 CLAMSHACK(C)2073 Clamshack, Inc. We own the entire market. Do. Not. Fuck with us. That includes you, Brad Pitt, even if we did steal your line. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-09 00:21:00 | |
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| US History | |
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Here is the story of how our founding fathers, George
Washington and Howard Dean, saved the nation from disaster
by learning from the indians how to make soup out of moccasins:
One day, ben!jamin franklin was sipping coffee. Then, he ran out of coffee. So he went to the cupboard to get more, but there was no more!!1 the world was out of food. ben!jamin franklin was not amused, and called his lawyer, secretary of landlording condoleaser rice, and demanded the aristocrats be put out into the field at once to grow coffee, and that they should be whipped should coffee production fall below 1721 levels. George Washington heard of this, and he did not like it one bit!1 George knew that coffee was not the wave of the future, and that we had to make the pie higher. Like, totally blitzed. So, he called up ben!jamin franklin, and he agreed to seperate the male and female coffee plants. But then, Abraham Lincoln clomped up, in his heavily modified THORTECH E-LIMINATOR BATTLEBOT PERSONAL ARMORED CARRIER 3000, and demanded fourscore and seven pounds of pudding. the future of coffee was in jeoprady!11 Just when all appeared to be lost, HOWARD DEAN showed up. "We're gonna take back the coffee fields from the republincolns, because they're just a white, tea-growing party! YEAAAHHHH!!11#^%7" And that's how the veritable verifiability of snax was preserved in the united states of botox. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-08 13:35:00 | |
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| Shane loses his ham. | |
| Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the pork. One day, Queburt China White Noddington went to the store and was gunned down by Craig T. Nelson robocop clones! REPENT FOR THE PLASTIC CUP MODULES! | |
| Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2005-07-08 12:34:00 | |
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| purple haze angels | |
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i have been given the title "Purple Haze Angels". Thus, I give to you a poem. doobies passed around the host of angels their laughter like a chorus of church bells "dude, you are so wasted!" on the record player hendrix plucks his harp in heaven, you always smoke purple haze |
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| Posted by Sparky Delilah @ 2005-07-08 11:56:00 | |
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| LATIN GRAMMAR LESSON | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Today's lesson is on the third declension. EXAMPLE: snax, snacis
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| Posted by Sparky Delilah @ 2005-07-08 10:09:00 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| Roman history | |
| Many know about the Pax Romana, from 27 BC to 180 AD, a long period of unbroken peace in ancient Rome. Few, however, know of the Snax Romana, from 200 AD to 210 AD, where the Romans consumed snax and other tasty treats at a record rate. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-08 09:59:00 | |
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| the chart wizard has a message from the world of closed captioning | |
thanks for helping the chart wizard take a bite out of crime |
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| Posted by fuckle @ 2005-07-07 20:38:00 | |
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| Open letter | |
| Dear Roxanne, plz 2 stop puttin' on teh red light. kthx. | |
| Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2005-07-07 14:18:00 | |
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| wasabi in your coffee | |
| The lightswitch, or "lightswitch" as it is known in commmon vernacular, controls the functionality of a "light," or "light" to use the technical term. The lightswitch has two (2) states, making "it" ("it") a finite state machine. The lightswitch is a fascinating example, or "exemplar" of modern technology. If you would like to learn more about lightswitches, please contact the National Lightswitch Commission, at 421 Cactus Blvd. Washington D.C. 20002, USA. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-07 09:54:00 | |
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| SPARKY RETURNS | |
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HA HA HA HA HE HE HE HE HI HI HI HI HO HO HO HO HU HU HU HU HY HY HY HY HW HW HW HW (BUT ONLY IF YOU'RE GAELIC) did you MISS me?? |
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| Posted by Sparky Delilah @ 2005-07-07 09:52:00 | |
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| evening hax list | ||
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-06 22:20:00 | ||
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| 28405084.bananaloaf.jpg | ||
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-06 21:41:00 | ||
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| what do doctors see, when they look into your ears? | |
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what do doctors see, when they look into your ears? and is it any different from what they see, when they look into your nose? what of a colony of britons had set up shop in there, and made a deal with the doctor not to tell you? what if said colony of britons was looking to establish a soverign nation inside the confines of your skull? what if, 20 years from now, the sovern nation becomes a nuclear power? this is a classic example of the logic behind nuclear nonproliferation. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2005-07-06 21:14:00 | |
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