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| YUGO |
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YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
| Wimbleawumwham | |
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if
ifififif p0rk p0rk pr0k pruNK pl0ck PLINKKKKK! plo.p. AND NOW TIME FOR A COMMERCIAL BREAK Zimblefam McQuam, Inc. wishes you to try pr0k at home. The other Might Weat. Best prepared with a straight-edge and protractor. We now return you to our regularly scheduled program. fuifififif pr0k P)))ORK SUCH MONOTONY IN THE LAND OF NETWORK TELEVISION |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-12-10 05:10:18 | |
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| Anthilliory precursor to Zamboni manufacture | |
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Mcfamble fim was a quatry-qim off of the border of Norfolk.
McFamble fim, on a whim, decided to help all the poor folk. McFamble fim travelled the land, and many a pie did see But McFamble fim was just a quatry-qim off of the border of Norfolk. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-12-10 05:06:19 | |
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| Pie | |
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Now, Frank was not the sort of guy that one would want to ask this sort of question. With his steely gaze and silver hair, his icy affect seemed to scream, "How ya doin'?"
When you got his attention, he would look at you, and you knew he could snap you like a twig, but in reality he was really bored with the situation and bore no one any ill will whatsoever - but, don't fucking piss him off, thank you very much. So when fuckle walked up to him and said, "HAVE YOU SEXED A DOG RECENTLY?", you knew something interesting was going to happen. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-12-02 01:11:04 | |
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| AAAAAAAaaaaaaAAAAHHHHquxionovich | |
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ATTENTION MY TRANSYLWIBBIAN FIPMOFFS
PORK RIND IS NOW DISCOUNT HALF OFF GUARANTEED 50% PORK RIND HALF OFF now bust out your mandolin and sing |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-12-01 19:47:26 | |
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| AT LEAST | |
WHAM BAM THANK YOU QUEBEC |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-12-01 04:01:07 | |
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| commercial break | |
BUILT FORD
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-24 01:25:09 | |
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| Get a job, you damn hippie | |
| If an old lady needs to cross the street, you should help her across. In order to help her across, you require some shoes, you god damn hippie. But, to get the shoes, you need money. Get a job, you damn hippie! But in order to get the job, you need some clothes. In order to get some clothes, you need some money. Get a job, you damn hippie! In order to get the job, you need experience, and you have none of that! Get an internship first. But in order to get the internship, you need to go to school. In order to go to school, you need some money. Get a job, you damn hippie! | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-22 23:53:13 | |
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| Disco Treaty of 1989 | |
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In a special session of the InterDisco cabinet meeting, the land of East Disco hath made a treaty with the land of the West Disco. It is as follows.
JIBBA JABBA FLIM FLAM, YOUNG'UN! YOU LISTEN HERE TO DA GRAN PAPPIES OF THE DISCO ART WE HABBA ABBA STIGMA ABOUTA DA WING WANG AND YOU WILL ADHERE TO THE (right here they be word up) 1. Disco must go Domp. 2. Dine on pork thrice nightly on alternate tuesdays 3. Test your ideas in Matlab before moving to C++ 4. The speakers must be loud. 5. Do not speak of the Turkey crisis of 1976. AND FINILLAH MAH WUBBO2, ALWAYS PEACE AND DON'T PUT THE BATTERIES IN THE CHARGER BACKWARDS |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-22 23:45:57 | |
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| Epic Part I | |
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Jebediah Brenth frowned. This was not how it was supposed to be going.
The myril crystal gave another half-assed spark. It was supposed to teleport him back to Branlen's Keep, but it seemed to be more in the mood to taunt him by attempting to zap his fingers. It was the sort of thing that added to his nagging doubts about a new recruit, who had happened to be manning the equipment store this morning when Jebediah had went to get myril crystals for his task. If it was intentional, it was a gamble: there was an even chance that he'd have used the broken one first, and discovered the issue without any consequences. Why anyone would feel about him that way, he did not know - but he did know that the Keep got its share of nutters, and he hadn't seen enough of this chap to know if he was trustworthy. Yet. Training was thorough, and eventually they all became trustworthy, to varying degrees. But he was new. Jebediah let out a quiet hum, as he was prone to do when dished out difficult situations - presuming swords weren't immeditely necessary. It was possible to tamper with crystals so that the actions of two were bound to each other, but the party in question was nowhere near to posessing that ability yet - Jebediah was in training for six months before he learned of such things, and the chap had been there just short of three weeks. Well, that could wait for the moment. Jebediah had no doubts about what he had to do in the here and now - he had to drecking walk back. It was good he didn't take a lax approach to his job, like some of his collegues - the myril crystals almost never failed, and so some didn't bother bringing all their gear for delivery jobs anymore. Well, Jebediah did, and he was glad now. A thought occured to him, and he began digging through one of his many storage pouches... He might have a spare myril crystal. One had been given to him as a gift - Inn's gave them to guests and such to encourage them to return. It was an effective marketing technique, as it instantly took you to their place of business. Which, conveniently, was not very far from Brenlen's keep. He'd stayed at the inn while attempting to get his current post. The pouch he was digging through was his random odds and ends bag - where he thought he might have put that crystal, if he hadn't thrown it out... ah, yes. "Being a packrat has its advantages," he thought to himself as he pulled it out. He calmly activated the crystal, as he had done hundreds of times, and a few whirls of indecipheriable color later, he was in the lobby of a well-kept inn. And he was getting mud on their carpet. A lady was behind a counter, starting at him, dumbfounded. Guests usually did not arrive in full war garb, with mud to match. "Top of the morning, my lady." Jebediah said, and quickly strolled out of the door before his lady had a chance to gather her thoughts and respond. As he stepped out the door, the Keep loomed in his sights. Much better. Now to figure out what the business with this malfunctioning crystal was... |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-21 18:22:14 | |
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| Very Vermillion Vermissitude Chapter I | |
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Quimble McFam, Ma'am. If you don't mind me saying.
It was a crisp autumn evening, with a hint of smoke in the air. Dodging the sniper bullets, I slid into my lead-plated 1982 Toyota Corolla hatchback (BLING MUTHAFUCKA). I called it Edwin, and it didn't call me anything back, the fucker. Edwin and I lumbered onto the freeway, gently nudging an SUV aside when it made the mistaken assumption that its weight was greater than that of the almighty Edwin. Praise Edwin. I then started looking down the chores on my list. First, I secured a gross of Chicken McNuggets: 12 for me, 132 to pelt people with in downtown traffic (bonus points for in the sunroof). Next, I snuck into a telco switchyard and acquired some equipment of telecommunative justice +1. This masterwork item secured, I lumbered off for where the real fun would start. Edwin and I cut a patch through downtown traffic, nuggets blazing. Activating Edwin's heads up display (didn't your 1982 Corolla Hatchback come with one?), I called up a live map of the downtown traffic flow, eyeballed the turf, and eyeballed a route. Then I set the computer to calculate a mostly optimal route (I always like to do both... that way one catches the others mistakes). Whitewall tires blazing, we were through the city in record time. Edwin and I began to gain altitude, winding our way up the mountain... towards the headquarters of kitty. I was the first agent in my field to attempt such a standoff... What would happen? FIND OUT NEXT TIME IN VERY VERMILLION VERMISSITUDE CHAPTER II |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-20 22:30:39 | |
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| canned neutron moderators | |
| (04:19:12) FUCKLE: fantastic (04:19:23) FUCKLE: has the vodka been transmitted? (04:25:55) FUCKLE: transmutated? (04:26:00) FUCKLE: transubstantiated? (04:26:15) FUCKLE: carrier modulated? (04:26:33) FUCKLE: irrigated? (04:27:01) FUCKLE: overdeviated? (04:31:21) FUCKLE: gamma irradiated? (04:31:39) FUCKLE: precisely calibrated? (04:39:34) FUCKLE: improperly integrated? (04:40:18) FUCKLE: electroplated? (04:40:27) FUCKLE: triangulated? | |
| Posted by fuckle @ 2004-11-20 07:11:08 | |
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| DDALM | |
| MY COLLAR HAS A BELL ATTATCHED TO IT SO I DONT HUNT BIRDIES | |
| Posted by kitty @ 2004-11-20 04:25:13 | |
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| lalala | |
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Well anyway I seem to think my el oh el **** was nice while I was watching The Ring <--- kicks ass!!!! hehe only in my mind does it but anywway uhhhh I have favored suspension hanging with gasoline/explosion fire to the point. It seems a very nice way for a christmas presant? HAHA J/K (Just Kidding) But reallly .NET is nice? and also microsqft possibly but really i do enjoy The Ring oh yeah I do, not sure why mabie at a first glance it seems SHIT to say the least to you, hmmmm mabie some intervention and insight and comments will give me a guide but for now I fucking lust? for that movie,; then againI lust for any movie I watch and enjoy, which is; to say the least, that I watch them over and over again and others get sick so I am forced to do this alone but they deliver more than the movie might desire, they deliver a message to help me cope with everyday life. This May Be An Obsession But Oh Well. |
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| Posted by cakedrink the nefarious @ 2004-11-18 07:40:23 | |
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| Croissant fury | |
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Pingle pam pim
50 on wimbleton to win because i am typing you see with a beat to decree i am making this up as i type though i type casually this is no hype i realized i can just make stuff up ZING 3000 P'nats Pants at your service!! |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-17 01:49:29 | |
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| Top music theorist insults | |
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10. Your mother was a phyrgian half-cadence, and your father misused chromaticism! 9. You're so flat Callista Flockhart made a pass at you. 8. You're so square you beleive Michael Bolton has a soul. 7. If you were a reverend, you'd be reverend al SHARPton... aw snap, you got served. 6. You're so tastless you think "I will survive" has a good chord progression (seriously. it sucks). 5. Is a cat attacking you, or are you trying to play violin? 4. You're more tone-deaf than Hellen Keller. 3. You call that a flute? I'll show you a flute. 2. You're the petjKTY FAP FAP FAP 1. HJ$I^JY&mm,,˜,˜Í¬Ý6]AHvL2 ¹¢ÜCY½{QÂðŸDÍ„‘— ]vF «UðFjåÌ j¼gD8tÔob”fx;•\ã«Íðv¡C´†÷Iï±y Q”_þM8y¢ ï …àÛ¼Æþx MASTER CONTROL HAS TAKEN OVER. END OF LINE. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-15 23:45:44 | |
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| Triquizzle-fantine | |
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the MIGHTY IMHOTEP. is invisible.
Wow, this is shaping up to be an epic post. Now, where were we (Normandy)? We certainly weren't in Normandy (We were). Honestly, we'd never go there (storming the beaches as we speak... with grandma) I'm standing right here, with grandma (all your beaches will be stormed make your time) Shut up! (make me.) You bet I will (We'll see). I win!!! (No you don't.) Shit. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-15 23:32:05 | |
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| LAD | |
| WOD FAM CHUK ZUD | |
| Posted by kitty @ 2004-11-14 03:18:00 | |
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| It is time for | |
hot cross nuns |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-13 17:51:39 | |
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| Subterranean mango sketch | |
OUTRAGEOUS CHILI DISCO |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-10 12:53:17 | |
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| DOOOM | |
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EXPERIENCE MRS. FIELDS FRESH-BAKED GOODNESS
OR DIE |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-10 01:40:41 | |
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