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| YUGO |
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YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
| Danger Quibbet III | |
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I stepped through the nebula portal, not knowing what I would find on the other side. A pretty stupid idea, if you think about i- oh, I'm somewhere. I tend to let my mind wander when in hyperspace.
Pardon, sirs and/or madams. It looked pretty normal. Nothing really out of the ordinary, besides the complete grandma vibe of the room. Not that the design was tacky, but there were absolutely no electronics. I noticed a calender. 1954. A man burst into the room from a door behind me. This was not good for my blood pressure. "You must be the station president!" He cried. "Come quickly!!!211" I said nothing, and followed. He began to speak again as we moved down a hallway. "The hyperflux transmitter is broken, and we're told only you can fix it!" Drat. It must my partner's setup. Since we have the wackywhee time disguise suits on, we look exactly alike. It's handy. There's also a setting on the suits that make us look like the pope which we use on Halloween. He led me into a room, with a locked door at one side. He then looked at me expectantly. Right. Thank the gods for technology. I stuck my hand into my right front pocket of my suit, which is actually a link to a communal portal we can use to pass items back and forth. It has nice carpet and it's really cool. I felt around, and found a key he'd left. Bingo. I also felt something big in there... a piece of stereo equippment or something? I suppose ol' Trev wanted to upgrade his system, and shrugged it off. I opened the door, and went inside, locking the annoying dude out. Haha. I turned around to see what it was about. And then cracked up. In front of me was a shitty JVC VCR, which I'd give you good odds my partner was running the station off of. Hilarious, man. He probably was wowing the 50's crowd with modern TV shows, played over the shitty VCR, and gave it some shitty sci-fi name. And they ate it up. The VCR was apparently linked to a home-brewed mini-broadcast system, which was picked up by a nearby antenna and then amplified and sent directly to the tower. Simple, and clever. I now knew what that home appliance in the pocket portal was. I pulled out the replacement VCR and swapped it in. Flipping through the tape library, I selected, "Best of Goatse, Volume III." Excellent, just in time for the dinner crowd. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-10 01:10:24 | |
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| billings | |
| There it was. Billings. I'd never seen such a homely village. It screamed out to me with a sort of revenge. Something like "Get me out of this state. Now." It felt like the ground wanted to rip out and relocate itself to Missouri or something. I couldn't help but be empathetic towards its cause. I vowed to assist. The first thing I did was purchase a dress. I sewed a quilt square onto the ass. I needed protection, that was for sure. Anti-Billings-Relocation anal violators would try to have their way with me, and I knew that if I had to wear a dress, I would need to make it clear that my ass was off-limits. More on this later... | |
| Posted by DOLT45 @ 2004-11-07 21:22:55 | |
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| Quangle-ingle | |
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rMint. The Mint DNA. It was the perfect seasoning for salad, and I had to have it. To the grocery store I went, carrying my pocket gas chromatagraph. I identified the proper mint and made the purchase. Hurrah.
Mint in hand, I performed the complex rMint extraction. w00t. Excellent. In summary, Q is a lot of things to many different people. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-06 03:20:28 | |
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| quample | |
DANCE DANCE UZBECKISTAN |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-06 00:32:20 | |
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| Marmalade twank | |
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scroggle fim, m'lad.
Cheese-noodle dandy, pork-flavored candy. It's manufactured all fine and dandy. ultra-quib to you too |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-06 00:29:22 | |
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| FFFFFF | |
| CATS HAVE FUR ;;CATS HAVE FUR CATS H;AVE FUR CATS H AVE F/UR CATS HAVE FUR CATS HAVE FUR CATS HAVE FUR CAT;;S HAVE FUR CATS H;A;'VEg FUR C ATS HA VEhg FnUR CATS HAVE FUR CA TS HAVE FUR CATS .HAVE FUR CA7TS HAVE// FUR | |
| Posted by kitty @ 2004-11-05 01:04:26 | |
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| Zimberdoodle | |
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My '87 Toyota Corolla lazily careened towards the side of the street, only mildly damaging the fire hydrant.
Ah, the beauty of shitbox cars. I tended to buy $500 shitbox cars... because then I don't have to give a shit if it gets dented or towed. And no one fucking gives me shit at traffic lights. No one. Swinging out of the passenger side, I slid onto the sidewalk, narrowly dodging a low-flying walnut tree. Those things come out of nowhere, man. I headed towards the dingy, dark storefront, the only distinguishing feature of which was a faded turquoise logo that read "kitty". I marched in. Once inside, I wasted no time in my proclaimation: "Foo, baz, quux, bar, tell me where the fingulators are!" There was a sole creature behind the counter. kitty. The display case was totally empty, sans a few colorful pieces of yarn. "lollolol!" proclaimed kitty. "Zzounds, man, remit immeditely!" I demanded. "K dollars plz" kitty responded. I made with the dispensing of the dollars. Meeeeepsellent. It was all according to plan. The Toyota hadn't gone anywhere in my absence, so I slid in through the passenger side door, which I had conveniently left open. I swung a wide arc out on to the road, causing a pair of Lexuses to collide, one ramming the other into the glass window of a storefront (some store called "hamster"). I blasted across town, distributing karma retribution when necessary (sometimes it is so necessary). I pulled up another store labelled "kitty video production/grocery store". But I knew better than to be fooled by its benign exterior. It was really a factory of horrors. I walked in and approached the secretary. Some of their work was cycling on a monitor. Something about consuming A.D.D. remedies. "I'm Seargent Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker of the Hoboken Police Department. I need to visit your library and take a few select items." They couldn't argue with those kind of credentials. Man, I'm good at making shit up. I walked into the library. It was overwhelming. Entire scenes, odd noises, shapes, dancing wiggles, goatse, the pope, popese, kitties, magnets, john chiu, kitties, hitler, kitties, and lots of kitties. I walked out calmly with my materials. Soon, the plan would come to fruition! Then, I noticed my Toyota was not where I parked it. Fucking A. I got my car dealer, Roynaldo Dingo, on the phone. He had another beater I popped some quality transylvanian disco onto the stereo, swinging down the street. Man, this new ride was pretty nice. An ancient Saab. It wasn't quite greased lightning, but more like slightly greased lightning. Back in my lab, I used the fingulator's "permanent press" setting to synthesize the library's clips into an entirely new video... Yes, yes... soon. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-05 00:52:00 | |
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| Space prawn | |
| Craig T. Nelson wants you to join the BMG record club. Hambleturk fimmbillicle. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-04 03:32:13 | |
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| Quintessential alf flambé | |
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mimble wierdleton is transferring to fumpertron. can you find his bumblefinker before lime eats grout?
if you accept this quarterfink, and you are successful in your quest, you will be awarded thrity-threeve point threeve one for five nine golden flilinglewidgets. Do you accept this mission? You have selected, "Yes." OH NO A GRUE AAARehjkdfhgjknm.bn.c futzpink |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-03 20:28:47 | |
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| ARGH | |
CHEF BOYARDEE CAN SUCK MY COCK |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-02 20:19:20 | |
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| Howdy | |
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howdy partner
i hate to accuse you of testicular gesticulation, but this town ain't big enough for the sweedish and us |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-01 01:43:49 | |
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| National pact of Gruefunkistan | |
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ALL HAIL YE!! PUT DOWNETH THY NACHO PLATE AND HEAR HAIL YE!!112
Gruefunkistan! The nation I shall found on an island I will purchase! Muahahaa!!! Anyways... THERE HAS BEEN FAR TOO LITTLE POSTING HERE!@ THIS NEEDS TO CHANGE! zank fank wankentank yangtze-whee! the frank tank is headin' towards me! SAY THAT FIVE TIMES FAST! I DARE YOU!! ^____^ |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-11-01 01:18:30 | |
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| oi | |
LIE SAWL 2 jet me sinking dings
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bring it bitch
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| Posted by DOLT45 @ 2004-11-01 00:00:05 | |
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| meow | |
| my collar has a small bell attatched to it | |
| Posted by kitty @ 2004-10-31 23:51:36 | |
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| Happa woppa dirty stoppah, bling bling wabble wundah wattah | |
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HOLY SHIT!!!
There are NO POST-IT NOTES!!! How will people ever be able to engage in gueralla warfare in the corporate environment??? HOW? YOU MONSTER oh shit They've found me, they know I'm saying this!!! RUN!!! the thrice-buttocked limp-lobed anti-anti-ANTI-post-it note consortium!! please SEND HELP OH MYSHTISOGKLDFNbmmnmnnnnnnnnnnnnnquampunggdfh Chorus: Happa woppa dirty stoppah, bling bling wabble wundah wattah |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-10-29 00:02:02 | |
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| Squank | |
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IMBLE FIMBLE Quankle McQuimble My pants; fished an ocean of dispair. Fie; diachronic tandem, fie. My cake is tender and moist, like the suns of east asia. Pants ~~~ Juice liberally (C) 2004 RTQP!!!11 |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-10-21 01:39:13 | |
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| Squank | |
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IMBLE FIMBLE Quankle McQuimble My pants; fished an ocean of dispair. Fie; diachronic tandem, fie. My cake is tender and moist, like the suns of east asia. Pants ~~~ Juice liberally (C) 2004 RTQP!!!11 |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-10-21 01:09:34 | |
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| academic honda civic | |
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It is time for not. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-10-12 21:46:59 | |
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| w00t | |
| Krumbletron McFimble! I have my intellectual bling back! | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-10-12 20:01:40 | |
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| COHINGLE WAMP | |
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pants pants pants pants
wubba wubba i like da p a n t s. yo . . ....comin straightfuck mall security, fuck mall security!! AND OTHER HITS, ORDER NOW!!! in side news, grandma pelvis futures up 80% fidelity and stanley morgan have upgraded them to a "buy" status |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2004-10-09 00:49:56 | |
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