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| YUGO |
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YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
| Side note | |
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A side note:
Frau Snare Drum fails as a scientist. She encountered Mrs. Anus, and didn't bother to investigate her breath or manner of speech! |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-26 03:43:09 | |
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| A story to teach | |
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Good evening, all. I shall now take a break from my usual sleep-deprived diatrabe to present a few warnings for public consideration.
I am here to tell you of Randall Banister. I am here to tell you of Randall Banister, and I am here to tell you of the wrongs done by Randall Banister. I am here to tell you of Randall Banister, and I am here to tell you of the evils done by Randall Banister. Right from the beginning, I sensed that Randall Banister was a man of questionable ethics. I sensed something amiss... an air of thinly-disguised halitosis, that made one look twice (and then wish they hadn't). Rail-like, then and tall, Randall Banister passed himself off as a modest, well-to-do gentlemen. Standing there, boasting a beard and a dark gray trenchcoat, he bid me the time. "Ah, " I responded, still in a sleepy haze, "Perhaps, positing that I could locate my watch, I would look, and give you an accurate estimate. But alas, I have neither seen it in years, nor given a whit." "Your speech, should it be written down," he began, "would include far too many commas for comfort. And what sort of man doesn't have a watch with him?" My irritation at his breath issues then turned to mild irritation for his discomfortingly accurate observations in regards to my comma deliminated, excessive verbiage. So, I responded. "Cram a marmoset, you purveyor of expired eggnog!" I tossed out. "Obviously the same type of man as you, as you seem to be without one yourself." "Now, now," he responded. "There's no need for rudeness! I indeed have a watch! Unfortunately, its battery ticked away its last millivolt, and after replacing it, I must set it anew! Your attitude needs a coochy-me-coo!" I was fast becoming infuriated with his insolence. "Don't force me to ram a Lincoln Continental up your anus, fuckbag. I may be old enough to have burped Methusalah's grandfather, but I can still tango when I need to tangle!" With that, we switched to a 3D view and the battle music began. "Hahaha! You have made a mistake, old man!" he cried, taking a swing with his bastard sword. "235 DMG" appeared in the sky. "My goodness my pectorals!" I cried in shock, surprised with the viciousness of the initial attack. "That was good, but this shall be better!" I cried, describing complex runeic symbols with my hands (don't tell the church I do this stuff, please). "312 DMG" appeared in the sky. He then collapsed to one knee, clearly hurting. "I did not want to have to do this... but you make it necessary." He looked me in the eye. He looked me in his eye, then stood up, and in a swift, controlled motion, plunged his sword into the ground. The thing I knew I was on my back, staring at the stars (and the numbers "23562 DMG" appeared). His sword had magical properties beyond what I could have ever expected, I realized. I had, unfortunately, picked the wrong taco to tangle with. "Ha ha ha, foolish old man! You shall now respect the name of Randall Banister." With that, he was gone. I hung on to my life, and made it back to town in time for tea the next day (side note: no teatime is complete without Cheez Whiz and the funky fresh stylins' of Jesus). As one could understand, I was considerably irked at Mr. Banister. However, I did not hear of him for years. Then one day, my favorite soap, "Three cacti and a cuckold" was rudely interrupted with a political ad. Mr. Banister was running for the senate. "We'll see about that, Randall Banister!" I cried, grabbing my coat with a gleam in my eyee. Ten minutes later, I was securing the club on the steering wheel of my Buick Century. One can never be to careful. That task completed, I rushed towards the open-air stadium, towards the the platform of Randall Banister. Not just the political platform, but the actual platform - he was standing on a giant, red-velvet covered structure, running up a rhetrorical storm. Locating the positions of the cameras, I charged towards him. He was within my sight. I had him. Revenge would be mi- I then tripped and fell on my face. "262621 DMG" appeared in the sky. Randall Banister turned his attention to my fallen form. "Someone get that man some ice!" He calmly ordered. I saw a few flashes, as I was photographed. I was shocked - the ordering of ice for my comfort and safety was a generous offer. Randall Banister went into my good graces once again. The following day, he visited me in my hospital. Seeing him come in, I prepared to welcome him warmly. Then, however, I noticed that there were something off in his look. Stiffly glancing behind him to make sure the nurse was nearby, his demeanor changed entirely. His lip curled into a nasty, threatening shape, practically pointing to his twisted nose and hairly left nostril. "Listen to me," he began, halitosis in full swing, "If you mess with my campaign again, I will cram the kremlin so far up your ass that you'll be pissing vodka for the rest of your life! I am NOT afraid to use compound interest equations!" Shaken, and unable to do anything in my weakened state, I sat there, staring and petrified. As he left, I turned over the events in my mind. Then I halled out my laptop, and posted to this web site: "I once again question the ethics of Randall Banister. >:(" Now, after further considering the situation and recovering enough to defend myself, I have decided to post a public warning, and hopefully stop the election of Randall Banister. A vote for Randall Banister is a vote for ultimate annihilation and destruction of anything cute and cuddly. A vote for Randall Banister is a vote for chaos. A vote for Randall Banister is a vote for evil. Please heed my advice. RTQP out. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-26 03:25:39 | |
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| mrs anus | |
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OMG CHEX
the HONKLIM strikes BACK the world you better you bet
AND THAT'S THE END OF THAT CHAPTERsparky delilah at your service. |
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| Posted by Sparky Delilah @ 2003-12-26 02:25:30 | |
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| Rotational Irony | |
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Let me lay it all down for you:
ß©mpÑ5ÎÙÃ;‡ãÔ÷å>õ}žÏ=«’o²·hkÜÛ«üíaÀûdŸHÿ½5¨GGÖl;o€pôû„kSS·†‡Äu´]XªCìhÓ€mî´³ŠF¥ÀíÝ7¡îŠ½™›‘z…i=dû>‚}–R“g³¡Rò¸š‚HÓͬÝ6]AHvL2 ¹¢ÜCY½{QÂðŸDÍ„‘—]vF«UðFjåÌj¼gD8tÔob”fx;•\ã«Íðv¡C´†÷Iï±yQ”_þM8y¢ï …àÛ¼Æþx˜‡ÁW‰¡Ù¡Šša±–¾è~pnQŸ`ª}æ”Y¾Ë°ÒSØ\ö??Õ€‘KJV<ÅŸ¥^’ËÌ„ëËD´Ä5Š„jü×ÁˆÉk{‹ôK¶yGXB‹÷¡—ù_€ƒl™Nœø¤ì¹ŒÀ?͘R`uÓ<œÍÖuù×¼ìæ‡KöÕÁ„5TTš…Hk¶à˜Xê~tÐ_Žb毂âªñœväggWy3ÊÞkÂ…ØÊŒB†xÄrÖQ¬ödóIü´ë¨dâAŒÎd€ƒži©]BêI¸ëaõߌ—ÐÝ€Zu‡Q±F\À™Xý“3‰mÌéÚVH4QYûå©ÈPg8ÜÓÔvŽ¤×¦\]}¨yž‰§<¢\÷ñýÞ†×ýgVÀ5xÀIHn„¥roØq„ކǹ…õ¶œ`©Ëël»èl}5nüΩ®išÕâE¡‡AÁ˜…ôü«Ÿ°DXl6Qˆ¢¤Ò;…>r®œ¬vìШŠÈS>dÎõy¾Ô9Õ•\ìô¸5ºø4õAn©Ø:=¦s‡›ÈŽtA†§Ï©¸Ø‡ÕÆÀÈYÑ@eõÚ_XcðgfĺÐÎqÛÅê`{£{\©³O?´Þµ‰X˜ùЀ•¢¼:·êxJ‰Ð{†Ë‹ÆšVkDûl±qásÕVpA—8sNuγøܤ®Yës¬ÏÅ¿Îg£š¦l‡zùœ©‘9N¸Q[F°ÂŒˆwÂ^;è;ÉÍÛ]’ä܆‘ze×¢ ²DÄg>j÷u·}~u^^‰±d¿«®B;Qd„ªmÝêž3eS¶ûrcæM§®¯ÀàFƒÛi½ƒÝ‹Ý_Èê_ûøå·R¶°á}=š=où5·°Ÿ8Årûn}t{b¬Âi¨¨ýñeØІ³—˜MùV«¾H·ÉÒŠC˜¨>‡JPrý®j‡’?ŒôjVšx›ƒg@µ}¢ç‰¬€>HPPÎhN;ÀßœÖüž@²vk¾„\æQ„¯£ÈKu4Óïo`õYˆ|uû©žMê8ÔÅdó’ƃb®£‘·Ï?RG=¢ö`yé•bà@MøÝÛþcº²ùˆ>æSe¯}žî¢÷υͨ;:|‡}³W‹Rùj>×ÄfÔäüj‘íï™ç§‰ÚÇêQÑ»íÝÑѓɦTr’ |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-25 18:59:57 | |
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| Decree | |
| The time has come to pluck the Industrial Michael Jackson from the fields! | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-24 07:05:23 | |
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| play act II | |
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plz sri, i want som hax! WAT!!?!??! U WNAT SOM HAX? |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-24 06:36:58 | |
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| System console alert | |
| ur maxtor been h4x0r3d lollol111~~ | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-24 06:30:39 | |
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| Truly | |
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HERE'S YOUR WOMBAT FROM THE UNDERGROUND
NOTHING NEW, IT'S THE SAME OLD SHIT IF IT WORKS THIS GOOD, WHY FUCK WITH IT? |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-24 06:27:48 | |
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| Bah. | |
| I once again question the ethics of Randall Banister. >:( | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-24 06:25:02 | |
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| Notification | |
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Okidata makes tanukis!
And Kevin Mitnick hacked them! |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-24 06:24:15 | |
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| Fuckle & RTQP's Poetry Corner | |
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fuckle: squirming ramen chipmunk caught in the pornofized snare of mechanical anti-semitism RTQP: twisting, turning, chipmunk churning. break the screen, push the sky. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-19 05:05:51 | |
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| Famble | |
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[RTQP] she fears your catapult [[FC3]Droogie] well it's a catapult [[FC3]Droogie] it's supposed to be scary [RTQP] tie a ribbon on it [RTQP] and give it a fancy hat [[FC3]Droogie] but they don't have heads! [[FC3]Droogie] where do i put the hat? [RTQP] on the payload [[FC3]Droogie] ooh, good idea MERRY CHRISTMUKKAH TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT! |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-15 06:57:20 | |
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| hi | |
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<[UR]Einherja> I cannot believe I'm up at 4AM listening to fucking Scorpions and writing a damn paper on Richard fucking Stallman <[UR]Einherja> I want to sleep <[RIT]_OS43_> not really worth sleeping at this point <[RIT-Perkins]Qbert> I've never heard of Richard Stallman BE GOOD, KIDS, LEST RICHARD STALLMAN COME AND EAT YOUR FOOD WHILST INTOXICATED!!! |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-15 06:39:31 | |
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| Hi | |
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Have you seen randal banister?
that farfernutter has my best linens! |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-15 04:59:20 | |
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| Advertisement for dollars | |
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Hello, fine folk!
I have written a touching song entitled, "Push Grandma Down the Stairs," in the previous post. Please give it a try. If you like it, buy the CD to support the artist! |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-15 04:15:17 | |
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| DANCE | |
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DANCE, EVERYONE!
PUSH THE GRANDMA PUSH THE GRANDMA PUSH THE GRANDMA PUSH THE GRANDMA PUSH THE GRANDMA PUSH THE GRANDMA PUSH THE GRANDMA PUSH THE GRANDMA-A-A-A, PUSH THE GRANDMA PUSH THE GRANDMA PUSH THE GRANDMA PUSH THE GRANDMA PUSH THE GRANDMA-A-A-A, PUSH THE GRANDMA DOWN THE STAAAAAIRS! |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-15 04:04:18 | |
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| Hail | |
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Lucien Tacoweaver!
Hail and well met, sir! You must come quickly! There is something wrong at the castle! AND YOU'D BETTER GET YOUR BASTARD SWORD AND TRANSYLVANIAN DISCO SUIT!!! |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-15 04:01:12 | |
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| NEWS! | |
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THE POLL RESULTS ARE IN!
The new yogurt flavor is... KIWI HERMAN BOMB |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-07 06:39:32 | |
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| Help | |
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Who has the picture?!
...the one of the dreaded parcheesi match! What did it consist of? The answer: PARCHEESI DREAD |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-07 06:08:45 | |
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| AAAH | |
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HOLY CRAP, THAT SOUND WAVE CREPT UP ON ME!
and _scared_ me! Right up my parietal lobe it went! honestly, the deviant treachery... |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-12-07 05:55:05 | |
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