Riced Out Yugo
Bah.
fuckle has informed me that grandma is goimg to storm the beaches of Normandy!

*hours pass*

Damn. Well, I'm WAITING for my damn Normandic beaches to the stormed, but grandma is a slow old tart and is taking her damn time!

p.s. germans swarm my pants
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-11-29 04:39:16
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It is time.
DANCE DANCE PUNCTUATION

!$&*%#^&*#%^&*#*&%&*()#)()(@#&*^&*@#^*&43,...,.,/.///

OMG MAN, Stop that! You'll make Richard Nixon urinate on my carpet!

MESSAGES FROM FUCKLE:

fuckle: oh fuck fuckle: i want burritos fuckle: you bastard!!!!!!!!1 fuckle: welcome to icq

DRAT! He is offering competion! Well... he shall not outlast the mystic powers of hamble that I handily happen to possess...

Yes... one might say he will be... HAMBOBLIFICATED.

Oh dear... I seem to have the twitters!

And now, MUSIC!

Across the world... the message flies...
Information comes in pies!
It's not all yours, it is all mine!
I won't share the pies at any time!
We're all the all the alike, We share a motorboke, we play
If it's yes or no, the decision is easy, it's easy.
Zeroes and pies will take us there!

The time the revolution, will be super-pied
You'll know it as you bake it,
In real time, before you provide!
Slip between fruit pies
There's more pie to this than anywhere that you or I can see
The world is mine, the world is yours, and here's the cause
Zeroes and pies will take us there!

I've stared into the crust of it all
Seen the pies in the hall
The beat of a heart
The oceans part... and the pies in my mind...

This time, we've split pie once pie once more
There's those that have and that don't in pie recepe wars
We're not alone 'cos pies are growin, and they're everywhere, everywhere...
Zeroes and pies will take us there.

*applause*
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-11-29 04:29:29
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THE UNBELIEVABLY NEW TESTAMENT

CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:45:45 AM): !!..!.1.1!!.!>1.1!>!>!!!>!!!>!>!>>!>!!>!!!!>!!>!!!>!!!>!!>!>!>!>! CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:45:51 AM): h00h0h0h0h0h000h0h0h0h0h0h0h00 CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:46:03 AM): /[01:48] * Geoffd1 throws an MFM drive at Kazin [01:48] * Kazin deflects with a spare ESDI drive [01:48] Granted, they were vector graphics, but still 3D [01:48] my first pc was a 486... or was it a 386 [01:48] my first pc was a 486dx33 [01:48] * Geoffd1 twirls a series of CGA cards at Kazin [01:49] * Tresch (~tresch@12-216-51-34.client.mchsi.com) Quit (Quit: ) [01:49] i had a amiga 500 at the time i believe [01:49] * Kazin tosses back his stack of 5.25" floppy drives [01:49] * Geoffd1 catches the drives in his gaping maw. [01:49] mmm crunchy CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:46:10 AM): i think the Crystal Method has seized control of my muscles CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:46:35 AM): tell them that they should compute with PORK PRODUCTS CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:46:39 AM): I think Crystal Method has siezed control of your FACE CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:46:46 AM): THAT TOOOOOOOOOOOO CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:46:47 AM): I'll CRYSTAL METHOD YOU IN THE FACE CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:46:50 AM): homby wankit CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:47:22 AM): stop it CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:47:29 AM): you'll make nixon urinate on my carpet CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:50:22 AM): AAH CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:50:32 AM): THE EVIL SINUSOIDAL PATTERN STOLE IAN CURTIS CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:50:54 AM): "Love Will Tear Us Apart" is a great song CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:50:58 AM): [01:54] * Geoffd1 changes topic to 'Are you subscribed to the mailing list? If not your channel may be in danger of being taken over by the channel services. | BURRITO CONSUMPTION HOUR' CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:50:59 AM): heheheh CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:51:01 AM): if i died listening to it, i'd die happy CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:51:08 AM): oh fuck CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:51:11 AM): i want burritos CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:51:13 AM): you bastard!!!!!!!!1 CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:51:16 AM): welcome to icq CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:51:32 AM): fuck CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:51:41 AM): you just made me laugh so hard I inhaled my mint CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:51:55 AM): PRISM MINT CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:52:01 AM): IM PRISM MINT CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:52:09 AM): OMG ? MEANING OF LIFE CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:52:10 AM): ; CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:52:25 AM): hmam CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:52:33 AM): i think the sun is exploding in my chest CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:52:45 AM): are you SNORTING MINTS???? CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:53:19 AM): no CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:53:21 AM): inhaling CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:53:24 AM): via TRACHEA CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:53:27 AM): ohhhhhhh CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:55:34 AM): I CAN'T FEEL, I CAN'T SPEAK, I CAN'T THINK CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:55:38 AM): CAUGHT IN AN IDIOT PEARRRRRRRRRRRRr CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:56:02 AM): AHDSFLkj CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:56:08 AM): WHERE DO YOU GET THIS WISDOM CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:56:10 AM): THAT ROCKS CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:56:20 AM): what do you MEAN? CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:56:26 AM): it's so funny CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:56:30 AM): really? CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:56:37 AM): I am laughing harder than margret thatcher in heats CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:56:39 AM): hwat CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:56:40 AM): heat CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:56:41 AM): it's me mangling Jesus Jones lyrics CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:56:48 AM): I know CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:56:52 AM): that's why I find itr ufnny CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:56:53 AM): fun CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:56:55 AM): nny CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:57:16 AM): wat CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:57:24 AM): WELCOME TO THE DESERT OF THE SUNDAE CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:57:54 AM): I must rewrite a JJ song CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:59:28 AM): 5: nny CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF: CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL: I know CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL: that's why I find itr ufnny CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL: fu WELCOME TO THE DESERT OF THE SUNDAE CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL: I must rewrite a JJ songguin: wat CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF:guin: wat CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF: CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:59:33 AM): i am going to write the Unbelievably New Testament CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (1:59:37 AM): ehehehheh CORRESPONDENT BUTTERLOAF (1:59:51 AM): it will contain random AIM logs and a smashing recipe for cream of tomato soup CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (2:00:13 AM): haha CORRESPONDENT SORBITOL (2:00:23 AM): stop making me laugh that hard SMASHING RECIPE FOR CREAM OF TOMATO SOUP: Ingredients: -cream -tomatoes -1 salmon Squish the tomatoes with the salmon. Mix the cream with the tomatoes in a large bowl using the salmon as a stirring implement. Heat by creating lots of kinetic friction between the salmon and the soup. Serves anybody drunk enough to mistake it for edible food. Appendix A: Don't let grandma get near France in 1944.

Posted by fuckle @ 2003-11-29 04:25:15
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Vital mission
I am on a QUEST!

ALL MENTHOL MUST BE ELIMANATED BEFORE CLINT MANSELL REACHES THE MEXICAN BORDER, LEST NEW MEXICO SINK INTO THE BALTIC!!!

please help
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-11-27 05:38:45
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Cure for cancer
IT HAS BEEN FOUND!

The cure is:

1. Use teleportation device to remove cancer

If teleportation device has not been invented:
1. Find a less crappy cure for cancer

If a cless crappy way cannot be found,
1. Die
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-11-27 05:36:58
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IMPORTANT MUSICAL VENTURE
MANGO BOOGIE 3251
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-11-27 05:32:43
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h00m, h0m
DAMMIT, FRED, GET THE SECRETARY OF THE POSTERIOR ON THE LINE

I HAVE A NATIONAL EMERGENCY ON MY HANDS!!
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-11-27 05:29:29
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Important health news
I AM HERE TO EXTOLL THE VIRTUES OF THE CALIFORNIA PENAL CODE

It must make ginger ale sandwiches on the tides of time, such is the way of swirly things that go KAKAKAKAKA WUUUUMPIT!!

Governor neoprene testical announced today that he spotted a particularly disgusting fat person, cable of leaping entire fast food chains in a single bound!

THIS JUST IN!!! THE SIEVE OF ERATOSTHENES HAS CONQUERED NEW MEXICO! WE'RE GOING TO OUR LOCAL CORROSPONDANT, FUCKLE:

!!!11twotwo HAX IT GOOD

THERE YOU HAVE IT FOLKS!!11omeopdflkj;

What does this mean to the average consumer? Simple:

THE CALIFORNIA PENAL CODE WILL EXPAND TO THE BOUNDERIES OF JUDICIAL OBESITY, MILDLY DISGUSTING A CROOKED POLITICIAN, WHO WILL IN TURN BETRAY THE CHURCH OF EVILS IN ORDER TO FACILITATE THE SIEVE OF ERATOSTHENES' TAKEOVER OF DEATH VALLEY

IT ALL MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE

Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-11-27 03:24:24
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Yammo RAM is DANCE MEAT
MY FART IS LOVE and other calm dictionaries brought by someone's catheter under a twighly twighlight moon smoothie. Rocket smocks eat my lactose shampoo but you wouldn't know because there's a vagina on the van and a GARK on my shovel. Maybe make a lake out of Been0 and plot pluts but you couldn't just say could you? no, motherfucker, you just stuck your tacometer between my sweet lips and revved. OH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH give me a sunny day and a small canister of dried beef on toast with gracv.
Posted by DOLT45 @ 2003-11-24 23:14:44
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OH WOW

EXISTENTIAL FOODERQUOB

Haha, I am the phrasemashing domain master! Stick it, Stephen Hawking!

WORD TO STEPHEN HAWKING'S MATERNAL GRANDMOTHER-UNIT!

HANG

UP

THE RUTABAGA! Or the cactus will shoot spikey, tuna-digesting justice!

EXCELSIOR
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-11-23 03:31:03
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Midnight taco boomstick
My lord.

How little Fredward has grown!

Why, it seems just yesterday that he was sprouting marmosets out of his k-hole!

Yes, daaaaahling. I have... the flavert. It knows no limits and boundaries, except proper spelling of psychosugery terms. Indeed. Truly. RIIIIGHT.

Why, soon he'll be off to supervise the remote detonation of cherry-colored soccer wargear! We'll have to pick out is fancy loogiepants!

I'm not eager to ponder such a beast! The fruition feels will be GARGANTUAN! We'll grok that struuudaaawwoooofer when we cross it, I suppose. Frooit? I'd rather saw of my leg in a mile-high mescaline binge! *snort*

Honestly, dear. Watch it on the Magnificent M! My lord, I just set my galoshes on fire! Ah, it's only the fifth time this week! Excelsior!

Yes, perhaps you've had a bit to much Cactus Paste! Come, take your edifological medication! Today is OHMsday, so you tale the non-euclidian spotted one, instead of the the striped one resembling a degenerate Markov chain!

They certainly do taste nifty. Gimme!

No, no, dear! Only consume one of these mystical beasts! The prime rib cut is the best of the beast!

AHM AHM <-- chewing noises

Oh goodness my gaggle!

I AM INVINCIBILEEE!!! TEE HEHEHEHEHEH

I WILL KILL YOU MAN TYPING THIS SCENE EHEHHEhHHheHEh;ld

sghjg fsdfjkslff

ERROR: UNEXPECTED END OF POST
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-11-23 02:58:49
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datas on the information universtiry
IT IS VERY HARD TO TURN DOWN YOUR PHONE'S VOLUME WITH 100% UPTIME GUARANTEED!
Posted by fuckle @ 2003-11-21 03:58:20
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PORNO INFUSION!

h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0h0

Posted by fuckle @ 2003-11-17 14:31:39
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hi sirs and/or madams
please let go of the trout
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-11-14 23:04:16
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GOD HOVER in POP
^ ) ^ ) ^) )^^^^
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Posted by DOLT45 @ 2003-11-08 01:01:21
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More poetry
Communists are red
Smurfs are blue
TVs often explode
and so do you

now DANCE, my little ocelots!
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-11-06 01:21:28
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my hands are shamans and i danced with death. tonight was the mostspirituual experience. i dnt remember... i rmeember the building, the room. pink and yellow and black. but mostly black. fuck, i;m fallin, sinking,.... i;m sinking... nothing i s real anymore,.... music is the wave of trasnportation... follow it to the end and you will be where yu want to be, i love ou. i conduct adn the world comes back to life. did you miss me? the bass is diffferent? that's your problem. who am i tlking to? you. you kno you wan =t to. this is the end, i lied. i write, more more more more more more. i am not een writing this, someont else is and i'm usut watching.
Posted by Sparky Delilah @ 2003-10-27 01:26:36
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bound

NIHILISTIC CONJUGATION BOOGIE!!!!


NIHILISTIC CONJUGATION SHUFFLE!!!


NIHILISTIC CONJUGATION BUMBLEFUCK!!



clint mansell IS captain planet!!@6

PIE COPROCESSOR

Posted by fuckle @ 2003-10-26 03:29:59
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got rice?
lee asked if I had rice

I had bailey's instead

He had kahlua as well

we had a grand old time

end post
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-10-24 00:05:25
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Suzaphone
There was a cactus named alleteri

She asked me to dial a number ending in 59

Or maybe it was just maurua

My lips are numb

TEEE HEEEEEEE

Praise juan
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2003-10-23 23:42:32
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