rICEDoUTyUGO ~ ITS JUST FO DECORAYSHUN

Riced Out Yugo

YUGO

YUGO LABS

ALSO WIK

future economy
social media replaces professional sports and professional musicianship as pig trough careers, unskilled workers get replaced by robots, and computer nerds continue to get highly paid. cable tv slows and eventually collapses. 2600 magazine declares bankruptcy after chain stores learn to secure their computer kiosks (i got into the windows desktop on the stop & shop autodeli the other day!). stop and stop autodeli will be fully robotized; delicatessens replaced by huge industrial robots reminiscent of the kiosks used to transform humans into cybermen in dr. who. they will always cut it thin when you ask them to cut it thin, unlike hundreds of thousands of newly-unemployed high school students and 50yo trainables. these people will roam the streets in slack-jawed amazement at images beamed into their skulls by Google Lens, smart contact lenses with wicked intense augmented reality mental clusterfuck. life becomes a giant game. achievements are unlocked. top ten lists suddenly seem important. all it takes is one social media celebrity pizza guy to discount pizza guy wages by $3 because hopes and dreams fill up the slack. people sigh and say: this would work better if google didn't keep all the cash. the fuck do they do with it anyways?
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-05-17 09:32:50
Direct link to post	Read comments (1)

Pan Yard

Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2013-05-17 03:52:53
Direct link to post	Write comment

dream pet
1. Purchase hound; Name hound "Kurzweil" 2. Train hound to sit, stay, and prognosticate. 3. Singularity.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-05-16 22:56:22
Direct link to post	Write comment

YOUR PROGRAM
HERE IS YOUR PROGRAM FOR TONIGHT, PATRIOT STROKE AWARENESS WEDDING COLLEGE ACCESS PERSISTENCE HEALTHY MOUTHS GERBILS READING BOOK PEOPLE HEALTHY MOUTHS ELMO Movie DIRECT RESPONSE MARKETING IMAGE MEDIA AND MARKETING AUTISM PSA JAMIE MCMURRAY Use of adblock is illegal and will be punished with lots of legals under the maximum trout of legals permitted per legal.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-05-13 16:16:56
Direct link to post	Write comment

Drug Guru Scales Prison Wall
SAN LUIS OBISO, Calif. (AP) -- Timothy Leary, the former Harvard psychology instructor who became a guru to the nation's drug culture, has escaped from prison. The only clue authorities had today was Leary's blue denim inmate clothes, found in a service station rest-room a fre miles away. Leary had been at the California Men's Colony 200 miles north of Los Angeles since shortly after being sentenced March 16 to a six-month to 10-year prison term on a marijuana possession conviction. He was last seen by prison authorities two hours before a midnight bed check Saturday. Authorities said Leary either had a car waiting for him or hitchhiked away after climbing a 10-foot chain-link fence that separates the prison from the outside world. Officials have said they sent Leary to the minimum-security rural men's colony because he seemed unlikely to be violent or try to escape. Though described as a model prisoner, Leary, 49, was refused parole last month. His imprisonment was a result of one of many encounters he has had with the law since becoming nationally known as an advocate of marijuana and psychedelic drugs. After being sentenced six months ago, Leary said he had no ill will toward officers enforcing antidrug laws. "Two hundred years ago I would have been burned at the stake," he said. Leary's wife Rosemary, 35, and his 20-year-old son by an earlier marriage, John, were convited with him. They received six month sentences but have been released. The penalty for escaping from a California prison is six months to five years.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-05-13 05:55:22
Direct link to post	Write comment

crint5#20AB
Screw you yugo, get with the times why don't I have a 20 character limit. I suppose I could thumbs up a post but then that would just defeat the logistical/statistical tabarwacky. Share this on facebook, G+, twitter & postface. Want to be my friend? Let me run this blood test - bad cases of zombie going around these days. Reprogram the outer space in the void whilst creating a new oil painting. Are you happy? ARE YOU? I got 21.8874 reasons and I'm not going to deal with this one. So gas prices are fucking terrible these days man, yeah it's just these corporations, thats how I am I'm just anti multinationals. AntMalt est. 3872 #~ tightbeam [m.3897.28] post to yugo, guarinteed results, russian bride in 18 business days, transfer #~ PAUSE\|BREAK
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2013-05-11 23:36:04
Direct link to post	Write comment

wakeupmorn
>turn the dial 2 ceephax >roll teh greens into a green paper holder >friday morning acid >chillin' on yugo >put my sunglasses on >barrel baron in sector 5 >defcon 2
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2013-05-10 16:27:10
Direct link to post	Write comment

floyd the barber
Floyd teh barber can't eat a god-Danged cheeze cracker without making a mess, but he'll catch a glod-danged lizahd off teh carpeht witout droppin' a singlet hair bro....
Posted by shitbowl @ 2013-05-07 00:02:53
Direct link to post	Write comment

note found on car windshield
agent gretzky, matsuzuka von weasel will make the drop at the appointed hour. leave five bags of yard waste on the driveway as payment. at this point, it is too late to back out of the deal, even if we wanted to -- management is on board with this one. i'm sorry i can't tell you personally, but the deal at the stilt factory didn't go well, and i had to split. good luck with the scones. --agent tangerine
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-05-05 23:00:45
Direct link to post	Write comment

business as usual
Controversial rapper "Big Cheese" has found himself in a scuffle with bottom-feeding civil outrage advocate Sharptooth Al after rapping about desire to "swim in a river with the Cosby Kids." Bill Cosby teamed up with Sharptooth Al to mount a campaign against Big Cheese's advertising tie-in with "Surge" soda, citing the pain his fictional TV family had suffered throughout the dawn of the political correctness age. Big Cheese responded with a carefully-worded letter, but Sharptooth Al called it "unacceptable," as it stopped short of an outright apology. Asked for comment, Bill Cosby said, "I'm not actually offended; I know Big Cheese is just a moron saying offensive things to get attention. But, I'd be a fool to pass up this sort of opportunity to avoid irrelevance by garnering a shitload of news headlines. Sharptooth Al knows how I feel, given the recent meltdown of his overpressured, robot son."
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-05-03 23:11:29
Direct link to post	Write comment

Drinking Game
I have no need for detailed, fancy drinking games that require constantly looking up events from a table. There is one, and only one drinking game that has ever really suited me: Rule 1: When you drink, take a drink. Please try it this Cinco de Mayo.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-05-02 21:59:35
Direct link to post	Write comment

Toast
Variable toast. Removable toast. Never toast. Ham radio. Pork sausage radio. Super invisible radio. Radio toast activate. Radio toast accumulate. Super invisible pork toast radio will not feed the hungry
Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2013-04-30 22:38:28
Direct link to post	Write comment

t r
buenos aires is the santa fe of south america, and argentina is like france.
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2013-04-29 06:23:27
Direct link to post	Write comment

no significance
this post is number 3775, and this number is of absolutely no significance whatsoever. my batteries are not tadiran and the purple yam rainbow flux has settled down to unappreciable levels. the earth is full of the goodness of the wat (psalm 429, verse 96 820 and ½), and my brain is full of the goodness of the WAT ((resident annual taxation and revenue of the canister kind)). C-M-g is undefined. hwp ns dsa ldt hra omq prb
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2013-04-27 06:35:27
Direct link to post	Write comment

Yugo Brings You The Headlines
ALABAMA RIVER EXPLODES!!!!! APPLE TURNS PROFIT!!! GWYNETH PALTROW NOT UGLY more at 10.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-04-25 10:19:27
Direct link to post	Read comments (1)

i came to a realization once
One time I found out that there was one plot to every movie - someone writing a story from the point of view of birds, and us watching as he finds out that the plot to every movie is that he's writing a story about the birds. This makes me uncomfortable, almost unspeakably so; we don't know what birds think, but then we go and make a Twitter, where everything is a metaphor (a story) about how birds talk to each other, how they network. This parallels another peculiar feeling I have about bees, an adjacent thread, but I get the feeling that one is for a later realization.
Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2013-04-25 05:30:55
Direct link to post	Write comment

No Bet
"...I'm sure of it. I'll bet my third chin on it!" I declared. "No bet," Sgt. Erlschnitzel said. "You've been trying to get rid of that thing for months."
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-04-25 02:25:50
Direct link to post	Write comment

news article
furious prosecutors presented a list of midgets sexually assaulted by the dave matthews band under threat of sonic duress. the DA was on the case like wat on rice. for lunch, i ordered pasta on rice. it was nice
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-04-18 00:35:28
Direct link to post	Write comment

BOC Announces No New Album
EDINBURGH -- In a move that whipped fans into a frenzy, famed electronic duo Michael Sandison and Marcus Eoin, a.k.a. Boards Of Canada have announced that "there will not be a new album." The news was first announced by mdg, a visual basic program implementing BOC's fanboy service interface. "I'm very pleased to announce that there will be no new album," the sentient program wrote. The announcement was officially confirmed 0.72 microseconds later, via the band's official Twitter: Fan response was rapid and intense: "I'm very excited to not get my hands on this album," said Robin Van Poodle via Twitter. "It's about time they didn't release an album!" remarked Eatwife, a VST musician and defender of womens' rights. Others, however, expressed skepticism: "I'll believe it when I don't see it," mumbled techno legend Jeff Mills, before kicking Riced Out News out of his dressing room. Will there not be a new album? Time won't tell.
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-04-08 00:40:40
Direct link to post	Read comments (2)

Previous 20 entries