YUGO |
YUGO LABS |
ALSO WIK |
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Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2012-08-26 22:48:52 | |
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quantum hustle | |
i had to move the CyberWeaves by midnite, or the nanites would become useless (after the hair crisis of 2079, the amount of radioactive power gel nanites could carry became legally restricted). while i wouldn't mind being stuck with a single one for myself (i last combed my hair in 2172, at an expense of millions), i had no need for ten of the goddamn things. in fact, i'd be deeply in the hole. low-grade panic had been lapping at my brainpan all day. i was ready to wig out. move these suckaz. out of my goddamn hairhouse. or the goddamn cortese overlords would have my two-bit CyberWeave empire for breakfast.
but, thank god, the phone rung. it was the pope. he wanted fourteen CyberWeaves for the lads in his hairem. lying through my teeth, i placed an order for another four CyberWeaves with my non-dominant hand (as the pope would certainly know if i switched the hedset to my other mitt). my email blorted, alerting me that the wire transfer had gone through. i hung up with his holiness and called jimmy three-shoes to let him know i had his money (and to ask him if he could help me move a CyberSofa later). he responded by inviting me to a barbeque in the froznian nebulae. i was moving up in the world. a good quantum hustle can do that for ya |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-08-24 16:36:42 | |
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My drive today | |
So I was rolling through the countryside at reasonable speed. The police vehicle that was indicating left started indicating right when I passed it. I was sure that they would stop me, lacking the ANPR they desperately needed they were not aware of the fact that my car was perfectly legal. Maybe it was the bird shit that did it. I knew I should take better care of the cleanliness of my car... As I had just procured some fine bud, frustratingly, in different bags, I was not keen to deal with police at that current moment in time. I figured that it wasn't failure to stop if they hadn't tried to stop me yet. Once the corner had passed my knowledge of the road helped me survive. Such speeds had only be achieved by Captain Picard. Once I had achieved enough distance I switched left at the nearest dirt road and put my precious stash where I could find it later. I then proceeded to unleash a piss in order to legitimise my abrupt dirt road detour. As it turns out they lost me anyway... my cars engine stopped out of fear when I departed again and I drifted down the rest of the hill. Once it cleaned it's underwear I was ready to go. I am going to skin up now. Goodbye and god bless all living entities. |
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Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2012-08-20 18:04:30 | |
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the other perspective | |
the lexus rx9000's luxurious exhaust belched hate in every direction. i rocketed through backroads, feeling no mercy for cat ladies in toyota avalons. i swerved with terrifying intent, ironically justifying their cautious driving (though i never think of this outside of my saturday night laphroaig sessions). i hurtled around the corner, feeling the g's. massacred lamb skin kept my ass perfectly level. as i blasted past some lad taking a walk, merely inches to spare, i felt truly secure in my position as a rich, white, asshole | |
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-08-18 17:28:02 | |
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Bounce radius | |
As I turned swiftly to the side the object dropped into the depths with a dull thud that somehow resonated in past experience of dropping things. The metallic object was circular in shape with minimal weight. As the drop proceeded and gravity did it's thing time slowed to a near standstill, my central processing systems desperately pumping all resources into calculating the estimated bounce radius. Alas, the estimated bounce radius was much higher than expected! A search team had to be dispatched immediately to clear the area and avoid contamination. The search radius was doubled when disbelief amongst some of my chief scientists circulated regarding the lack of results thus far. In the end it turned up under one of my socks. | |
Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2012-08-13 07:13:08 | |
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hackneyd sock | |
have you seen my socks bro? I cant leave the house with out my socks man those ones there are wet and i can't just sit here all day with no socks on; have you seen my other ones? I CANT LEAVE THE HOUSE WITHOUT MY SOCKS BRO!61 this shite on tv sucks i gotta go leave the house dude have you seen my socks where are they oh i thought you said you saw some socks man... do you know where i can score some socks brah? | |
Posted by shitbowl @ 2012-08-12 20:22:27 | |
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automated association | |
salam morris will be easier on my hands and literally live in europe back so that proves that i guess yeah ya'll come on the road of of blood months of the year that's that's that's mostly my karla faye you've also made that boatright he sold the leather in europe no i haven't had a sense that they were the pick up that i know i've been out of the laptop will hold the so in the field for duran that you've been distributed yourself in it and with this with your new record that it that just come out but you also just record of the time waking yeah i got got a chance to play a compassionate based on freight based on on album which is the orphans collection in a i was sort of a fluke initially i was called to place boats off got to meet a man of somebody's definition well silent i'd like to think so isn't that before i turn here headed home press troops music festical july eleventh and twelfth and uh... thank you that one guy we've got about eight minutes left ok uniquitous grease and maybe a song and it happened that i think we can all right himmat that i'd like to stolen objects that have been in the mood because standards even though the proponent in this is how it starts to happen and this is what happens sometimes in the system on the part of the and this is a permanent contributes the whole point of and now it comes to pass health artificial demand artificial campaign dependant can you tell me pink yes has been casey there questions but justicles vocabulary don't think it's no planet drinking and premeditation computer screens markers don't demand as well as a permanent connection overthrown protection over paying and just because the crawling don't need alll stains deductable overcame facing building humankind hit dotted states had strength here all right and zakat someone sale hotel startup alveolar boats dot blot crawling democrats and the textile three pentagon got barn garcia |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-07-31 08:11:01 | |
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Be afraid | |
YOU MUST BE AFRAID. OF EVERYTHING. "He calmly walked across the road and repeatedly asked for the time. When someone finally answered he pulled a handgun out of his pocket and fired one shot to Mr Bidve's left temple." DON'T EVER GIVE ANYONE THE TIME. THIS IS A NEW DANGER/FAD/THREAT TO SOCIETY. TERRORISTS COULD BE IN YOUR HOUSE. TIME HAS NOW RULED TO BE DANGEROUS ENTIRELY. TIME HAS NOW BEEN BANN- |
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Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2012-07-26 14:37:04 | |
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crazy person shoots citizens | |
horrible news, some crazy person shot some citizens
fnord it happened in a public place. the news is talking about it a lot the same thing could happen to you the incident has affected the president deeply but the government is here to help no one is sure why the crazy person did what he did you might be crazy too he very well could have been your neighbor and if you aren't yet, here's something to be paranoid about he got the stuff for the attack from the hardware store and the internet now that you're paranoid+crazy, please open your checkbook the attacker acted alone, there were no red flags; no warning signs do you want to be on tv? now, time for a commercial break what she said |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-07-23 01:59:59 | |
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... | |
Did you ever get the feeling that hardly anyone is "real"? In other news: 34987329874389759738927572064180650967926729749279068589237932 |
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Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2012-07-18 18:41:12 | |
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communication problems | |
turbo eddie has da stuff. u have ta get dere rite quik, or its gunna be a mean trip up da rewt canals. klepzkersorskien iz da man 2 talk 2 on da issue. make sure youz maek da drop da way we talked bout. sawwy eye soundz liek soem old-skool mewuvie jerkoff whiles talkins bout da job, but i ust ad me istom eef oot | |
Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-07-18 01:27:36 | |
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Magical adventure to the shoe warehouse | |
REDUCED FROM £25 HOLY SHIT |
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Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2012-07-17 15:51:45 | |
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IT'S THE CAT'S PAJAMS | |
and also all sorts of other animals clothingstghe bee's knees the biscuit's junket the stevedore's pension fund the wet bandits' calling card the charititian's slush fund the nixon's nose the ricer's fin the green pistachio wait what were we talkin about again |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-07-12 00:41:15 | |
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HEY BUDDY | |
....whatever you call it, |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-07-05 02:04:46 | |
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M88ooooo888moo | |
________MMMMMoooooooooooM8888888, ________M6ooooMMMmoooooooM888888888, _____Mmooo8oooooooooooooM88888888888, ____MmmmooooooooooooooM88888888888888, ___Moooooooooo8888888M8888888888888888, __Mooooooooooooo88888M88888888888888888, ___MmooooooooooooooommM88888888888888888, _______M88ooooo888mooMM88888888888888888, ________M88888888oommooM88888888888888888, _________M888888ooooMM8888888888888888888, _________MooooooooooM888888888888888888888, ______888MoooooooooM8888888888888888888888, ___888888MooooooooM88888888888888888888888, __88888888MoooooooM8888888888mmmm888888888, _888888888Mo8oooooM8888888MooooooooM888888, 8888888888Moo8oooM8888MM8ooooooooooooM88888, 8888888888Mooo88ooooM888MoooooooooooooM8888, _M8o8888ooo8oo88ooo0ooMMoo888oooooooooooM88, Mooo88888ooo8o88o8oooooooooo8888oooooooooM8, Moo8888o8ooooo8ooooooooooooooo8888ooooooooM8, Mooo88oooooooooooooooooooooooo888888oooooooM8, Mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo88888888ooooooM8, _MooMooooooooooooooooooooooooooM888ooo88oooooM, __Mmoooooooooooooooooooooooooo888Moooo8oooooooM, ___Moooooooooo8oooooooooooooo8888MMooooooooooooM, ____Moooooooo88ooooooooooooo88888MMM8oooooooooooM, ____Moooooooo88oooooooooooooo88888MMMMoooooooooooM, ____Moooooooo88Moooooooooooooooo88888MMMMoooooooooM, ___Mooooooooo88Moooooooooooooooo8MooooMMMMoooooooooM, __Mooooooooo8MMooooooooooooooo88MoooooMMMMooooooooooM, _Mooooooooo88MMoom888mooooooo88MooooooMM_MMoooooooooo, _M8moooooo888MMoom@@8moooo8888M8oooooooMM__MMooooooo, M@88moooo888MooMom8@8mooo8888MooooooooMM___Mmoooooo0, _*M8mooo8888MooooMm8mooo888M888ooooooooMM___Moooooo00, ____MMMMMM8888oooooMMmmmmM88888oooooooMM_Moooooooo0, __________M88Moooooo8888888888oooooooooooMMoooooooooo, __________M88Mooooo8o888888888ooooooooooooMoooooooo88, ___________M88Mooooo8ooo888888oooooooooooMooooooo8888, ____________M888Mooo888ooooo888ooooooooooMoooooo8888M, ____________M88888Moo888oooooo8888ooooooMooooooo888M8, _____________M888888Mo8888oooooo8888oooMooooooo888M88, ______________M8888888Mo8888ooooooooooMoooooooo88M888, ________________M888888M88888oooooooooMoooooooo8M8888, _________________M8oo888M888888ooooooMoooooooo8M88888, __________________M8ooooMM88888888ooMooooooooM8888ooo, ___________________MooooM_M88888888MooooooooM888ooooo, ____________________MooooM_M888888Mooooooo8M88**ooooo, _____________________MooooM_mmmmmmMoooooo8Mmooooooooo, ______________________MoooQooommmmMoooMMooooooooooooo, _____________________MM88ooo8ooooMMMooooooooooooooooo, __________________mM8888M88o88mMmoooooooooooooooooooo, ____________mMMMoooooooooM888Mmoooooooooooooooooooooo, _______MMMMoooooooooooooooMMooooooooooooooooooooooooo, ___MMMoooooooooooooooooMMoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, MMMooooooooooooooooooMMooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo8, oooooooooooooooooooMMooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo888, oooooooooooooooooMMooooooooooooooooooooooooooo8888888, oooooooooooooooMMoooooooooooooooooooooooooo8888888888, oooooooooooooMooooooooooooooooooooooooooo88888888888M, ooooooooooooMooooooooooooooooooooooooo8888888888M____, oooooooo88Mooooooooooooooooooooooo88888888888M_______, oo8888888Mooooooooooooooooooooo888888MMMMMMMMMMMM888, 8888MMMMMooooooooooooooooooooo8888M888888888888888888, 8MMM888Moooooooooooooooooooo88M8ooooooooooo8888888888, 88oooooMoooooooooooooooooooMMoooooo888888888888888888, 8888888M8888oooooo88ooooooMoo888888888888888888888MM, MMMMMMMM888888ooo88888oo8Mo8888888888888888888888888 | |
Posted by Rick Moran Is @ 2012-07-04 00:58:59 | |
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Welcome | |
Riced Out Datas of Interest: - Q - Hats - Replacement tubes - Quantum foam - Headerimg self awareness |
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Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2012-06-29 11:26:59 | |
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Problem Solver | |
This simple and cost effective problem solver, designed and tested by health care professionals like you, could be just the solution you've been looking for....The caps are packaged in a highly engineered, convenient 10-pack tray that has been formed with a special integral wrench construction. This allows the practitioner to attach the sterile cap directly to the syringe...while the cap is still sitting in its tray. Just fully twist the syringe onto the cap and remove both from the tray. This helps minimize "touch" contamination.Not responsible for typographical errors. All prices subject to change without notice. |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-06-28 17:25:13 | |
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9yo hax | |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-06-28 13:40:28 | |
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agent flatwok | |
"FLEEP FLEEP tango delphi snoot snoot wombat" i blatted at the radio
"blurrarreeep blapblapblapppp" the radio squelched "agent flatwok, do you hear me? come in agent flatwok. agent otl is now less than an ideal model. my plumbing is lucid. over." there was a pregnant pause, and i finally got a response: "sir, this channel is for the mcdonalds drive-through. could you please stop transmitting on it?" "foul wench!" i cried "put on agent flatwok immediately. he told me he'd be available during breakfast hours!" before she could reply, we were interrupted by 400lbs of average american family ordering sliders of lardrockets. |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-06-27 17:26:07 | |
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strafford streaming | |
streaming scraps of strafford apps * stirring shit; starting cisco collapse * leaving scraps of scraps of strafford streaming apps * apps take naps leading to strafford collapse $10mil lost in a day. the board sacks upper management. in the chaos, no one ever got around to reconfiguring the router. i'd fix it, but hey... i'm just the janitor. |
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Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-06-25 15:46:50 | |
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