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| YUGO |
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YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
| HISTORY OF THE INTERNET | |
| the internet grew out of DERPANET, a top-secret military project intended to build a system capable of turning absolutely anything into a game of telephone, even after withstanding a full-scale nuclear attack. eventually, pirates found a loophole in this system, and used the internet to transmit illegal episodes of "the jersey shore" with minimal error. indeed, only the commercials seemed to go missing, with the rest of the signal only weathering some lossy encoding. this greatly angered the socio-military-industrial complex that had birthed DERPANET/the internet, and so it passed a bunch of laws intended to put a stop to this monkey business. the internet responded in typical form, passing the laws around and adding trollface on top until fbi.gov concluded it was being DDoS'd. fbi.gov responded by arresting the largest, slowest, most obvious internet user they could find, kim dotcom. the internet responded in typical form, by passing around youtube videos of kim dotcom driving a mercedes benz on a golf course until microbing.com concluded it was being DDoS'd. microbing.com responded by "tying" all their products together, clenching tighter than the pope's arsehole (capable of turning carbon into diamonds after being penetrated at the age of 12 by adolf hitler). the internet responded in typical form, installing ubuntu until microbing.com went away. the socio-military-industrial complex said "FFFFFFFFFFFUuuuuuuuuuuu" and the internet responded in typical form, by replying to the email with goatse. the end | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-02-19 22:23:25 | |
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| page 2 | |
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1. post install operator driver disc 2. for installing windows in year of the water pig, become one with section 14q. for OSX, press OK and clench bowels mightily. linux is poor support 3. setup wizard guide you to computational elders 4. hot iron rod brands new volume "name" of user specification 5. reboot |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-02-07 10:45:00 | |
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| page 1 | |
| thank u for purchase kingston whateverthefuckq 200. we hope u put in computer long time. 90 day long time war and tea | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-02-07 04:24:21 | |
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| a city of syrup-encrusted lard rinds | |
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we entered the international house of pancakes, against my better judgement. porkhat 54 had demanded a triple-stack with a side of lardon, so in we went.
the entire place was coated in a thin residue of syrup. the waitress showed us to a booth, and my ass immediately formed an epoxy bond to the plastic. there was a tray on the table with crusty syrup dispensers, bearing descriptions that utterly terrified me: burberry. butterscotch. fancybrine. and their lardon was fucking shit, too. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-02-02 08:29:58 | |
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| You Can Trust The Yugo | |
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we live in an era of egregious, invisible corporate magnates curtailing our right to pirate reality tv (because it's worthless anyways) and post funny cat images (because we like funny cat images).
just look at some of these recent violations:
enough already. the yugo has been here since summer of 2003 -- before the internet was "social." yes, the yugo is, in fact, staunchly anti-social. we are the elite 54%. we guarantee to absolutely not give a fuck about you and your personal data. we will not track a damn thing, because it's too much of a hassle to write the code. we guarantee to be just a stupid fucking site on the internet, and not some entity bent on possessing as many internet souls as possible. because, in truth, not all internet souls are created equal. many are fucking crap, in fact, and we find the idea of trying to lure them here in order to announce "readership increased" next quarter to be abso-fucking-lutely insane. don't tell wall street. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-01-30 03:37:09 | |
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| massive qauntities of pig meat | |
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54% of these turtles smoke teh bluntz as they say. It seems kinda low to me too, but, when a turtle can't choose a VoIP provider it ain't the end of the world; just the end of snow on the Promenade De Anglais which means only one thing: "Curtailment" of your business VoIP service. Low requirements, low maturity, the man sticking a big, hard one up your shabby, old RJ11. Throwin' ya a new RJ45 complete with unlimited pornography, HD movie streams, and government surveillance. But don't worry, a good ol' chap is walking 2 miles in the midwest and he is mad as hell... Be the 54% |
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| Posted by shitbowl @ 2012-01-29 21:23:47 | |
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| Yoga For The Flexible Esquire, Chapter 12 | |
typical daily exercise routine for "young go-getter" level
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-01-13 18:23:59 | |
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| Typical Reaction To Riced Out Yugo #15 | |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-01-05 00:22:42 | |
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| Party Trax | |
in a display of blatant, shameless, sell-out-ness, we interrupt your usual stream of exponentially incomprehensible wat/nonsense to impore you to "link" riced out records' latest, great-er-est release, "Party Trax": moar nfo & fotoz Download In MP3 Download In FLAC |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2012-01-03 03:34:43 | |
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| typical reaction to riced out yugo #14 | |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2011-12-29 03:03:08 | |
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| having considered our predicament | |
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Words that were long ago moved through time and space. The Arsenal: Somewhere in the 7th ring of Alpha Machanicus, PNRFNE's long forgotten arsenal of thoughtsculptors (37) gathers dust. No one searches for them, not even PNRFNE. His mind is empty. The taciti (19) STUMBLED upon it in the 7th era, but the discovery wiped their minds clear. FRIRA hid the arsenal with his lunar apparatus. Grains of Sand (access file 21:37:00): Somewhere in that deep desert, PNRFNE blinded (43) himself. THIS IS THE BEGINNING. --not supposed to find his molecular lifeboat-- He had escaped the last cosm altered (37) like all the other(s). Their names were FRIRA. They had no name. The Graphite Cube: Was not a mere distraction, but the purpose remains unknown. FRIRA built it with her lunar apparatus. The Library: He had abandoned the searchers, or perhaps they had abandoned him. PNRFNE was blind, yet he opened his eyes. The grain of sand. THE GRAIN OF SAND. FRIRA SHE HAD NOT STOPPED HIM YET. THE INFORMATION AT ADDRESS 0xZX7@$$$$%^$@! HAD BEEN CORRUPTED (79). Her voice had defiled the library, shattering the structures. PNRFNE's RAGE (29) The Spider: FRIRA had left our friend a surprise. Used their twisted (31) lunar apparatus to build an 8 legged machine, a mechanical poison, a technological illness. The illness replaced PNRFNE's spine before he could react. PNRFNE's rage grew a thousandfold (29). The Prayer: FRIRA tunneled into the void, altering (37) herself yet again. There was no more hope for this universe. She did not know if PNRFNE could follow, but she prayed to the machine. |
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| Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2011-12-28 07:19:00 | |
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| BOY LAUGHS AND COMPUTER BURNS | |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2011-12-22 04:41:07 | |
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| FACTOID1 | |
| Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to be a fish and he'll jump the shark. | |
| Posted by Rick Moran Is @ 2011-12-17 17:07:51 | |
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| typical reaction to riced out yugo #13 | |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2011-12-15 05:11:04 | |
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| typical reaction to riced out yugo #12 | |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2011-12-15 02:38:51 | |
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| uncompromised diversity | |
| ...While dreaming of ethically disemboweling a member of some unknown public transit authority, reading Mark into John, bypassing Luke altogether, contemplating effervescence, practicing hyperfukbot impersonations and searching the internets for nude photos of Tim Tebow... I suddenly realise... riced out yugo is my econ major. | |
| Posted by shitbowl @ 2011-12-13 15:34:10 | |
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| will nature make a clam of me yet? | |
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| Posted by fuckle @ 2011-12-08 22:45:11 | |
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| Do not microwave | |
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I am alone here, alone but not cold. I do not envy your life. Neither you nor your melamine wife. |
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| Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2011-12-08 00:01:51 | |
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| Trollface circa 1968 | |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2011-12-06 21:56:41 | |
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| Let's build a Roquefort! | |
We will need:
Assemble ingredients in a pint glass, stir, and drink that shit. |
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| Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2011-11-27 19:54:47 | |
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