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| YUGO |
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YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
| unfavorable review | |
| I WENT TO THE MALDEN SMOKE SHOP ON PLEASANT STREET THAT I'VE BEEN GOING TO NOW FOR ABOUT A YEAR SINCE IT OPENED. THERE IS A WOMAN AT THE FRONT DESK WHO IS SHORT WITH SHORT BROWN HAIR. SHE TREATED ME HORRRRRIBLY. I CAME IN TO GET CIGARETTES FOR MY SON WHO HAS A BRAIN TUMOR. BUT EVERYTIME I GET THESE CIGARETTES ALMOST ALL OF THE TOBACCO FALLS OUT OF THEM. SO I ASKED THE WOMAN AT THE DESK WHY THIS WAS HAPPENING, SHE SAID THEY THEY WERE JUST LOOSE AND THAT THEY WOULD TIGHTEN ON THEIR OWN. THEN! SHE STARTED BLAMING *ME* SAYING THAT I PUT THE TOBACCO IN THE MACHINE THE WRONG WAY! BUT THERES ONLY ONE FREAKIN WAY TO DO IT!!!!! I TRIED TO STAY CALM. BUT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF ME STATING MY COMPLAINT SHE TOLD ME TO *SHUT THE FUCK UP* *STOP MOVING YOUR LIPS OR I WILL PHYSICALLY REMOVE YOU FROM THE STORE* * SHUT UP OR I WONT GIVE YOU SERVICE* SHE CONTINUOUSLY INSULTED ME AND TOLD ME TO SHUT MY MOUTH, STOP FLAPPING MY LIPS. ETC. SHE WAS EXTREMELY RUDE AND HUMILIATING. SHE BROUGHT ME TO TEARS. I HAVE SEEN HER TREAT OTHERS THE SAME WAY SO I REALIZED QUICKLY THAT THEY STOPPED DOING BUSINESS WITH HER AND WOULD RATHER WAIT IN LINE FOR SOMEONE ELSE TO ASSIST. I KNOW MANY OTHER PEOPLE OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD WHO GO THERE THAT CAN VERIFY THIS. I WILL KEEP POSTING THESE BLOGS EVERY DAY TO LET EVERYONE I KNO AND EVERYONE I DONT KNOW. EVERYONE WILL SEE THIS. MY CHILDREN WILL BE POSTING IT ON FACEBOOK AS WELL. I HAVE TALKED TO PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY WONT DEAL WITH HER BECAUSE THEY'RE AFRAID OF BEING EMBARASSED AND HUMILIATED. THIS WOMAN IS NOT A PEOPLE PERSON AND SHE SHOULD NOT BE RUNNING AND OPEN BUSINESS SUCH AS A SMOKE SHOP WITH THE ATTITUDE SHE HAS. SHE DOES NOT DESERVE THE BUSINESS THAT GOES THROUGH THERE. AND WHEN I'M THROUGH SHE WONT HAVE A BUSINESS. ANYONE WHO CANT FIND THE RESPECT TO LET SOMEONE SPEAK THIER MIND AND THEN DEMAND THEM TO SHUT THIER MOUTH, SHOULD LEARN RESPECT AND SHUT UP THEMSELVES. I WILL NEVER SET EVEN A TOE IN THIS SHOP AGAIN. I'D RATHER PAY FULL FOR MY CARTONS THEN BE TREATED THAT WAY. I WILL ABSOLUTELY MAKE SURE THAT THE WORD IS SPREAD ABOUT THIS. MY SON IS IN A BAD STATE AND IS NOW EVEN MORE UPSET TO HEAR I WAS TREATED SO WRONGFULLY AND THAT I COULDNT GET HIS CIGARETTES TODAY AND THAT I WONT BE GOING BACK. SO I SUGGEST TO EVERYONE IF YOU WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE AND BE TREATED KINDLY AND COURTEOUSLY AND WITH RESPECT, FIND A NEW SMOKE SHOP. I CANT STRESS THIS ENOUGH!!!!!! | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-11-20 13:44:00 | |
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| harrison ford put some lsd on my tounge | |
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the other day, i was exiting the neighborhood russian market. i had a pair of baltika 4's and little expectation of finding anything other than my car in the parking lot (even this wasn't certain, in fact). however, not only was my car there, but so was harrison ford. he was leaning against the whitewashed concrete back of the market, smoking a cigarette. he was actually right next to my car. like, if he'd decided to sit on a car instead of lean against the wall, he'd have probably picked my car. and maybe even dented it. that's how close he was to my car. so i figured, you know, this is enough license to hassle him with some awkward/weird fan interaction.
i walked up and plonked my beers down on the roof of my car, then looked him in the thankfully, harrison ford was not phased. "man in the parking lot!" he replied. we shook hands. i leaned up against the wall next to him. "so how're fings" i ask. "oh, you know." he says. i nod, and a moment passes. "so what'd you buy?" he asks. "two liters of baltika 4. want one?" "is that a beer? nah." i suppose it was 11am. "it's a spaceship," i mumble. harrison ford boggled at me. "...in my mind." i hastily amended. i realized that harrison ford was now listed amongst the victims of my strange sense of humor. as i processed this, harrison ford spoke again: "i am many things, inside my mind." now it was MY turn to boggle. "i, er, didn't bjork say that in an animated gif?" i ask. "probably." i figured the ice had melted a bit by this point, so i busted out an actual question: "so, yeah, what was up with that conan o'brien appearance?" "Acid. Want some?" I did. He produced a baggie of sugar cubes from his pocket, and instructed me to stick out my tounge. he made some mystical noises and motions before gingerly placing a pair of cubes on my tounge. "best run along home now, lad" he says. "you're indiana jones and the boulder has just started rolling down at ya." i nodded. "a pleasure, mr. ford. good day to you." "good day, man in the parking lot." i remember driving home, but after that it gets much harder to explain... so we'll stop here. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-11-20 10:44:00 | |
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| here u go facebooks | |
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Employers: * Riced Out Labs Supporter of Ham #2361 Stellenbosch, Western Cape, South Africa Manuscript recovery, key lime pie propagation, piano preparer, screaming. |
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| Posted by Supporter of Ham #2361 @ 2010-11-16 01:00:00 | |
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| 500 | |
| fingity fingity fingity fong fong fong fong f'dong fong f'dong bong klong blong f'dong klong bong dong f'dong klong bong dong WOMP WOMP WOMP WOMP eeeeeeeeeeeeeeep. eeeeeeeeeeep. ZATCH ZATCH ZATCH ZATCH ZACH ZACH pew pew pew pew zeeble zabble zimple matrotsky zeeble trot trot rtorot toroto totoro toronto torus taurs guitarus chordus kronos and a leave senimillia street to the experts and andadnaskdlsa or dadadadada fing fing LOAD LOAD LOF ALF lOAF LOAF LOAF ALF half-alf alf lalfllaflalfalfalf lazy ducks on the nile tumm turr tadeee, singing a little buttrash, best call the doctor for some tonic, sdflkslkjdfs, now the fingers execute the tangy palarkmy matrix mauever twisted upon ouretecture because the jews jesus jerusalem more in flatuation and would you like to buy a sticker? i have plenty in cheboygensdlfkjsdlfkds boy sauce low sodium and a tangerine matrix stretched across a pegboard for great autoharp xylotube unionitus. your turn with the frisbee now ok? | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-11-15 17:42:00 | |
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| Inane Apple II Graphics Displays Vol. I | |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-11-15 10:27:00 | |
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| reminiscing about deuces with fuckle | |
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RTQP: what's the mileage on that deuce you got there RTQP: what is she, an 18-footer? fuckle: 18 foot six and a quarter fuckle: pure kentucky deuce fuckle: they don't build 'em like this anymore. fuckle: true deucemanship's gone the way of the dodo RTQP: i tell ya. it's getting hard to even find someone that can polish a deuce like that fuckle: deuce buffin' is a dying art fuckle: just a few old-timers left who know how to put a mirror shine on a class iii log RTQP: the river ain't worth floatin' it down neither. all full of justin bieber's little rabbit droppins fuckle: it's a cryin' shame. RTQP: i wish i could have done seen the civil war deuce floating down the nile back down in 1927. fuckle: boy, it was a sight to see. the whole town turned out to wish it well as it stank up the riverfront fuckle: nothin' like it before or since. RTQP: space deucein' ain't progressin' neither. man done landed a deuce on the moon. now we're still fartin' and a-tootin' about with global deuceocommunications fuckle: we've been goin' downhill ever since howard hughes flew the spruce deuce RTQP: i heard he kept it in a jar. fuckle: deuce jar RTQP: deuce in a fuckin jar RTQP: then float the jar too RTQP: down the river |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-11-14 02:22:00 | |
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| GHJKJGLKFFKJOD | |
| _________________________________________ / | | | _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ | | | | |_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____| | | | | __ __ _ __ | | | | / / / _|_ _ _ __ | |_ / / | |_| | | | | | '_ | __| | _| |_| | | | | |_ | | / / | | | | _ |_| __,_|_| |_|__| /_/ | | | | _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ | | | | |_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____| | | | | __ / / | | | | |/| |/| | | | | | | | | | | | | _ _____ _____ | | | | |_____|_____| | | | | __ __ ____ | | | | / /___ ___ | | | | | |/ _ / _ | | | | | | | (_) | (_) | | | | | | _ | |___/ ___/| | _____ _____ | | _____ _____ _____ _____ _____ | | | | _ /_/ | | |_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|_____|__ | | ___| | | | | __ ____ ____ ____ | | | | / / / / | | | | | | | | / / | | | | | | | | | | / / | | | | | | _____ _____ | | _ | | _/_/ _ | | | | ______|_____/_/ /_/ | | | | _ _ _ | | | | | | | __ __ | | | | | | | | |_____ _____ _____ ____ / / / | | | | | | | | | | |_____|_____|_____|_____ V V / | | | | | | | | | _/_/ | | | | | | |_|_| |_| | | | | _ _ _ _ | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |_|_| |_|_| / ----------------------------------------- ^__^ (oo)_______ (__) )/ ||----w | || || | |
| Posted by Atomdrache @ 2010-11-13 15:16:00 | |
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| Playing a saxophone. | |
| Now imagine that Bill Clinton is a urinating saxophone playing a raccoon. | |
| Posted by Atomdrache @ 2010-11-12 13:51:00 | |
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| Playing a saxophone. | |
| Now imagine that Bill Clinton is a urinating raccoon playing a saxophone. | |
| Posted by Atomdrache @ 2010-11-12 13:46:00 | |
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| Internal Communications | |
Help Create a Culture of Ghetto Blaster Courtesy
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| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2010-11-10 22:26:00 | |
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| a note to headerimg and all this fiddly technical crap | |
| i've just discovered the inner foam of my skull's manifold when oh god typey things. some fucking kid on the background going all siamese thanks to tiling, then you realize it's that jon and kate crap, two twins on either side of a photo tiling just to screw me up here, YES ME INDIVIDUALLY OK! i will not stand for this. i wrote you. i can destroy you | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-11-08 16:27:00 | |
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| HOVERFOX FOR A BETTER TOMORROW | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-11-07 13:45:00 | |
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| iabababbabaaaaabababaaa~ | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-11-04 23:29:00 | |
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| some day in the future | |
| some day i will hear, "your butane is ready, mr. president." after that i will but momentarily cease the torrent of earwigs streaming from my ears to take stock of the situation: commander in chief. a ready butane supply. the sandwich empire withdrawing its forces in defeat, in no small part due to my brilliant coup during the battle of steve. the bjork symphony orchestra, constantly playing hymns to the great bjorkess in the sky. ayoo-ha, ayoo-hep! joyous, to be sure. 65 thorns atankard, naughts cross by autumn if we want to live through the winte- hold on. yes, bjork orchestra, could you turn down the yell a bit? i am taking stock of the situation? thanks. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-11-01 18:29:00 | |
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| deepest apologies | |
| how deeply are you offended up to your EEEARS? perhaps the sitar-spangled spaghetti was not to your liking. can you play the beef stromboni? i can, a lively rigotta in Q 0.523. sorry to express it in that ugly decimal, this thing doesn't really have notes in the conventional sense. quite unwieldy to turn, as well. didn't think we were gonna make it at the corner of otto and bismark, but gosh darn if it wasn't the fractional rigotta that could... sorry, i seem to have gotten off topic. in any case, we're sorry. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-11-01 16:03:00 | |
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| Larry Wall's Greatest Pipe Organ Hits | |
| sed check baby chek baby check CC! sed hort wuzza dudd chuzza got nimble on u gots glu no gru but m comin 4 u n i ain't got da flu n horsies r blu PC! | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-10-30 17:00:00 | |
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| vote yugo 4 ultraprseident | |
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buy geo metro!111012xn attach global yugo representation to all forms of product cut back on funding to transit re-landscape the panama canal |
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| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2010-10-27 01:24:00 | |
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| nordstrom niggles | |
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nordstrom niggles give me the giggles. laps and laps of serious squiggles. we're goin over da wall, see. you got to have camoflage. otherwise the trees will see us in no time!!! sezlike hummmmmmmmmmchupchaboogle, chupaporqato. now, on the parakeet tip:
hi this is the ned section of the post. welcome to the ned section. ned section. ned ned nednendnendn nfslmdfsndlfknds NED OVERLOAD NED OVERFLOW NED NED NEFNSNENSDLMKNFLKDfSDF@E!@ management would like to apologize for the ned distruption. please fastion your saftey belts for further damage and/or injury. wizzzzard aof warriaorir aworiaoewrpasjda daldak warpdeck 9000(()#)P(#((#GO EAST |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-10-27 00:45:00 | |
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| electric pidgeon funk serious the eldrich | |
| once upon a time, my elders told me of electric pidgeon funk; serious the eldrich, how its subterranean rumbles would move the hills like the bowels of thor. the heavens would open with an almighty flap flap flapflaPFLAPFLAPFAFKAFdsfSDF:K and god would emit a jet of pure holy semen onto the church. winged solders of the electric blue zed persuasion would help the elderly finance their mortgages, and perhaps swap some recipes. steve would have mcdonalds on thursdays, and the perfect storm is nixon's agenda. it brought great blessings upon the harvest, along with a distinctive sheen to the tesla monument at elephant and castle. SPITSHINE DAT SUCKA RICHIE! giggle | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2010-10-26 03:04:00 | |
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| BLARGVAVPFHFPHHFFPHFPHHPHPHFFHHFFHFFFPPHPFFFPPHFFPHH | |
| Posted by Atomdrache @ 2010-10-25 03:55:00 | |
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