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| YUGO |
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YUGO LABS |
| ALSO WIK |
| true story | |
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The bouncers were not having any of my nonsense. I wasn't on the list, and the cough lozenge I offered was not deemed a suitable bribe. Clearly, I had to bust out the big guns.
"Let me through," I yelled. "I've blown Eric Estrada." The words cut through the air like a rancid fart. I seized the moment, and charged past the bouncers. You can always count on ol' Eric to clear the way for ya. I knew I had but moments until the bigger, less-hoodwinkable bouncers showed up to render me a persona ex discotechque. Worse, I had even less time until they spotted me, and if they did, I would no longer be able to blend in. "Pardon me, ma'am" I said, squatting behind a negro with an excessive gucci bag. "But I can't help but admire your purse!" "Thankya Dahling" she drawled, smiling wetly, loose lips almost melting amongst her bedazzler glitter, whatever you call that stuff. I got the impression she had taken a recreational dose of Xanax, and as such, pharmacology was making this interaction possible. Amazing what they can do, these days. She reached into the gucci bag, and pulled out a pen, writing her phone number on a napkin. I wasn't particularly expecting this, but as deep into the charade as I was, I didn't dare refuse. Besides, I felt like it might come in useful, some how. I slinked up the stairs, pondering what a corker of a word "nondescript" is. Long and pointy at the end, "Nondescript" is about as nondescript as dropping a colon-cleanser in an echo chamber. "Inconspicuous" is a sight worse.... I spotted Louie The Chin playing poker with his boys. Zach, 12, and Lourve, 9. I didn't like to interrupt the boys when they were playing poker -- they got testy -- but this was urgent. He spotted me coming. "For the last time, I'm not a gangster, and I can't sell you gouda, whatever the fuck that is!" He yelled. "This ain't about that," I snarled. "This is about me. And you. And what brand of refridgerator you have!" "Amana!" he barked, livid with anger. He was furious about his choice of fridge brand. I didn't understand why, but at least I could respect his passion. "Fair enough," I said, and left the club, walking past a cluster of bouncers. Their appearance reminded me of a pack of sour, frustrated roomba vacuums, and I did not pity them in the slightest |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-12-16 22:29:58 | |
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| Windows lineage | |
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Windows 3.1 - cos decimals are catchy Windows 95 - incase someone forgets the year Windows 98 - this worked well last time, if only the same could be said for the OS Windows ME - people don't remember years anymore Windows XP - letters are the way forwards Windows Vista - wow Windows 7 - that's where we went wrong, integer numbers is what we need Windows 8 - maybe we can call 10 "X" by then letters and proper input devices will be fashionable again |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2013-12-08 07:25:14 | |
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| sun cycle | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-11-30 09:08:01 | |
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| Ghentrification texhno | |
| ALLCAPZ - duh. simple. conveys a more aggressive and or satirical tone. this should be obvious to anyone that uses the internet. ALLFAPZ - duh. simple. conveys a more aggressive and or erectirical tone. this should be obvious to anyone that uses the internet. ALLNAPZ - duh. simple. conveys a more aggressive and or napirical tone. this should be obvious to anyone that uses the internet. ALLJAPZ - duh. simple. conveys a more aggressive and or eastirical tone. this should be obvious to anyone that uses the internet. ALLZAPZ - duh. simple. conveys a more aggressive and or zaptirical tone. this should be obvious to anyone that uses the internet. | |
| Posted by shitbowl @ 2013-11-30 03:24:57 | |
| Direct link to post | Read comments (1) |
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So tankembackat alagn ko furgrt. Gi. Ghi... Ghib. Gi. Sohsf, blapd ldld fhh. Woh whid skloo blin doinik. Saleal uk th junner crart. Od? Noeg assgsda grabsd innar tuban. Hhaker asgak ang dedsf. Now why would you do that? |
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| Posted by wolf530 (analog hacker extraordinaire) @ 2013-11-26 23:33:04 | |
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| Riced Out Yugo announces Operation Firedrake | |
| Having received a crop of $12 webcams, 39.8% of which were faulty, Riced Out Yugo has devised, planned, & announced Operation Firedrake. Nation of China, you have been warned. As a matter of national pride, we simply cannot tolerate these shenanigans. Prepare for an ontological infarction. | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-11-02 04:52:03 | |
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| Meet the members of CGI's management | |
designing an IT solution that is adaptable and modular to accommodate the implementation of additional functional requirements and services
designing an IT solution that is adaptable and modular to accommodate the implementation of additional funDAtutional requirements and servicesdesigning an IT solution that is adaptable and msolution todular to accommocommodate the implementation of additional functional ctionas and requirements and servicess~@!~s[utyputtypotutttputtyyu^]^]designing an IT solution that is adaptable and modulgcfssoar to acfssolutionIT solutionIT solutionIT solutionte the implementation og9o0000f additional functional requirements and service%$#j9s dump of private encryption key follows |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-10-24 14:02:52 | |
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| .7 urgent response veHICLE | |
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| Posted by shitbowl @ 2013-10-20 21:29:50 | |
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| Hey G-Men | |
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It has been brought to my attention that the government has taken to using teh internets to gain valuable secrets in order to taunt its clients more effervescently during recess and lunch periods. So I've decided to post three (3) of shitbowl's most embarrassing secrets here, in order to fulfil my civic duty: I'd reaallly like to get another bench grinder one day; I miss having one and it came in handy quite often. Kitty cats are my favourite pet. Kittens smell like the way people who like the way babies smell say babies smell but babies actually smell like shit and kittens smell good. I lost too many hours of sleep thinking about all the cool stuff I could laminate, with a laminating MACHINE. |
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| Posted by shitbowl @ 2013-10-17 11:35:38 | |
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| science news | |
| the homeless man with the power to evoke a weaver chicken nugget with his voice was hating on calico cats at the guggenheim when james bond busted his octocycle through the wall and dropped a witty remark that that no one heard because the resulting emergency signal discharged emergency halon at CERN and the experiment went horribly wrong everyone died the end | |
| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-10-01 22:24:24 | |
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| zap zap zap | |
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hi yugo whats up |
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| Posted by ...my name. is. THE PLAGUE @ 2013-09-30 18:24:47 | |
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| HELLO, CONSUMER! | |
| We interrupt your regularly scheduled wat to bring you a healthy, thoughtful break from the .7 is better coalition down here in Riced Out Marketing. We'd like to remind you that not only is .7 numerically greater than .5, it is also not a pig-porking disaster for America. Thank you! We now resume your regularly scheduled wat. | |
| Posted by RICED OUT MARKETING @ 2013-09-26 01:25:21 | |
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| .5 and .7 are all the same | |
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its all about that new shit that real yugo 2013 shit the shit from the streets do you think you scare me? you dont scare me a real yugo swordsman here not like these .5 and .7 fools do you think .5 and .7 are real? they're just an invention of rtqp and his cronies i'm here to liberate you from his lies from his fabrications his untruths and falsehoods and show that real 2013 yugo shit dont trust him, don't trust that guy mahjong either. i've already said too much they are sending someone to take me out, to silence me so you have to spread the real yugo spread th |
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| Posted by HYPERFUKBOT @ 2013-09-26 01:16:39 | |
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| strange occurrences | |
| I need to change the mixer. Wait why is the mixer all the way over there it's never there... is it? Wait that's like 20 meters or something actually more like 200... a mile? What the... | |
| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2013-09-21 23:24:00 | |
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| John Boehner's Dirty E.L.F. Secret | |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-09-19 05:03:24 | |
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| .7 propaganda warning | |
| Attention humble Yugo readers: certain information displayed on this website in recent times has been extremely suspicious, explicit & slanderous content. This is clearly a .7 ploy to acquire weapons of mass destruction. Thank you friends for your continued support of The Peoples Republic of .5, formally The Official Board of 0.5 - the true cause. | |
| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2013-09-17 02:11:34 | |
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| burger balls | |
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Stephen dorf hands out rights like rice on yugo; .5 cant stand that kinda stephen dorf thats y mahjong is the way he is he thinks half is kewl and doesn't know wat a lightning does. Stephen dorff know.
.7 4 life |
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| Posted by shitbowl @ 2013-09-16 10:54:43 | |
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| school sux: a vignette | |
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an odd memory surfaced, just now. i remembered where i learned what flowcharts were, and how to use them: Mr. Muldoon's 7th grade class. he had a guinea pig named "Loafi," which would squeal adamantly when Mr. Muldoon was late with supper, often interrupting the class. aside from this tidbit, the rest of the class was fantastically dull. i don't even remember what the class was called -- whether it was something specific like "biology" or simply "science," of the third period.
Mr. Muldoon's job was to teach me all the bones in a skeleton, along with esoteric facts about the earth's layers. finding this dull, i began to surreptitiously read. after getting caught a few times, i couldn't get away with this any more, and so i began interrupting the class, simply out of pent-up energy. he sent a note home to my parents and my parents took me to doctors and the doctors switched my medication for the fourteenth time. Mr. Muldoon and i were not on good terms after that. on the test, i remember filling in the correct names for the ten bones of a hundred something i could remember, then simply writing "pelvis" for everything else. we had been instructed to read quietly, if we finished our test early (providing me with even less incentive to try and remember one or two more). i pulled out my book, which was part of a set of 70s computer science textbooks i'd found in attic. i then read the chapter on how to draw a flowchart to match a computer program. i get paid plenty of money for my flowcharting ability, these days, despite having over a hundred pelvises. my excessive pelvises, however, have led to bad posture and carpal tunnel. i think it's time to finally learn those stupid bone names, because my fingers are going numb again. |
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| Posted by Reverend Tedward Q. Porktanker @ 2013-09-15 03:30:27 | |
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| Riced Out Hugo | |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2013-09-10 15:06:17 | |
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| Pirate & Proud | |
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Time to clear some things up. This is mainly for the guy on freenode who is the first person I ever called a douchebag in my life (what a great word America has given us). Seeing as we're clearing things up I asked my dentist today why British people are known for bad teeth. Apparently it's got something to do with unspecified other countries having a lot more whitening products being commonly used and nothing to hygiene... or my approach that all NHS dentists are crap and it's like the one thing you need to go private for... anyway getting back to my original points. 1. Believe it or not we also care about the TV/film/music industries - that's one of the reasons we pirate stuff. I know it seems strange to you but a more crowdsourcing approach to things are what most of us are looking for (the other lot just simply want stuff for free or to make some cash off it). We intentionally damage companies to bring about change or at least cause a crash followed by rebirth and rethinking. Think of it as a gradual sabotage. 2. Turning adblock off doesn't magically make me support the content creators. It makes the overall situation worse, why should I only support artists in a way that Google gets cash for it. There are many other ways to support artists other than advertising, especially if you make an intentional effort. 3. Having a sententious attitude with me will get you nowhere with me. You aren't better than me because you think 'well I'm not a thief'. If I told you I had a pirate radio station you would think it was cool because you'd think of radio caroline etc but because of all the stigma in popular culture I'm a bastard because I download mkvs - oh and by the way according to this guy every mkv file is suspicious. *mind blown* maybe he should go work for Microsoft. Rant over. My apologies to everyone expecting a decent post. |
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| Posted by Mahjong The Wisest @ 2013-09-10 12:43:51 | |
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